How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[A Grey Cat]

Had to go to he post office for a passport card application, i dont have and can't get all the nessicary paperwork (long story) and they where no help. Let's just say it just proves the system is fucked up and such a red tape headache i gave up on the whole thing after they sent me all the way back to the clerk's office who just as equally no help at all.


i have an appointment to get a new id card next week and hopefully they wont be as bad, I have an old expired one, a tax statement from 2020, i can get a bank statement, my social security card, a health insurance card and a proof of address letter. hopefully that'll be enough for them to give me a new valid id. I've been trying to get on or the other cause i wanna get my Gun license already and I need a valid ID to apply for it.

If any good came outta this i was able to take the money orders i originally took out to pay the passport fees and cash them in despite 2 of them already being signed to the us department of state. took some of the money and bought a six of coors to help forget this awful day.

 

[Exuvia]

Not doing too well. Starting to realize the positives and negatives of the new project I was assigned to in May is heavily weighted towards the latter. I should probably just quit at this point. I'm also tired of my apparent tendency to befriend people that are completely unreliable. I just feel so isolated and unvalued. For months now, I haven't been able to muster the energy to draw or read the books I currently have open.

 

[glass_houses]

Another night where the 'sleep' switch refused to click on. I did sleep until very late yesterday so that should offset it a little. I have a list of chores to perform, research and an OP to carry out and write, and some personal journal entries that I've fallen behind on. It'll be interesting to see how far I'll get before my engine conks out.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

Decided to read the new testament, maybe it will be interesting or maybe it won't. I don't think I ever truly tried to read the bible seriously until now. Not sure what to expect.

 

[Vingle]

Someone broke into my car over the weekend. Thankfully, only a phone charger was stolen.

Nice reminder to never leave anything in the car.

 

[Wraith]

Decided to read the new testament, maybe it will be interesting or maybe it won't. I don't think I ever truly tried to read the bible seriously until now. Not sure what to expect.

Get a copy (digital) of the New King James and Old King James, both. They don't have crap removed from them and are highly eye opening.

For me: (Sorry this is a rant)
So I am still on that cataloging pedo crap project, but ol' Wraith wasn't paying attention and damaged my arm through carpal tunnel whatever. I was actually happy because I got away from the demo / jew pedo filth for a few weeks.
Bigger problem: I am an idiot. I decided in my spare time to start playing the old game boy color version of the original Wizardry. Hadn't played any version of that in years (avatar notwithstanding.) Didn't know the GBC version was gimped and only about 48% of what was a 20 year old game was put into the rom / cartridge.
During this I reinjured my arm because of one section where I was grinding while relaxing and watching videos. You those menu RPGs. Anyway YAY! A LARGER VACATION FROM DEM JEW PEDO CRAP! Several weeks without having to look at terrible stuff! I get to work on other stuff in the meantime.
I healed up. Well I beat the game (was a disappointment it was) and was able to go back to work recently. ... I hate people so damn much. I am so weak inside right now, like I watched someone I love die repeatedly. There is just so much lib pro-pedo crap (how does "toddlers understand consent" run you?) that it made go from a great mood to feeling emotionally sick in a half an hour. Working on the mess I dug up some music I got for Christmas from a remix site. I didn't notice I had played the same song like dozens of times because I was focusing on the music and trying not to break down reading all this disgusting stuff. It was like the old drummer on an old row ship. Just focus on the funky beats and don't break.
I can't handle this. I feel like I'm watching the world die in slow motion and I can't do a damn thing about it except pray for the deaths of these people and leave it in God's hands. I've gone from sheer rage to being broken. I hate you dems and jews, so damn much. I hate you. I'll never forgive you ever.
The music in case you need a pick me up. I certainly do.

And yes, that is the Beastie Boys combined with video game music.
EDIT: - Oh yeah, I'm almost at 150 folders of this stuff sorting it all.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

@Wraith Quote system doesn't work.... Anyways, the translation I'm using is from 1584. I'm not sure if it's the King James bible, but I'll buy that one then.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

I tried eating a salad today to see if they really do make you feel good. It wasn't terrible, I've had worse lunches.

