How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[hog cranking frog]

Should be better considering my material circumstances. Meditating, working, and reading the Bible, by the ocean. Have a family member staying with us, they are middle aged, should know better, spent the better part of the last decade calling me autistic anytime I stuck to my convictions, anytime I was disciplined. It was easy to let roll off my shoulders back then, these are the lashings out of an immature person.

Now this same person is claiming every little preference or quirk is evidence they have autism (a proper diagnosis costs too much so they cant get one...) Oh ya and also I do and everyone else we know by this person's diagnosis.

It's nice to be by the beach but I'm having to get up and leave out of sheer rage. I shouldn't feel this way yet I do. I'm so angry that the cry bullies are making yet more things about them. I have too much anger in my heart about this.

Wasn't raised religious and only the last couple years started reading and taking theology seriously. Anyone have any favorite passages or verses to look up and meditate on?

 

[Betonhaus]

Still applying for jobs but there's not a lot right now for machinists. Trying for other work but no responses or anything.

 

[Berserker Armor]

I don’t really like talking about personal stuff here but I have nowhere to really turn and I wrote a long ass thing then deleted it because I’m kinda scared to even say this:
having a chronic illness (and genetic illness) at a young age is so fucking shit. I’m in my mid twenties and it’s taken my life away. I am very very depressed lmao

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope your friend makes it out okay and soon.

Dog was nearly completely paralyzed and in continuous pain. My mum had the dog put down at the pet hospital because she didn't want the dog to go through more agony.
She has been devastated the whole night so far, she was one of her favorite dogs. Brought the body home and just buried the dog in the backyard.


Goodbye Molly the Dachshund, Hopefully you'll be reunited with your old dog companion Maggie who we've lost to cancer over a year ago in the afterlife.

 

[Just a boring name]

Dog was nearly completely paralyzed and in continuous pain. My mum had the dog put down at the pet hospital because she didn't want the dog to go through more agony.
She has been devastated the whole night so far, she was one of her favorite dogs. Brought the body home and just buried the dog in the backyard.


Goodbye Molly the Dachshund, Hopefully you'll be reunited with your old dog companion Maggie who we've lost to cancer over a year ago in the afterlife.

Rest Well, Dear Molly.


As for the Cunting Vets that wouldn't help you....There is a huge difference between the vets who love animals and the vets who love money.

Sending you and your mum lots of love.

 

[Snack Cracker]

I dealt with multiple unmedicated schizophrenics yesterday, and it was weird and touching.

A guy who feeds birds in the parking lots and when they start fighting over the food, he prays and asks God to cover them with light, the birds stop fighting and are happy as can be.
That’s weirdly touching.

Also there was a guy that talked to me at length about escaping the Liberian civil war, and how schizophrenia can absolutely be cured through faith healers and other mental illnesses because they’re demonic possession.
Plus diabetes can be cured through faith healing apparently.
That was weird because he’s still schizophrenic, got cut off by all family, lives in a group home, but he’s convinced he’s not schizo anymore and that’s affecting his ability to succeed in life.

Schizophrenia is the cruelest mental illness and I wish there are better treatments than anti psychotics that cause a laundry list of side effects.

Dealing with them though was great for mental health, that and helping people in need.

 

[isalaide]

I am sorry to disappoint @Party Hat Wurmple but my lady trouble is neither twins, triplets nor cancer. My trouble is a big, fuck off cyst. Looks mixed type apparently; looks mostly fluid but there are 'solid looking areas.' (Maybe it is a cool one with teeth.)

By the magic of private healthcare I will be getting a surgical removal since consultant wants to do pathology on it "to be sure" but mainly because it is obviously giving me trouble.

Awaiting date but should be about a month, so after planned family/extended family/friends holiday. We go round about this time to rented villas with parents in law, their besties, their besties' son and daughter in law (who are our friends) and their kids (who are friends with our kids). There are plenty of other adults around to do kid-shepherding and it's not a long flight home if need be, so consultant is happy for me to go. I am going because I don't see any need to cancel the family holiday so that I can stay home and look at the walls. It's not like I'm actually sick.

