How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

Bit down today, if I have to be honest. Probably will rest up this afternoon.

 

[Yamamura]

Still on vacation, but got horribly sick near the end. I took more than the recommended dose of cold & flu medicine within 24 hours and now I can't smell or taste anything so that's a bit worrying. At least I can breathe without my nose being stuffy so I got that going for me.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I'm in post-spay hell trying to calm a rambunctious puppy down. She's done the following since yesterday: full speed zoomies, the most graceful jumps I've ever seen a dog do, fuck you nipping, more zoomies after a novox, burst of destructive energy that almost cost me a Christmas card.

First two days were pretty chill. Spent most of it playing Digimon World while the hellhound was sleeping nearby. Day 3 and Cerberus comes out. It's day 4. I can't even stop the madness with carrots or chews unless I give them to her in a specific room.

There's yak cheese flakes in that room now. Send help!

 

[innocent jogger]

We went to meet the nihilist kidnappers to hand off the million clams, only I brought a ringer along to give them instead. It was filled with my dirty undies. Laundry. The whites!

It went pretty well. The Dude's car got a little banged up though.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I’ve never posted in this thread before, but I’m not sure where else to put this. It’s kinda heavy.
Yesterday I found out someone I know survived a very high profile mass school shooting. It was well over a decade ago. She still has two of his bullets in her body. She was in the ‘worst’ room and was one of only two survivors, and also where the killer shot himself when LE finally got there.
I didn’t find this out from her and she doesn’t know I know. You would never know this happened to her. I guess I just want to vent, because I can’t really tell anyone irl.

 

[UtadaWasabi2]

So I happened to log on kiwifarm after a while and if it just me but you guys seem to be more autisic than I remember back then. to be fair I think myself is becoming a bit more of spaz too.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Was about to cook and forgot to check if some things were still good, wasn't at home for close to six weeks. Now my asian dish has no ginger, of all things. I use that minced one out of a glass (Lee Kum Kee, best brand, tastes better than the mummified shit Lidl pawns off on suckers) and never had it getting moldy before, then again one glass usually gets used up a lot faster than six weeks. I'm a double retard for not checking because i went grocery shopping half an hour earlier.
Substituting with some indian ginger-garlic paste now but it's just not the same man, it's just not the same...

Apart from that i'm peachy, except for that crushing poverty thing that always looms in the near distance. Cut back on drugs to have more money, stopped smoking cigarettes in favour of vaping (again) but with the rampant price increases for every basic necessity it makes almost no difference. Paying fucking 80€/month for electricity now, in a 1-bedroom apartment, shit is beyond of a joke now. Gotta hit the Jobcenter soon for some extra, i hoped i left that shit behind me decades ago.
Situation is getting dire here, nothing in comparison to what italian relatives have told me, though, their situation makes mine almost look like paradise.

The interviewer was a black lady and her smoke detector chirped the entire time.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Bullfuckingshit

I had one of the worst days in my life, I almost broke-up with my girlfriend today, in her birthday. It was all my fault, and now we're in a very tough position, the most my relationship with her has ever been. I'm trying my best to try to fix everything that happened, but the damage is already done.

I just want to say that I wanted to die so badly today, I never felt a pain and guilt this big. I feel like utter shit and I will carry this on my conscience forever, I really fucked up, but we will carry this one and resist. We always do.

Nigga, you really could have picked a different day, i'd feel fucking guilty as well. Not to make you feel worse or anything, God knows i had more than a fair share of retarded moments in relationships that i regret to this day.

 

[thejackal2]

Been a pretty shitty week honestly. Got some news from my attorney that's gonna cost me more money. Been hitting bottle hard, like get up go to work but as soon as I get home I'm pounding a six pack and just hoping I feel good enough to fall asleep without running to the store for more.

Only thing really going decent is work, which is odd, but I'll take it. This time of year I always fall into a bit of rut as the days get darker. Just gotta make it to holiday season and then it gets better.

 

[Betonhaus]

The only reason why I'm doing an important but difficult task is to avoid an even more important and difficult task that's due tomorrow

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

This feels like im powerleveling, but it's a mental health thread so i guess it's fine.

I've been very depressed recently and i'm having a hard time adjusting to college. I'm having to do everything on my own and i am behind on all of my classes and i don't know what to do.

I can't think clearly, i can't write, and every day there are more and more things that i am behind on. And when i am trying to sit down and be productive i get a wave of anxiety, or i feel tired, or something. There's always something that happens and i can't get anything done

Right now it's 10:23 pm on a saturday and this would be time to relax but i'm so stressed because i didn't get a lot of work done. 2 hours is more than i usually do but it is still not a lot. And there are more deadlines that keep passing every day and i'm afraid of the future and i don't want to fail out of college but that fear is one of the things that keeps me from getting my work done

I am sorry you are struggling. Yes, I think 2 hours is not an excessive amount of time to spend studying. Can I ask - does that amount of time feel like a lot because you’re not used to it, because you don’t want to do it, or because focusing that long is hard…or something else?

Please go see a school academic counselor (or mental health counselor...or no, both).