 

[Chicken Neck Nelly]

Been suicidal for like 10 years, especially bad for the last 4 years or so. Managed to illegally get my hands on pentobarbital in July, which is the same drug they use to execute prisoners and perform euthanasia. It is actually easier to get your hands on this than a firearm in my country. Every hour of every day I consider taking it and it's only a matter of time before I work up the balls to do it.

 

[Meat Target]

Been suicidal for like 10 years, especially bad for the last 4 years or so. Managed to illegally get my hands on pentobarbital in July, which is the same drug they use to execute prisoners and perform euthanasia. It is actually easier to get your hands on this than a firearm in my country. Every hour of every day I consider taking it and it's only a matter of time before I work up the balls to do it.

Don't do it, fren. Get help.

 

[Chicken Neck Nelly]

Don't do it, fren. Get help.

Already tried many times. No medications work, therapy is useless too. Currently in therapy and it isn't doing shit like always. Pretty sure I have BPD based on things my psychiatrist told me and everything I read about it, and of course this is notoriously difficult to treat. The world is literally better off without mental defectives like me. Appreciate the concern though.

 

[Vingle]

Already tried many times. No medications work, therapy is useless too. Currently in therapy and it isn't doing shit. Pretty sure I have BPD based on things my psychiatrist told me and of course this is notoriously difficult to treat. The world is literally better off without mental defectives like me. Appreciate the concern though.

If there's no solution, at least blame twatter. Predict that they're so evil that they're going to attack you even after your death.

Or you could continue to live, just to spite and blackmail them.
The choice is yours.

 

[Chicken Neck Nelly]

If there's no solution, at least blame twatter. Predict that they're so evil that they're going to attack you even after your death.

Or you could continue to live, just to spite and blackmail them.
The choice is yours.

That would be nice though to somehow pin it on Twitter as one final "fuck you" to this shitty world, but we all know only the Farms gets heat for allowing cyberbullying and big tech are immune

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

My stomach hurts :<

 

[Wraith]

Already tried many times. No medications work, therapy is useless too. Currently in therapy and it isn't doing shit like always. Pretty sure I have BPD based on things my psychiatrist told me and everything I read about it, and of course this is notoriously difficult to treat. The world is literally better off without mental defectives like me. Appreciate the concern though.

>mental defectives
Moses has a speech impediment and a crooked stick and he brought two million of the most idiotic morons through a desert and destroyed the world's most powerful military at the time with the biggest bath ever recorded by man.
What is, is. Little is much in the hands of God. If you want to throw your ass in the trash, someone like God or me will pick you up and put you to good use. Looking down at yourself because you are not the edward cullen / edward gray symbol of perfection and wanting to flush yourself is a faggot satanic female point of view. Don't be a bitch. You got a cross to bear. Bear it like a bear and don't toss something so valuable that the Son of God came down and had to put up with jews for 33 and a half years to redeem you. Think about it, HE HAD TO DEAL WITH JEWS FACE TO FACE FOR THAT LONG. You're clearly not to give up.
You're never alone. God loves you and so do I. At the other side of 3am is a new morning. At the other side of a german winter is a glorious spring. Kagget, don't give up. YOU STILL FUNCTION. Spit in the face of satan and say he has bad shoes and an egg shaped penis.

 

[Sped Xing]

@Wraith Quote system doesn't work.... Anyways, the translation I'm using is from 1584. I'm not sure if it's the King James bible, but I'll buy that one then.

That's older than KJV, but KJV is probably a better translation.


I prefer the KJV just because.the early modern English is fun. I know they called hyraxes "hares," but that represents the maximum extent of my bible knowledge.