It was helpfully confirmed separately that no swimmers are swimming any longer, so it was never going to be surprise baby. Despite this being exactly what was planned, I have noticed I seem to lowkey feel some type of way about this. It's probably hormonal disturbance. (It is not. I am brooding. I would have had ALL the babies if I was allowed.)

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

It was helpfully confirmed separately that no swimmers are swimming any longer, so it was never going to be surprise baby. Despite this being exactly what was planned, I have noticed I seem to lowkey feel some type of way about this. It's probably hormonal disturbance. (It is not. I am brooding. I would have had ALL the babies if I was allowed.)

Well...I mean yeah, I'd be brooding too. Pretty sure I'd rather have twins than a cyst. That's horrible. And sobering. And not nearly as funny

 

[Burning Bridge]

Weighed in yesterday, lost 35 lbs in 5 months, no loss in lean muscle mass. A year ago I stopped all my medications, and I've cut out most of the garbage food, too. I feel better than I ever have, which is an incredibly low bar to clear since I started suicidal ideation at 15 and never stopped. I turned 30 a couple months ago. It's an odd feeling, not wanting to die literally every second, not having an hero scenarios constantly running in the back of your mind. Sometimes I fall into it just because it's a mental rut.

 

[bile demon]

all this nasty evil irredeemable bullshit projected onto me for no reason

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Made it to interview round 3 and legit have no idea how it went. I'm gonna live life assuming I'm staying at my current job though.

 

[anustart76]

Had a second round interview for a job today, and got a rejection a couple hours later. I seriously don't know what the hell I'm doing wrong.

 

[Nick Obre]

I am sorry to disappoint @Party Hat Wurmple but my lady trouble is neither twins, triplets nor cancer.

And thank fuck for that.

Congratulations on it being something at least manageable.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I feel pretty good but I can't get to bed on time. Every night.

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

how to un-ruin life ? How to sleep normally?? 3am reee

 

[Betonhaus]

Forgot to clean my cpap mask last night so i went without
and
I can definitely feel a difference.

I got a telephone job interview friday for the local branch of an ontario company which i hope goes well

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

Whelp, now that I've let Steam update and spent a solid hour browsing my library, I have decided that don't even want to play video games anyways. Glad to get that out of my system.

 

[Outer Space Traveller]

how to un-ruin life ? How to sleep normally?? 3am reee

If you find out the answer, be sure to let me know. I think it's something related to anxiety/worry.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

how to un-ruin life ?

I think it's something related to anxiety/worry.

I feel, at least for myself, that comfort allows for the mind to wander. So I push myself to alter routine or do something I was unsure of.
Optimally you find other people to physically talk to outside of home but I know we don't all have that option depending on surroundings or lack thereof, so hobbies that turn into a massive rabbit hole to chase are a good alternative.

EDIT: Books are great. Just saying.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Spent another few days with family. Mother got into print as the literal last class and basically chased relevancy til she just quit the field. Father is a smith welder type of sorts. He went from building boats and making custom bits to producing shit that could be bought cheaper from china, retiring at the perfect time to do so. We spoke earlier about professional pride and we just kinda realized all jobs are the same. Engineer? 80% computer work. Doctor? 80% documenting. Marketing? 95% computer and sheets. Wanna change field? Do a 2 year and then use different programs on your computer. Done deal.

Yet i know lots of zoomers who want to make pottery, leather, all kinds of things that'd let you buy a house and supply your immediate area with your goods. Oh to be the local potter. The guy who make all your shoes. The guy who went away, learned, and came home. A true calling. Now, we're literally exporting our industrial butchering of animals. There are no "X pigs". We let another country keep and farm them for us.

The future is grim.