How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Ygolonac]

I think I should actually look into seeing a therapist too, the more I think about it, I think the whole "I shouldn't take my meds" thing goes a bit deeper than politics and anti-psych discourse. Apparently "Don't take your meds, they're poison, they're trying to control you" is a common delusion of the mentally ill. And ya, that's the way it's always felt, like some delusional voice in my head. I dunno, it's early, either way I think I just gotta like do some more introspection y'know? I feel like I'm finally getting places.

Medication is sort of a binary thing where if you need it, you should really be taking it, and if you don't need it, you really shouldn't be taking it.

Everytime you take your meds, you seem to have a pretty positive experience with it, if they are helping and the side effects aren't too severe it's a good idea to keep taking them.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

the problem is that wherever you go, you’re there. The urge to move abroad and burn everything down is like the urge to cut your hair off - it’s a sign that you’re unhappy.

I agree with you on 80% of the stuff you say here, but don't get this reasoning. The problem is that quote has been bastardized to hell and back. It's about being mindful of your surroundings and living in the moment. It doesn't mean "Don't ever leave your current surroundings that make you miserable because literally no change in culture, economy, job prospects or more areas catered around your interests will ever possibly make you happier ever so eat shit and fucking die."
If it really doesn't make a difference than it shouldn't matter what somebody does anyways.
This stuff kind of reminds me of when people bring up missing a pre-clown world and people waxing poetic about how the past has always been romanticized and there was never a point where people were objectively happier for obvious reasons.

All of those things you've described already apply to me right now

Same here. Just going to add in my two cents to the discussion.

But as someone who is probably going to be doing the same thing in July, I have to really disagree with all the nay-sayers here.
I was away from my hometown for literally four months of my life. And it was the most freeing, overwhelming peace I've ever discovered in my entire life. I've spent years gaslighting myself that I could find happiness in my hometown and was just a gym visit and a haircut away from being able to feel comfortable.
Here's what I'd ask... Why not just find out for yourself?
If you go and you're miserable and you notice it was never about the change in scenery and it was a lifestyle change... that will give you such a glow-up that wherever you go afterwards, you WILL carry yourself differently. Even if it's a depressing realization, it will be what's necessary to take the next steps in life.

The problem with bad cities/towns is they make you think every other place is just like them. To be fair, you can interact with the world in a better way and find more avenues opening up to you based on your attitude (like what's been happening with me lately). But if you feel like there's a stopgap on your life based on where you are, your body isn't lying to you. Otherwise you will find yourself ten years later looking back at a life that, while it was still pretty nice in it's own way, could have been a little more interesting and free.
You'll be fine. And if not... you'll still be fine.
At least you'll have your answer.
As some wise leafs once said "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

hold the door open for a little old lady and she will hiss at you

Within 24 hours of being in California, studying a menu, an old lady looked at me and said "you don't look like a lot of fun". My friends still bully me about it. The culture shock is cute til it ain't. "Well I'm a shut-in already" says the 19-year old kissless virgin when asked why they wanna move elsewhere. Then why fucking move at all? To be Alone, Japan?

All of those things you've described already apply to me right now I dunno I'm not saying I'll move somewhere else forever, but I feel like experiencing living abroad for a couple years can't hurt me. If it ends up sucking then it will be one of those life lesson moments. Plenty of retards in my family that moved abroad and they're doing fine, why would I be any different?

Lots of youth here get that out of their system backpacking or working 4 months in a foreign country in their late teens here. Realize you're privileged by looking at starving asian farmers. Realize you're a superior aryan nordic superhuman when you see 'men' 5 ft tall walk around in spain. Have a funny story for life "that time I worked on Greenland". I'm at the point I'm fantasizing about moving back closer to my parents, getting into a mindset of "fuck my career; anything to be closer to family". Then I visit home and realize how dead and depressing the place is. I feel like that's what most people experience when moving abroad once the shine has worn off.

But as someone who is probably going to be doing the same thing in July, I have to really disagree with all the nay-sayers here.

Bro held hands with a girl and saw god.

Considering how pro-Japan the internet is, it speaks volumes of how desperate people are about moving there. They could study for 5 years and get a remote IT job in Japan before moving there, make real good money and do it in a legitimate way. Instead, they drop everything they have, do the JET teaching shit; get put in butthole nowhere, suffer for a year, fail to get a new visa and get kicked home. I love watching people talk poorly of Japan because it quite literally only succeeds because of the wacky media and kawaii type shit.

My Twitch suggestions have recently been nothing but IRL streams in which a european goes around in another european city, overwhelmed by how great, friendly and economic it is, but "bulgarian in switzerland" doesnt hit the same as "yank fuck in hong kong". I've had the idea of uprooting and moving elsewhere a lot as of late, but at the same time, I've coworkers who grew up and started families here, and if I look at my immediate geography through that lens, there's a lot of shit to do and see down here. I just don't have the friends or family to do so regularly.

 

[Wigger Rights Advocate]

Realize you're a superior aryan nordic superhuman when you see 'men' 5 ft tall walk around in spain

Nigga that's me I'm literally the 5 ft goblin in the Mediterranean why do you think I wanna move. And yeah I'd rather be alone elsewhere than here, again I don't mind loneliness at all I'm used to it, it would be the least of my issues to be honest

 

[Spilled Spaghett]

Im really getting tired of hearing. "Don't worry it gets better. You're still young you have so much time." I'm tired of being treated like a child by fucking boomers because I'm not as old and decrepit as they are. My dad died at 65 I'm about halfway in the grave.

I don't like feeling like I make excuses for myself, but I really don't know how things could have turned out any other way. It feels like every time I ever try something it ends in failure. I've tried doing my own thing and all it did was leave me alone. I try to be more agreeable and what people want me to be and they still won't even acknowledge me. I'm tired of being tested and told I have to grovel and beg and force myself on others because if I ever stop reaching out everyone will forget about me. But if I ever expect the same in return I'm being unreasonable and pushing people away.

Am I really just here to suffer? Did God make me so that I could see all the joys in life and dangle it outside my reach like a carrot to torment me? Did He really think I was ever going to make it? When I die will I be punished for wasting my life and cashing in early? Or will He agree the deck was stacked against me and I did all I could? I'm stuck too scared to live, too afraid to die. My whole life is a train wreck in slow motion. I don't want to struggle anymore and keep failing trying to fix it. I just want it to be over.

 

[DavidS877]

I accomplished something this weekend. My kitchen sink tends to clog up often, usually it can be cleared somewhat by boiling water and/or chemicals. I try and use the chemicals sparingly as we're on septic tanks out here. So I finally tore the trap apart, cleaned it out and then had to deal with the actual clog, somewhere in the bowels of the house, due to it being galvanized and cast iron the pipes are rough and tend to gunk up easily. I tried my little baby drain snake which did nothing, as usual. Then I tried one of those hose end balloons that plugs the pipe and injects water in. This seems to work fine until you turn it off. Apparently if the clog is after the vent then the water, obviously, fills the vent, and when you turn off the balloon the water all comes back out quickly, all over the kitchen. Next step was a bucket and turning it off slowly so it drained into the bucket instead. After several iterations apparently the clog came loose and all flowed freely again. And I didn't have to try and use my industrial(Harbor Freight) drain auger. Needless to say I really need to get time to figure out how to clean out the kitchen and living room so they can be remodeled and get the last of the fucky pipes replaced.
Also, flew for nearly an hour in some lovely turbulence and began preparing to go visit Mom next weekend, plane or car will depend on the weather.