 

[Chicken Neck Nelly]

@Wraith lmao that was pretty funny, appreciate it. Just gonna point out that Moses himself was also a Jew so dealing with Jews face to face wasn't really a big deal having been a small hat himself and thus acclimated to their (((idiosyncrasies))). But yeah in all seriousness it's pretty easy to say suck it up when you don't have to deal with extreme self-loathing and misery every second of the day that cannot be quelled. I got more reasons to hate myself other than the mental shit too, my life is just all around shit and there is literally no reason to live.

 

[Wraith]

@Wraith Quote system doesn't work.... Anyways, the translation I'm using is from 1584. I'm not sure if it's the King James bible, but I'll buy that one then.

Took me until now to look up the word "buy."

@Wraith lmao that was pretty funny, appreciate it. Just gonna point out that Moses himself was also a Jew so dealing with Jews face to face wasn't really a big deal having been a small hat himself and thus acclimated to their (((idiosyncrasies))). But yeah in all seriousness it's pretty easy to say suck it up when you don't have to deal with extreme self-loathing and misery every second of the day that cannot be quelled. I got more reasons to hate myself other than the mental shit too, my life is just all around shit and there is literally no reason to live.

Spoiler: You know Wraith can talk...

Initially you're not wrong about Moses being a jew, but pull the camera back for a few seconds. He wasn't raised a jew in Egypt. He was raised in Egyptian splendor and had to flee into the desert where he was away from jewish 'culture,' whatever you can call them being slaves at the time culture. He was separated from them for 40 years. I gotta tell you, with the jews I know that hate my ass, 40 years would be a good start of a vacation. So he was approaching the situation from a dude who was comfortable tending sheep for four decades. he might have been biologically in their family line, but he was a different man.
DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! BELIEVE IN THE GOD AND THE WRAITH THAT BELIEVE IN YOU! Dude, I used to make veiled comments about the horrendous crap I've had dumped on me, and still have heat on me, tremendous insane heat, and I haven't always lived 100% right. It might shock you but past my glorious sexy red eyes the hot chicks love, I'm actually human. If you've done some crap forgive yourself because God will... (unless you like soccer or steal a man's french fries. I... I can't let that go.) If God loves you, forget about your own feelings. Seriously, fudge 'em. God (and my resplendent extension Wraith) have a more important opinion of you than you do yourself. I see the future. God sees the future "calling those things which do not exist as though they did." God has a billion and two ways to help you through your situation. It may take a lot of faith, blood, sweat and pizza, but as long as you're not ending up dating my last ex girlfriend, YOU STILL FUNCTION.
I don't know the misery in total you're going through. I can't share what I've been through 100% but again, I've left hints on KF. Don't give up. I don't even now your ass and I value you... (unless I see those hands coming for my fig bars. Then you lose the hands.)

I'm going to give you some therapy someone gave me when I was in a miserable situation circa 2014/15. I was ready to die. Again. I can't explain what all happened, but it was nightmarish. Someone reminded me of this: happiness and joy are two different things. Happiness comes from the Scandinavian word Hap, meaning something that happens to you. Joy comes from inside, comes from the Lord. (It's really healthier than happiness, but whatever.) However self made happiness can come from three things: 1. Something to do. This is age of the internet and all sorts of stuff. Even a day to day job is something to do. 2. Something to love. You have God, Jesus, and brotherly love for red eyed long speaking pain in the asses in cloaks and garlic bread. 3. Something to hope for. Whatever position you're in, don't let the clouds, the wind, the waves and water in the middle of the storm of the nasty sea you're in cloud your vision that at the end of the storm, sunlight and calm shows up, even if it takes a bitch of a time.
Hold on. I don't want to see someone reaching out giving up. I've been there. I can't explain it because it's nasty on levels I can't go into, but I've been there. YOU STILL FUNCTION.

 

[Coelacanth]

It seems that a vile force of darkness has arrived in the holiday cottage next door. Four screeching crotch goblins ran up past my house followed by parents who were literally carrying everything. I'm pretty sure the little gits have already ransacked the place and are currently screaming at volumes that shouldn't be humanly possible. The kicker? The parents are encouraging them to scream louder.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

I'm crying about Steve Blues Clues.