Save up some money and shut yourself away from the world for a bit. Im not talking about giving up in disgust or anything like that. Simply take a long break if you can. Its not good to work so hard if you dont even know what it is.
I appreciate the advice. Unfortunately, when I'm not working I don't have anything I want to do. I spend all of my time sleeping or staring at walls. I've had extended periods of non-work and they were not very rehabilitative. Now I'm in a field where extended time off work can be career suicide if it's not medical or parental.
Get a fish or plant? Something that takes little effort to care for and can be left alone for some time? I'd say get a cat but that might be too much at this time. Just something to focus some attention and awareness of need to. Fishes might be more work then a cat depending, but neglecting them isn't as big of a deal.
I feel the exact same way. As a kid people always told me that I'll surely figure out what I want to do when I get older but that just never happened. I just go to work, I lift weights and then go to sleep afterwards. It's maddening, I've caught myself wishing for major strife just so I can feel what having strong emotions is like again.
Get a cat then. They're little balls of drama and give you a reason to live. They did an experiment with prisoners and they (the adults, not the juvies) demonstrated a marked improvement in happiness and compassion.
I have two cats, actually, and adopted them because I thought it would help my mental health like you suggest. Sweet things. I like keeping a clean home and they kinda ruined that by getting hair and litter everywhere and destroying my furniture though. I never liked owning fish or plants, too hard to tell what they need and too easy to forget about.
You just brought back an old memory from when I was a kid. I was staying at a friend's house, it was late at night, and I went down to the kitchen for a snack. I was surprised to see that his grandfather was sitting there. He asked what I planned to do when I grow up and I said I couldn't think of anything. He asked me a long line of questions and his final conclusion was "Kid, seems like your options are to be a monk or a hobo."
Both of which can be mitigated. Or get a hedgehog as those are hypoallergenic.
I've had similar conversations with adults when I was a kid. The most concerning thing to me was always how stumped they seemed by my complete lack of drive. They just had no answers and that scared me.
I have 2 dogs. A lack of pets is not the reason I have no dreams or aspirations.
...I'll concede that fear of failure was the only thing keeping me going at times. I may have been projecting a bit as I'm too broke to be able to afford having a pet at this time. The only other thing I could think of is to find some sort of social club that's up your alley? But stuff like the Rotary club are full of old fogies that refuse to make the club more accomodating for fresh meat. I don't know how social shooting ranges would be, or if you would rather just have a big project like a Lego Deathstar or those super complicated wooden constructions. Or painting minifigs for 40k? Probably still projecting as I'm broke af.
I don't have anything I want to do ether, but it is more concerning theres this this societal pressure to become something. Which is going to deal some damage in the future, when jobs are getting more and more automated.
Congrats on the job! I hope you get financially stable enough to get the right pet or 3d printer for you (or both).
...maybe that's ok? Marriages started falling apart when TV started telling people their spouse should've been Mr Perfect or the best available, but that means there was a time where people accepted their imperfect partners and carried on. Things got more and more expensive to live when we were told to buy the next shiny thing all the time, or fight to be the best of the best. Companies are obsessed with earning every last dollar, and politicians are obsessed with their reputations, and are willing to destroy the world to achieve their dreams. Maybe to survive as a species we must learn to take solace in mediocracy?
maybe a 3d printer, I already got a beginner one picked out when i ahve money
My dude, that looks like an instant regret printer. It's tiny. You'll print 3 things and immediately want to upgrade.
