How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Saint Zacharias]

i could try to get into construction, or road work, but aside from the fact I may not physically handle it, they'll pass me over for someone who's fit enough to keep up with the work. I could get there eventually, but it would take too long for any employer who would be interested.

From my own experience in this line of work, these types of companies are always looking for hands to hire. The only thing they are check as far as fitness goes is that you can lift 50 lbs on your own and for you not to die while doing your job, and even then that's optional once you're in there. Plus, as long as you just show up to work, your pretty much assured to not get fired. It's also a great way to naturally lose weight, and especially during the summer. I'd say just go for it if you're interested or think you need the work that bad.

 

[Candlelight Desolation]

I went for my first bike ride in a while today, and I broke a sweat. I already do push-ups daily in four different sets, but whatever the bike ride did, it must have "worked" because I got this sudden burst of ambition around the time of the ride all of a sudden where I was thinking about starting to lift weights and also working two part time jobs at once where I'd have more sources of income at the same time. I hope the ambition stays for a while.

 

[Yamamura]

Today a family member put me in touch with a close acquaintance who was selling their car, a black Acura TSX. Phenomenal condition for what it is and comes in stick shift with leather seats. I have to admit I'm pretty happy right now.

 

[anustart76]

Today a family member put me in touch with a close acquaintance who was selling their car, a black Acura TSX. Phenomenal condition for what it is and comes in stick shift with leather seats. I have to admit I'm pretty happy right now.

That's a really fun car to drive.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Death follows and mocks me yet again. I just got the call from my mom my uncle died. The old one who was married to my aunt who died almost 3 years ago....well...I guess 3 years of old age alone and the old fella couldn't take it anymore. He went to be with the wife he had spent his whole life with.


But why? Why does the shadow of mortality hang over me mocking me?I can't even cling to the idea of my deceased uncle seeing his dead wife again. Every day that passes onto every year I wonder more and more if such a thing is even remotely possible.

I mean I'm sorry about your loss and everything but please don't ever type like a 2000s LiveJournal poster ever again.

 

[Smar Mijou]

Lately I have been thinking about a fantasy I had in high school were I just save up a few thousand bucks, pack a hiking kit with everything I'd need for living outdoors, and just leaving everything to walk along the interstate. I'm a single guy that has very little financial responsibilities, so I wouldn't really be abandoning anything more than my parents and job. I'd miss my folks, but could care less about the job cause I hate it anyway. Don't have any experience with camping, but I am relatively fit due to what I do for work. Could probably end up dead, but something in the back of my head feels the desire to just go. I'm sure this fantasy is way more common than I believe it is, but I just wanted to share with fellow retards on the internet.

Wanderlust is a very real thing. And sometimes the urge to just pack up and GO SOMEWHERE is irresistible. If I were you and you truly don't have any major responsibilities, I would encourage you to do it. Start with small steps at first, to make sure that its what you want, like a week-long camping/hiking trip. Don't be stupid like Chris McCandless and all of the wannabe bohemian autists who idolize him and set out unprepared, only to die alone of starvation in the wilderness. Inform a few people who are important to you of what you're doing, and make sure that you're as well prepared as you can be for whatever comes up. Despite everything you think now, nobody wants to end up cold and alone, starving to death in an abandoned bus in the wilderness.

As for me, I continue to periodically remind myself to disconnect from everyday life and "touch grass". To me, there's nothing better than going for a brisk walk in the woods at twilight away from the hassle and stress of everyday life to refresh yourself and remind you of the important things in life that really matter.... and then I get back on here a few days later to discover my very first schizo post on my profile page. Such is life!

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

More disillusioned than usual over my job, society in general. It all comes down to the money and a childish sense of "not fair!"

Not "ohhhh i hate bajilliomares they should give Me and All The Blacks a bajimillon that'd be Fair!"

It's just that begging (regardless of your level of desperation) is such a good strategy, at least here.

Very very few shelter homeless just end up signing a lease without some sort of program involved. That taxes usually pay for. They don't change as people. They just wait for their name to come up on the Section 8 list and become housed meth-using drug dealers rather than homeless meth-used drug dealers.

It's this whole worldview, this lifestyle of "I deserve things. If I get good things good." The concept of education doesn't exist. The concept of even consequences don't exist. If you touch a hot stove and it burns you, fuck stoves they're evil. The actual concept of work, as in you must labor in order to recieve compensation, doesn't really exist. Work is something you avoid and only do if you've somehow forced to do it to get the big shinies or gibs you want, and the goal is to reduce the amount of labor as much as possible. Because you just deserve the paycheck because you exist.

It's an incredibly successful strategy, and those people even seem happier than me. They smoke and drink and eat snacks all day, consoom without thought, even when they get sick they don't worry about it, they just go to the ER over and over and never acknowledge the bills. They fuck like rabbits, they buy tons of treats and toys, and have few responsibilities- grandma or the state get the kids obviously. They don't care about laws, they don't pay taxes or insurance.... they just exist. Like beasts. And it works.

