How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Agarathium1066]

I'm feeling incredibly exhausted by people's never ending push to find fault in literally everything that exists or has existed. If there's something being done to have fun someone around is going to be wringing their hands while pointing out that some tiny tidbit or off-statement could be taken as offensive if you squint hard enough. Every single topic of discussion is a minefield, every game, every hobby is somehow stepping on the toes of someone.

It's like an all consuming blackhole that demands that only it exists and it is consuming more and more of my surroundings, clawing away at anything and everyone I've tried to spend time with. It makes me reconsider the idea of closing up like a hermit crab to keep myself away from others because they just can't keep let things go. That or join the ever growing chorus of concern-trolls, trying to be one of the first to feast on a new victim in the hopes I might win a few scraps of meaning.

Just let someone feel joy, for fuck's sake. Let people have fun, let people speak, let people discuss.

 

[Man Flavored Tofu]

I'm feeling incredibly exhausted by people's never ending push to find fault in literally everything that exists or has existed.

I'm reminded that people are always on the hunt for the primary cause of the world's problems. If you can reduce all evil down into a single primary cause people will follow you like a cult leader.

The Best example was prohibition. All of society's ill was because of alcohol.

Crime, domestic abuse, and poverty would instantly be solved the second people stop drinking alcohol...so the temperance movement claimed for over a century. They smashed up private businesses, boycotted companies, edited textbooks to be anti alcohol, threatened any politician’s career that didn't bend the knee to temperance. The temperance movement could explain their world view in a single sentence. They didn't care who got hurt so long as they got their way.

We don't talk about that period too much, or fixate on the consequences of prohibition like the mob, because that mentality is still used to bend society to a cause. It's not easy to convince people that the world is complicated and reducing everything down doesn't fix things. Only way to wake people up is for the cure to be worse than the disease they're trying to treat.

 

[NashaWriter]

My dad is in the hospital with stage 3 renal failure.

Quick backstory - He had one massive stroke about 10 years ago but recovered with only his short-term memory in pieces. In the past two years he's had two Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIA's) that left him with weakness on his right side and unable to work at 60 years old.

His doctor said while there is some damage to both his kidneys, hopefully readjusting the various amounts of blood pressure and diabetic medicine he's on (and making sure he drinks at least 6 servings of water each day) might stop the renal failure from progressing any further....

The Doc also said that...that's a long shot and most likely he'll just keep progressing until....yeah.

I've put my life on hold since I was 25 in order to take care of him (and I'll do it again and again) and try to get him to some sort of normal.

He's my best friend....sometimes I call him my 'binary planet'...he keeps me in orbit and reminds me that, yes, I am apart of this family even tho, like him, Im 'different'. (Not in a weird way just....we don't click if that makes sense).

Now my fathers mortality is in my head and I don't like it.

(Sorry for all the words and sadness, I dont have many other places to just spill the beans at. <3 ))

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Better. For how long though?

 

[Curt Sibling]

I wish I'd killed myself a year ago.

No you don't. This reality only exists today.
Shit gets better.

 

[Pale Empress]

Started lifting and eating better and getting back into shape other than vaguely spherical, feels good bros.

It's like an all consuming blackhole that demands that only it exists and it is consuming more and more of my surroundings, clawing away at anything and everyone I've tried to spend time with. It makes me reconsider the idea of closing up like a hermit crab to keep myself away from others because they just can't keep let things go. That or join the ever growing chorus of concern-trolls, trying to be one of the first to feast on a new victim in the hopes I might win a few scraps of meaning.

Just check out. I've built a hug box for myself since the beginning of the year, stopped going on other boards and social media. Even though I know shit is worse now than it was last year, at least I don't have to immerse myself in it.

I know it's not something everybody can do, depending on social life and general disposition, but I highly recommend it in whatever way is accessible to you.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Just check out. I've built a hug box for myself since the beginning of the year, stopped going on other boards and social media. Even though I know shit is worse now than it was last year, at least I don't have to immerse myself in it.

