How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Manwithamask2]

5 days out of 7 factory work. Weekends are for beer, games and shit posting. Should feel good but it does not. Not that i want to change the world. but i would like something more than the same old routine.

 

[Stan]

I keep having fucked up dreams where Granddad is still alive and I’m dying. I wake up in a cold sweat often. Memento morí.

No paid vacation. Paid per hour worked. However, I do have enough money put by that I could take a little time off. Might be a good compromise idea. Though I almost feel the closure of being done with it would be worth it.

It's the weekend, I'll think it over before doing anything rash. But it's a good suggestion. The sad thing is that I was quite enthusiastic about the work and bringing a lot to the job. Now I feel I'm being punished for that enthusiasm.

Do you get paid federal holidays?
I know what it feels like to feel punished for one’s zeal. My heart bleeds for you fren

 

[Johan Schmidt]

I made my sister and her boyfriend dinner tonight - nice to see them again - and burnt my tongue tasting the custard. Now I have a little blister on there, super small but because it's on the tongue it's super annoying.
Bad things happen to good people lads.

 

[AnOminous]

I may quit - I wont be the first. I wonder if I actually dare sign my resignation letter (if I do this) 'Harrison Bergeron' ?

It's probably not going to get better. Once things become this diseased, it never does.

 

[Betonhaus]

No paid vacation. Paid per hour worked. However, I do have enough money put by that I could take a little time off. Might be a good compromise idea. Though I almost feel the closure of being done with it would be worth it.

It's the weekend, I'll think it over before doing anything rash. But it's a good suggestion. The sad thing is that I was quite enthusiastic about the work and bringing a lot to the job. Now I feel I'm being punished for that enthusiasm.

Maybe now's the chance to use your skillset to start your own company?

 

[Wally Paulnuts]

Addendum to my day: new manager of 2 weeks at my local slop shop suddenly had a major shitfit over trivial nonsense and ragequit twice in one shift. I'm extremely upset I wasn't in the store for his second tantrum because the man genuinely looked like nick mullen if he spent 90 days power bottoming at San Francisco County Jail, rocking a pair of sailor moon socks to boot, and I wanted nothing more than to lay into him verbally for his faggotry.

 

[anustart76]

They're trying to Harrison Bergeron me at work. It's bizarre but they've said, outright, that my knowing 'all the answers' / the best way to do everything, is hindering the development of junior people on the project. Only they've decided not to use the term junior anymore. I asked how I'm supposed to distinguish between people who have just started and those who have lots of expertise and told I shouldn't need to distinguish between them. In any case, I have been explicitly told that they would prefer I sit there through a meeting and not give answers / proposals so that other people can have an opportunity to 'work it out for themselves'.

I may quit - I wont be the first. I wonder if I actually dare sign my resignation letter (if I do this) 'Harrison Bergeron' ?

I think it's time to go job-hunting or start your own business if you're able to.

 

[goreconnoisseur420]

stepdad (who raised me) strangled his ex-gf a few months ago and the court proceedings are taking forever because he’s an arrogant piece of shit who thinks he can represent himself. honestly… i’m just glad he can’t afford his hefty bond. i was praying, or maybe not praying because i don’t fancy myself a religious person, but i was really deeply wishing for something to happen to get him out of my life, for a long time. months and months i spent wishing for him to be arrested or worse, killed. he’s made my life a living hell for literally as long as i can remember. i just wanted him gone. and now… he is. but i can’t bring myself to feel… ANYTHING about it. i just feel empty. and i can’t even fucking talk to anyone about it because it’s so personal and uncomfortable. it doesn’t even feel real. i’m not surprised he killed her, he’s always had a mean streak. in fact, she was declared missing days before the body was found, and as soon as i heard, i KNEW she was dead. they found her body out at a farm i spent time at as a child. with her leggings around her neck, under a tarp. i used to feed chickens out at that farm. it was such a beautiful place… and it’s now forever tainted by what that piece of shit did. i hate him. so much.

 

[Overly Serious]

stepdad (who raised me) strangled his ex-gf a few months ago and the court proceedings are taking forever because he’s an arrogant piece of shit who thinks he can represent himself. honestly… i’m just glad he can’t afford his hefty bond. i was praying, or maybe not praying because i don’t fancy myself a religious person, but i was really deeply wishing for something to happen to get him out of my life, for a long time. months and months i spent wishing for him to be arrested or worse, killed. he’s made my life a living hell for literally as long as i can remember. i just wanted him gone. and now… he is. but i can’t bring myself to feel… ANYTHING about it. i just feel empty. and i can’t even fucking talk to anyone about it because it’s so personal and uncomfortable. it doesn’t even feel real. i’m not surprised he killed her, he’s always had a mean streak. in fact, she was declared missing days before the body was found, and as soon as i heard, i KNEW she was dead. they found her body out at a farm i spent time at as a child. with her leggings around her neck, under a tarp. i used to feed chickens out at that farm. it was such a beautiful place… and it’s now forever tainted by what that piece of shit did. i hate him. so much.

A level of disassociation with something as terrible as that is not surprising. You may find it hits you in stages and sporadically. One of the oddest and maybe even harmful things people do in situations like this, is try to conform how they feel to how they think they're expected to feel, and to question if there's something wrong with them if they don't feel how media and culture has led them to think they should.

There isn't some single right way to feel / react to something like this. And if, as it sounds, you don't necessarily know the victim super-well and she isn't a routine part of your life, there aren't necessarily the triggers which set you off day to day like if you lost your own partner and every time you wanted to ask something suddenly it hit you she wasn't there to ask... you would likely find yourself reacting differently.