It's just all in my face because of my jobs. Is it a blessing to be able to think about this stuff, to have some awareness? Honestly I wouldn't say so. But I actually like my job a lot, and I like working with the individual clients, even the methheads who spit on me.

It's so lame to hate people or be antisocial. I don't want to be that guy. But the stress builds every month. I want to be around non-crackheads sometimes. I want to be around people who have attention spans sometimes.

I drove past a medical tech research place and wondered if I picked the wrong career. I'm a natural at what I do, but damn what a shitty field.

 

[Apochrypha]

Threw my back out at work this week but didn't know that that's what I had done and went to the ER because the back pain was insane and it freaked me out- I could barely sit up or move to do anything and had been up all night from the pain. I'm way too young to be throwing my back out and shit, what the fuck man. I'm glad I went though because at least now I know what happened. At first I thought it was kidney pain and I'm glad it wasn't. They prescribed some painkillers, really heavy stuff too. I'm a bit hesitant to take them. It surprises me how easy it is to get opiates in the US...

Other than that mess I'm doing pretty well. The pain is starting to fade and I'll be back to work tomorrow, same as usual. I'm gonna take it easy though.

 

[Shidoen]

I feel stronger already, i've been running 1.5 miles at least 5 times a week and my goal is to be able to not take a single break and then move up to 3 miles without taking a break, I went from benching 15 on each side to 30 pounds. I feel better but i'm still fat.

 

[Triple Flutz]

My happy baby who literally would only cry when getting hurt turned into the most malcontent curmudgeon ever overnight a bit after turning 1 and is now velcroed onto me constantly lest the screaming begin. Have to break out the structured carrier I hadn't used since my first to get anything done around the house which is taxing on my back, and it's been like a month of this. I'm not a first time parent so I'm well aware that everything is a season in parenthood and as soon as I think this is getting to be too much, we'll be onto the next phase, but man is it a trip to go from the most easygoing kid ever to the terrible threes, two years in advance, and without being able to use any of the tactics I've used with my older kids during the tantrum years because baby.

On the plus side, we unexpectedly got a very large refund and are now planning several really nice quality of life upgrades, some work around the house that's probably overdue but largely cosmetic, and we'll still have a nice leftover sum to stick somewhere or invest. Nothing life-changing, but it's money we had already counted as outgoing so it's a nice surprise.

 

[McMitch]

I’ve got a friend moving out of the country soon, and I told her that it was “a damn shame I couldn’t have been more than a friend.” Part of me thinks I could have too, if I had spent more time with her; which ties into my feeling that I’ve needlessly squandered so much time since moving back home. There’s been a lot of people leaving my life since covid started, either through personal decisions or death. It’s a sad time, and I don’t feel like I have the means to remedy it, since the last time I was in a situation like this I moved half a continent away.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Get over yourself.

People die around everyone, every day, everywhere.

From the way you write, you're not even affected by losing this relative, you're not mourning; you're just making it about you on sneed dot today like oh why does the universe vex me so

I mean I'm sorry about your loss and everything but please don't ever type like a 2000s LiveJournal poster ever again.

You fellas are right. My bad it wasn't just what I said. Other personal issues had me in a messed up mood when I wrote that. I can't take back what I'll said but I'll try and dial back on angsty whinging.



Edit to avoid double post.

Got saved by a pastor this afternoon. Felt...happy and satisfied after I did.

 

[Catman from cat town]

I experienced SSRI withdraw last night. I was in between refilling it but missed two days because I couldn’t make it to the pharmacy. I thought it won’t be that bad, just mental stuff like brain fog or my anxiety getting worse, but no, I started to feel like I had the flu. I’m glad I’m trying to taper off the stuff.

 

[Catler]

Every time I try to make things better, I somehow end up making them worse. I have the "anti-midas touch" and I have my whole life. I have seriously started to consider when it's time for one to accept their lot and give up.

Diminishing returns are one thing, but it's worse when there never were returns to begin with. I'm tired, frustrated, and demoralized Kiwis.

 

[The Feline Solution]

I got back to smoking cigarettes for the last two months like the stupid fuck that i am and wondered why my money is running out faster than it used to. Switched over to vaping about five years ago but my country decided to tax the shit out of liquid this year, putting the producer i bought from out of business, making lots of other liquids very scarce and more than doubling the price of liquids in general. Getting a packet with new liquid in the mail today, i swear i can already feel how bad cigarrettes affect my health again.

I'm also waiting on a packet for the missus that should've been here days ago and i'm starting to think the seller is trying to pull a fast one on me. I'm not above getting a train ticket and beating some cunts shit in in some west german village, so i'll have to see how that goes.

I almost had a migraine

Shit sucks, i get them a couple of times a year and when i don't have my pills on hand it turns into a three day ordeal where i can pretty much do nothing besides sitting in a darkened room and curse God.