I know it's not something everybody can do, depending on social life and general disposition, but I highly recommend it in whatever way is accessible to you.

I've already done so much pruning of my ties, turning down of invitations, and general avoidance of trouble that at this point I feel so terribly isolated. Though I can't deny its done good the idea of having to go even further just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Its a strange thing, coming to the realization that maybe those quiet spinsters living a small life were really doing the best for themselves all along. I regret my harsh judgements of them even if I still think I have some points. They likely knew that and had accepted the cost long ago.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Just check out. I've built a hug box for myself since the beginning of the year, stopped going on other boards and social media. Even though I know shit is worse now than it was last year, at least I don't have to immerse myself in it.

I know it's not something everybody can do, depending on social life and general disposition, but I highly recommend it in whatever way is accessible to you.

The voice telling you to check out and to stop trying is just because you've built up a mental image that you'll automatically be rejected.

 

[NashaWriter]

I'm almost 30 and haven't accomplished any of the things I thought I would have done by now. Young me would probably think present me is a failure.

Don't live by anyone else's timeline. Quick story related to this. My aunt was going on 50 and wanted a career change, wanted to go into nursing. "But im too old" she lamented. My uncle quickly told her, "So? You'll be 50 either way." She got her nursing degree and is very happy about it.

Im 35 and in the same boat you are. I should have my PHD by now, but I took a break for my mental health. If I get it when im 40 or 50, who cares? I still have it and if I don't, well shit, I still have a masters which is neat as hell. Hell, I don't even have my license. I constantly feel like im ten years behind everyone...but those thoughts are lame and they mean nothing.

Do you on your own time...and Im here if you need to talk or vent. <3

 

[Heckler1]

People at work remembered my birthday, and threw me a surprise party. Feels good

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

I'm in tremendous pain after going to a muay thai training for the first time after pausing 2 years and being paired in sparring with a pro fighter who acted like if his pre-workout was made of pure meth. I feel amazing

 

[A Grey Cat]

Don't live by anyone else's timeline. Quick story related to this. My aunt was going on 50 and wanted a career change, wanted to go into nursing. "But im too old" she lamented. My uncle quickly told her, "So? You'll be 50 either way." She got her nursing degree and is very happy about it.

Im 35 and in the same boat you are. I should have my PHD by now, but I took a break for my mental health. If I get it when im 40 or 50, who cares? I still have it and if I don't, well shit, I still have a masters which is neat as hell. Hell, I don't even have my license. I constantly feel like im ten years behind everyone...but those thoughts are lame and they mean nothing.

Do you on your own time...and Im here if you need to talk or vent. <3

i know "age is just a number" tends to be a mantra of manchildren (and pedos) but really it used to mean "you're never too young or too old to change something about yourself or improve yourself in someway. Tom Brady just won the superbowl at 43, Matt Cullen is 41 and still an active NHL player, and Oscar Swahn won an olympic gold medal at 71.


As for myself well work's still kinda slow second time this week I'm looking at at least half of a full 40 hr week. The official reason is Labor's too high while business is slow, meaning there can't be too many people on payroll without a net loss in profit, so some people need less time to work. I should be happy I have this time off but I hate being stuck at home with nothing to do. Plus i can't shake this feeling there's more too it than "labor being too high."

well on the plus side while I didn't go out much today when i did I was hit with unusually warm weather like it hasn't been this warm out since September and it's only the 9th of March. Still wish covid still wasn't keeping everything in a semi state of shutdown. NJ's not on lockdown the way other blue states like cali or even britbong land is, but I just know it's gonna be a while before the mask orders are lifted...and I doubt it'll be so before summer.

Lastly Still waiting on my state tax refund, should be in by the 18th the soonest, can't believe it takes a month in NJ to get it. And then there's the Biden dollars which are hoping to be passed by mid March.

 

[Coffee Druid]

I've been wanting some for awhile. But I have some baby chicks peeping and chirping around in their brooding pen now.