We're complex amalgams of states. If you've been partly raised by this guy and still manage to be a decent human being who behaves in a good way, then you've done something good for yourself and others and are to be commended. To be who you choose to be rather than a reflection of the bad people you're exposed to, is a real challenge in life.

I feel for what you've been through. It's awful. Not just this event but the presence in your life that led up to it.

Poor woman.

 

[*distant thrum*]

I've been living out of my car for a bit and it's been ok, I've managed to maintain my normal routine pretty well all things considered. However the weather's turning and it's predicted to be the worst winter we've had in years and to be honest I'm feeling kinda doomer-y, it's a crushing sort of despair in the middle of the night when I can see my breath but can't really see the light at the end of everything. But then in the morning I just gotta pull my boots on and get to work like any other day, life shakes out weird sometimes.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

grrrr uti woke me up at 3 am and i can't immediately call the doctor because it is still now 5 am

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I woke up early with my knee in horrible pain. Went back to sleep for a few more hours and it was fine minus a slight ache. Not sure what's going on. My diet is very healthy and I get plenty of exercise thanks to the hellhound. Probably overdid it with tug of war the past few days.

You'd think my arms would be sore, but no.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

Just started my paid leave; 20 days of not working, will take this time to check on my health and do some spring cleaning. It has been 2 years since I got a break, I deserve it.
Hope you kiwis are doing fine. If not, better days will come

 

[Betonhaus]

I think i', going to give up on trying to keep up with the Israel-Palestine war thread. every time i look it 10 pages have been added to it

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I had one of the worst days in my life, I almost broke-up with my girlfriend today, in her birthday. It was all my fault, and now we're in a very tough position, the most my relationship with her has ever been. I'm trying my best to try to fix everything that happened, but the damage is already done.

I just want to say that I wanted to die so badly today, I never felt a pain and guilt this big. I feel like utter shit and I will carry this on my conscience forever, I really fucked up, but we will carry this one and resist. We always do.

 

[Anonitolia]

Another of my old friends turned out to be a raging leftist and spent an hour detailing to me how race is a social construct and racism + sexism only exist to keep capitalism alive. Quoted Malcom X of all people during it.

I'm glad I got to see his perspective but I'm also wondering how on earth he not only got that perspective, but believes in it so enthusiastically that he felt it was one of the first things he should tell me about aside from his recent admittance to a pretty decent college.

Pretty sure that college bit answers my question- and if so, he might end up growing out of it or otherwise questioning it over time- but I'm just surprised because he used to be one of the least political people in the group and now he's so heavy into this stuff that it's quite the whiplash.

still, it's very bizarre. So hard to recognize a fair few people despite it only having been a few years now.

 

[keytar]

Spoiler: srs for once

The Israel-Palestine thing is honestly depressing. People I care about are out there and regardless of how I feel about the different parties involved, a load of innocent people getting abused and killed is pretty horrible. I don't see it getting better quickly but I hope it does all the same.

 

[Carnavoyeur]

I had a kid (assuming 18-20, this is her second job) start today at work and she had a full-blown panic attack about half an hour into our shift. I sat with her and held her hand while she cried and talked with her til she calmed down. I really related with her, the things she's going through in her personal life as well as starting a new job are similar to what I've been through. I sent her home early with some water and candy and told her we'll see how she does during her next shift. As she was leaving she said "(My boss) said you're a really good person and she was right." I've been super emotional all day since then. I felt like I was just awkward as hell and, running on like an hour of sleep last night, making no sense while I was talking to her and just sounding like an idiot. But I kinda just tried to be what I would have liked a coworker or manager to be like back when I started and was anxious as hell, or when I had been working for a while but going through serious personal problems that affected me at work. I didn't want to have my hand held every day, but some understanding and patience just once would have been nice instead of being yelled at, insulted and having my job threatened if I didn't just cram my emotions down and pretend like everything is hunky dory.

 

[Larry Potterfield]

I went hunting with a friend I promised to teach and she's without a doubt a better shot than me lol. I kinda feel like shit for leaving my SIL to help watch the kids, but it's my only chance and everyone pushed me to go. Got a shit ton of grouse and caught a couple walleye.

I had a kid (assuming 18-20, this is her second job) start today at work and she had a full-blown panic attack about half an hour into our shift. I sat with her and held her hand while she cried and talked with her til she calmed down

Respect for that. I used to get so much shit from the lifers at work for not treating the apprentices like shit and letting them make mistakes. People wonder why we can't get any workers in our field when the old farts chase out anyone who's not a crippling alcoholic that can barely stand up.

 

[Carnavoyeur]

Respect for that. I used to get so much shit from the lifers at work for not treating the apprentices like shit and letting them make mistakes. People wonder why we can't get any workers in our field when the old farts chase out anyone who's not a crippling alcoholic that can barely stand up.

During my first week on the job I went to help a customer that was standing at an empty register, and one of the ladies who had been there for like 20 years came storming over and practically shoved me away and said "I'll ring her up". I go "Okay, I was just gonna help her..." and she cuts me off and says "I don't need your help." Immediately starts chatting with the customer and going through the usual spiel about her store card and whatnot like I wasn't even there. I was a terrified, anxiety-ridden 18 year old with no social skills and no self-esteem at my first job, and it cut me like a fucking knife. I went and cried in a stockroom, called out the next day, and wept to my mother that I couldn't do it and I don't want to work there anymore. I'm still there over a decade later while that bitch was forced into early retirement because eventual corporate changes didn't let her have her old cushy position where she never had to close (at the expense of all the 18 year olds like me who had to close every day), only worked in her favorite department, and got as much paid time off as she wanted whenever she wanted, so she left. Now I'm in a cushy position that I had to claw my way towards but I'm not going to be a fucking jaded old cunt about it like that woman and others were to me.