A single person has one and only one responsibility, and that is to his tummy.
Yes. Not wrong at all. But discouraging to say. It's reductive, it's cheap, it's just... animalistic. I myself just ordered some pizza. I'll feel a little bad about it, but fuck it -- I've found a job where I can afford that kind of thing.
But why not walk out? Why not then, walk out, eat nuts and grubs, hunt songbirds, just in general be a big ol' tramp? take my shitty 20lb bow and hunt squirrels? Fuck that. I've eaten out of trash cans before. Fuck that shit. Never again.
I hate to quote video games, but people who survive a long time on the battlefield start to think they're invincible. I think you've let that happen to you.
We can never forget what we've done and where we came from. Not the glamourous shit -- A person can be pathetic for a long time, and it teaches a lot. A key lesson though is that you never cease being pathetic. Few precious people get to break out.
Everything is so much easier if you remember literally none of it actually matters. I see old friends, people I know are smarter than me, and harder-working than me, and they're struggling. It's preposterous.
I see old friends, and they are much more prosperous. They have higher clearances than I do. They make more than I do. They're more comfortable and secure than I am. They have friends, family, and allies. They appear to do whatever they like and it just works. Meanwhile, every time I look on Indeed, my qualifications are good enough to take a severe pay cut after round and round of interviews, and probably get told off because my particular fizzbuzz solution isn't to their liking even though I was applying to some shop hand or front desk reception position. I read plenty, and try to learn, and at first contact in the field of whatever I've been studying, I'm called an idiot, even by longtime friends.
I'll tell you what-if. ... Might as well try the funny options.
I almost put a bid on a crossbow the other night. Just a recurve, but with an RDS and some other accessories. That's not a threat or anything; I just like shooting. It's zen stuff. You don't need a gun license for crossbows here, either. I didn't because I know I'd just act the fool with it, and there's karens all about raring to call the cops about a nigger with a weapon. I already learned my lesson bow-shooting around here with a child-tier 20lb compound bow. The funny options aren't so funny under threat of police action. Can't even really go fishing in a canoe; I should know better than anyone the exact value of ammunition expended to prevent that. There could've been a small ground war about it here, even before my own getting stuck down the the coast guard for fishing.
I even thought of getting a pet and saw that sheep are cheap. 250/head. Cheap, if you like being raided by police, because they are banned by the municipality. Same for chickens, oddly. Chicks are cheap until they're worth your life. Though you know only t-dot and mt.real seem to operate with P90s? Everywhere else gets knockoff ARs. Can't even get shot with something fun these days.
I have a nice 13 month gap in my resume where I just enjoyed being me and pissed away my savings.
That was a swell year. When I've been asked about it in job interviews, I've talked about some of the cool shit I did.
I have about 50k in liquid savings, but a gap year isn't worth it. I can't quit my job so easily, and even if I could, a gap year in IT is a death sentence. Not that the good ol Code of Service Discipline lets me so much as freelance.
That's all there is for me now. Being a well-fed well-heeled dog of the local fuckin' shogunate.