The local feed store I get them from lists their weekly breeds so I made sure to research them all and pick 6 assorted ones based on adult colors, temperament and amount of eggs. One of my friends who's also getting chickens is basing their decision mainly around egg color, but I don't care. They taste the same inside. I'm getting 2 more next week since they didn't come in with this shipment. It will be 5 months or so until I get eggs from 'em, but for now I'm just happy to watch them toddle around and eat their crumbles. I love my baby dinosaurs.

I'm looking up coop plans trying to decide whether it's cheaper to buy one or make one.

 

[knobslobbin]

I moved to a state with no shutdowns or masks requirements a few months ago and I'm doing much better now. I've been hitting the gym, meeting people, and getting back into some outdoor hobbies. Things are back to normal, and I can't believe I waited so long hoping my last state would pull their heads out of their asses.

I've been eating healthier and taking vitamin D3/K2 and that's making a big difference too.

 

[MrAnnoyingDude]

Pretty good. Thinking of buying one of these for my cousin, who is due in a few weeks.

 

[Allakazam223]

I am desperately unhappy. My wife and I haven't had sexy times in months. She told me on Valentines day to not bother shaving my junk, because I'm not likely to get any, unless it's from a coworker.

The universe has a sense of humor for sure though. New girl started work last week, and we got talking on Tuesday. Her mum and my sister were best friends, I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. We always said she'd grow up to be a heartbreaker, but I didn't ever expect it to be MY heart thats breaking.

I want to be loyal to my wife, but I've gotten more affection from my coworkers than my wife over the last few years and it's wearing me out. Can't shower or eat before work, that wakes up the wife. Can't sit on my couch, the light wakes up the wife. I work, she doesn't, yet I have to do cleaning when I get home or I get screamed at. I'm so unhappy, but it's not like I want to hurt her or my kids, so I just... exist.

Because of the way the lockdowns are here, I can socialize with my coworkers, noone else. Not a suprise to me to see some of the younger people at work start to hook up. I just wanna be happy again. It isn't right that the only affection I get right now is from my coworkers, gotten more hugs at work from my male coworkers than from my wife in the last year.

I don't want to divorce her and have her rape me in child support/alimoney, so I keep trying to make her happy.

My memory has been shitty since I got two concussions in one day a few years ago, but I don't know how to improve it. I can forget two things out of four within 5 minutes, and have no idea how to improve it.

Thanks for this thread. I needed to vent.

 

[Wraith]

First hour and a half leg training since coming out of the hospital.
No injuries. No relapses. All's good.
Plus I have cinnamon rolls as a reward. The cinnamon counts as a supplement. ... Really.

 

[PaleTay]

The lockdowns make me constantly reflect more on life.

I'm too muscular for anyone to really want to try anything now, but I miss the days where anyone who did would instantly have 40 or 50 people ready to jump them instantly even if the most that ever happened were the rare bar fight or fight at a party.

I had an extraordinary amount of loss and tragedy as a teenager, and I remember one of my female best friends insisted on being there for me every single day to the point of being sweet but annoying. I ended up pushing her away repeatedly and after the tenth or so fight we stopped being friends permanently in university. She could be a bitch, controlling, and super overbearing and I mostly thought of her as a mean popular girl who loved me pretty much unconditionally but sometimes got on my nerves as well those of most of her friends. Seeing how she turned out in her 20s really made me realize that she has a lot of anxiety/depression and probably other issues and just seems somewhat broken now, I guess I'm sad that I can't be there for her and a lot of her issues stemmed from her struggles.

 

[Kornula]

Old you would look at your younger self as naive and delusional. So it's a draw.

Blame the adults that lied to you when they said you could be anything you want when you grow up.

John Lennon remembers being asked what he wanted to be when he grew up in Kindergarden. His reply: "I want to be happy" sadly, that got him sent to the princpals office as the teacher claimed he didn't understand the question.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Every day is Groundhog Day.