How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Just checked my accounts and bills and realized i'm debt free again, everything is finally paid off. Feels good, man. Girlfriend still needs to pay off her laptop for the next two years but that's on her. Got 50-60€ more next month, might not seem much to many people but that's enough for me to get over the last week of the months without having to worry. Once again realizing why everyone wants to come to Germany, the gibs are insanely good.
 
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I am planning on getting good and drunk. Fucking kills me that people I have known and loved literally my entire life are so ready and willing to throw away our relationship with what seems like zero sense of regret, happy to do it in fact. They even knew my politics in the past and claimed they weren’t petty enough to abandon a friend, a family member over that. Stupid me for believing them. Christ I’m hurting bad tonight.
 
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Well, as I was trying to mend some broken family bridges from over a decade ago, they've unfortunately been burned again it would seem. My biological mother is absolutely insane, and an abusive piece of shit with a long history of violent outbursts, but I'm the bad guy for not wanting her around my son. This woman unironically believes that my grandmother from my dad's side, who has been dead for nearly SIX years now, is some sort of arch-puppetmaster responsible for every misfortune in her life. Even if she weren't on this level of delusion, I wouldn't allow her even the slightest chance to hurt him in any of the ways she hurt me.
 
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Got sick again. It started Monday night but reached a critical point this morning. Went to the hospital and doctor prescribed some meds and two days off work.
They gave me some IV meds and it made me no feel a bit better, but I'm still feeling like shit.
My immune system is going downhill since earlier this year. I've never been this sick so often.
 
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I hope all you in this thread are doing fine since the election and you haven't lost anyone significant to you over petty political squabble. Someone who isn't willing to look past such differences and at least remain on good terms is not someone worth putting your energy into; someone who you should value is an individual who can agree to disagree and accept your opinion and your right to one. Stick to your guns.
I am getting really sick and tired of people being offended for me and shaming children for staring. Children who aren't exposed to the realities of other people's misfortune are bound to stare at those things that are unusual to them; if your child hasn't been around a whole lot of people who've lost their limbs, they're bound to ask you, their parent, why that man is walking funny or why one of his pant legs is loose while he uses crutches. My nieces and nephews don't stare because they've become comfortable, despite being quite young, with the fact I've lost my leg and remain with permanent injury to my torso and other leg, all through a still very traumatic ordeal that they don't fully understand and I don't go into details about. It's important for children to, at a certain point, begin to understand that very unfortunate things can happen to people that leave them with permanent consequences; the oldest understand that I didn't actually lose my leg because I didn't listen to my parents or do my chores or that the monsters under the bed stole it, but that I am a disabled war veteran. They know my leg doesn't actually magically grow back, but that it's a metal prosthetic that I can put on or take off. I've told embarrassed mothers on many occasions that I am far from offended or angry because their young child is staring at me or making "rude" comments, because I understand that they're sheltered from the sort of things that I've experienced (to some degree, as they should be) and they're simply confused. They're children. They shouldn't be shamed or scolded for not quite understanding the things that are never explained to them.
God forbid that these children ever experience what I and my fellow men have, but they need to know lest they get ideas of repeating it to themselves as uneducated adults. Children need to know that I'm not "unfortunate" or that it's "rude" to stare at me or an equally disabled man; they need to know why we are like this.
I've gotten much more shit by apparently tolerant adults than I have by children. And those adults know what they're doing when they call a man torn apart by PTSD a murderer or colonizer or say that he deserved it.
I've been told that I deserve my disability, but I refuse to be bitter. I refuse to say I hope you live through what I lived through, because I hope no one ever does, and such things never happen to anyone again. They will. But I can hope.
 
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I'm doing okay, all things considered, but i suffer from a feeling of dread, and a feeling of anger/frustration because of the things happening in my country.
I don't think i have to explain the current problems in Europe right now, and basically it's been eating away at me a little.
 
I wrote what I thought was a very nice post on the social meeds essentially coming out as right-leaning and reassuring people that I respect our differences and the apocalypse isn’t coming. I got some support from a few amazing friends but man oh man is everyone else mad. I am confident in my beliefs and I don’t regret sticking my neck out to embolden others. But it sucks that the people most upset are my own family.
 
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boards of canada said:
I hope all you in this thread are doing fine since the election and you haven't lost anyone significant to you over petty political squabble. Someone who isn't willing to look past such differences and at least remain on good terms is not someone worth putting your energy into; someone who you should value is an individual who can agree to disagree and accept your opinion and your right to one. Stick to your guns.
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Genuinely man, no matter how fucking cliche and shit this sounds thank you for your service. I hope you can find peace with the fucked up shit you've dealt with and I believe you'll pull on through. Not a lot of fucking people go through awful shit like war and make it out.

If I knew ya IRL I'd buy you a beer RN bro

Fuck petty gay political crap, if someone is willing to cut you off that easily over stupid bullshit they aren't worth being around to begin with I suppose
 
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