Based on what you said it’s not possible to say that this or that is the issue. But I’d say a few things:

- tend to your mental health - meaning use the resources available at school
- if there are other things distracting you, internal or external, there may be useful stuff for you; don’t feel above it
- if this struggle with settling down and focusing is a longer-term thing, see a doc and talk about that.
- if what you do in your non-studying time is online or non-physical/non-in-person-social, consider that that might be adding to the struggle
- if planning or disciplining your use of time is difficult, check out your school resources

I could add a bunch of other “try this” stuff, but it sounds like you might need to do some preliminary work first to figure out why you’re stalling.

I have kids in college (and went to college and grad school myself, ages ago) and I worry about them constantly. It’s a slog, and if that’s not comfortable it can feel really overwhelming. But please if there are resources to try, do that. Deadlines are a part of life but you can work on both reducing anxiety from that and on learning techniques to slay them. Don’t suffer alone. You deserve to succeed.

 

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

Had a better afternoon/evening compared to yesterday, though that had its emotional downs.

Right now, I’m experimenting with different color schemes and techniques, I find it enjoyable.

 

[dfsdsfdsadsa]

(snipped from long message)

So it turns out I'm withdrawing from college and I'm starting again in January or in the fall.

I'm feeling a mix of a lot of emotions. Sad, relieved, uncertain, in shock, still processing. Tired but no longer overwhelmed.

And now i have some time to work on things and figure out my mental health, how to work and study, and I'll probably get a job during that time... i still don't know what is going to happen because this is not what I had planned but I guess i'll be taking an unexpected gap year.

 

[cybertoaster]

I got sunstroke and my back is killing me again.

Not great not terrible...

 

[dfsdsfdsadsa]

stuff that probably took a while to write

thank you for the reply. my situation has changed but i will still reply to this.

- the 2 hours is more than i usually do for a lot of weird reasons, usually i have a hard time getting started on work or it's too hard and i don't know what to do so i tend to avoid it.
- i've been talking to counselors and i saw a MH counselor today but the thing we scheduled will change now that I'm not there. Instead I can talk to psych people near my parents' house

if what you do in your non-studying time is online or non-physical/non-in-person-social, consider that that might be adding to the struggle

i usually talk to online friends and i dont have a lot of real life interactions because i don't have time between classes and studying, but once i get my shit together that is going to change

I could add a bunch of other “try this” stuff, but it sounds like you might need to do some preliminary work first to figure out why you’re stalling.

i understand, and that's what i want to do during this time away from college. I need to figure out what the problem is and what to do about it. And in my case that starts with my mental health but i also need to learn to be more disiplined and to be able to study effectively

 

[Betonhaus]

- the 2 hours is more than i usually do for a lot of weird reasons, usually i have a hard time getting started on work or it's too hard and i don't know what to do so i tend to avoid it.

have you been checked for ADHD? it's all the rage these days

 

[dfsdsfdsadsa]

have you been checked for ADHD? it's all the rage these days

yeah, i thought i mentioned that but i guess i didn't

adhd and the big umbrella of depression/anxiety/stress tend to compound and make each other worse

but im thinking of getting a short term medicine for adhd instead of the kind that lasts all day

 

[The Feline Solution]

yeah, i thought i mentioned that but i guess i didn't

adhd and the big umbrella of depression/anxiety/stress tend to compound and make each other worse

but im thinking of getting a short term medicine for adhd instead of the kind that lasts all day

I fixed myself via railing Speed. I wasted 20 years in the fucking health care system in my country, in institutions and with so many different doctors i lost count, on every zogpill (except, of course, Wellbutrin, which would've fixed me because it's an amphetamine) in the book at one time or another with slim to no improvement. Started doing Speed close to four years ago and i'm, what i would call, normal. No depression, no intrusive thoughts, and, most importantly, it completly killed my appetite for alcohol, with which i was struggling big time. Works even when i am not activly using, albeit i do need to use. It's also a pretty good buzz.

have you been checked for ADHD? it's all the rage these days

I highly suspect i got adult ADD or ADHD, fuck getting a diagnosis though, it takes around three years here and i am not wasting more time in the healthcare system. They operate on the "If you didn't get diagnosed as a kid you don't have it" principle here, too bad that when i was a kid the usual treatment for ADHD behaviour was beatings. Not to mention i completly lost my trust in psychiatric care, with all the bogus diagnoses and "treatment" i've gotten in the past. You'd think one doctor would be like "This nigga is still fucked up after all this time, maybe we should try something different now" but no.

 

[Betonhaus]

I have to do a mock interview today. this is so stupid I can barely fake enthusiasm if my life depended on it. I so wish I could get a job with a connection or by being the only free guy in a small town or have the entire hiring process handled by a computer that was more interested in my actual competence then my ability to lie about it.

 

[Betonhaus]

I got a vertical line on my phone screen now. And it isn't a cheap phone, and it's the main folding screen so it isn't cheap to replace. I'll check with my carrier if it's under warranty but I doubt it. I'll probably get used to it or get used to using the outer screen more.

 

[Nick Obre]

I got a vertical line on my phone screen now. And it isn't a cheap phone, and it's the main folding screen so it isn't cheap to replace. I'll check with my carrier if it's under warranty but I doubt it. I'll probably get used to it or get used to using the outer screen more.

It's what you get from buying a folding phone, you muffin. What did you expect?