Doing pretty good. Been able to get myself down to a bottle and a half of vodka per day. But now I feel the edge.

View attachment 5204821

Good on you for cutting down on the drink, that amount was where i called it quits for myself. If you got a source i unironically recommend trying out Speed (Amphetamine sulfate, not Meth), i quit drinking virtually over night when i switched to that and i can drink the odd beer here and there now without it turning into a three-day bender, shit's magic. Speed is also a lot easier to handle than drink when it comes to addiction, i'm two weeks in on a tolerance break, planning on going the whole month without, and apart from being mildly irritated the first two days it's a cakewalk, and i'm a heavy user. When i was still heavily drinking i couldn't go a day without, for comparison. YMMV and i don't want to glorify Speed too much because having a habit is still shit but for me it was life changing, in a positive way.

 

[Omen_Sulk]

Speed is also a lot easier to handle than drink when it comes to addiction, i'm two weeks in on a tolerance break, planning on going the whole month without, and apart from being mildly irritated the first two days it's a cakewalk, and i'm a heavy user. When i was still heavily drinking i couldn't go a day without, for comparison. YMMV and i don't want to glorify Speed too much because having a habit is still shit but for me it was life changing, in a positive way.

It's more about maintaining functionality. Xanax, Valium is regulated. But alcohol is everywhere. I'm literally self-medicating to maintain a functional state. Due to various past experiences, my mental state is shot. I need to ingest things to keep myself calm and functional.

It may kill me in the end sure. But I just want to remain functional for my family for as long as possible.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Woke up on time at 5 because alarm clock has backup batteries. Major fire in a 3 unit building down the street also cut power/cable/network in most of town. Some parts of town are restored per facebook but power company is telling me 2pm now. Building looks to be a loss, but everyone got out ok. Apparently one of the oldest buildings in a town going back to colonial times

 

[Nick Obre]

You fellas are right. My bad it wasn't just what I said. Other personal issues had me in a messed up mood when I wrote that. I can't take back what I'll said but I'll try and dial back on angsty whinging.



Edit to avoid double post.

Got saved by a pastor this afternoon. Felt...happy and satisfied after I did.

Sorry for being rude.

But what you said reminded me of someone I know who, whenever a tragedy happens, defaults to make it about herself, about how the tragedy affects her, rather than mourning the person/feeling bad for (or helping, even) the people directly affected.

And like clockwork, it happened again just now.

A cousin of hers just found out he may have stomach cancer. She called me in tears, not about him and his plight, but about how she's gonna be the last of her generation of relatives. For one, it's not even true, she's got a bunch of other relatives from that generation and even some older ones. For another, she's already counting the cousin as dead. He may not even have cancer. If he does, I know stomach cancer is harsh, but depending on how far along it is and the treatment he will receive, he may be alive and well for a good long while yet.

And irrespective of all that, she doesn't care about him, not as her emotional priority anyway, she cares that she's gonna lose one of the people she can talk at.

So you struck a nerve, and I'm sorry for being harsh and maybe reading more into it than I should.
But, and I say this as a general bit of life advice for anyone still reading, things that happen to other people aren't about you, and if your perspective is that they are or if you try to make them about you, that's a fast track to everyone wanting nothing to do with you.

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

I'm now on Day 33 of Semen Retention. Looking forward to phenomena happening like this

"Last year I was on the biggest streak of my life, and I experienced several synchronicities that could be attributed to a heightened but very subtle form of intuition. Just to name a few:

1 some close friends ask in a WhatsApp group what ever happened to a certain teacher who used to coach us in the volleyball club we belonged to in high school. I don't know why, but as a joke I tell them that friend X went to a party with him (something clearly absurd). Minutes later this same friend sends a photo taken that same day of him with the now older teacher. It turns out that he met him by chance during a social event.

2 my girlfriend's grandmother, who was widowed a few years ago, invites us to a family lunch, her new boyfriend would also be there. Again, I don't know why, but before we arrived I commented that he would take advantage of the situation to surprise her and give her an engagement ring, and who'd have thought; that happened exactly. Now not only I realized the synchronicity, but all the women in the family went crazy asking me how I knew, or if he had already told me beforehand etc lol. It felt like I had subconsciously recognized certain patterns. But I don't know for sure, I have no idea how to explain it."

source: https://boards.4channel.org/x/thread/35275505#p35280837

archived: https://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/35275505/#35280837

 

[Bloitzhole]

Every time I try to make things better, I somehow end up making them worse. I have the "anti-midas touch" and I have my whole life. I have seriously started to consider when it's time for one to accept their lot and give up.

Diminishing returns are one thing, but it's worse when there never were returns to begin with. I'm tired, frustrated, and demoralized Kiwis.

Can you elaborate with an example? Sometimes we put ourselves into situations trying to help even though those situations are not salvageable - and when they inevitably go wrong, not because of our participation, not in spite of our participation, but in truth regardless of our participation, we attribute blame to ourselves nonetheless.