How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Rome's rightful successor]

Feeling indifferent today, this past week hasn't been neither the best nor the worst of my life. It's been very average.

 

[Kit Marz]

Not too well. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and I'm still trying to process it. I loved her a lot and wanted to marry her and support her in everything she does. She told me that she tried to love me like how I loved her and should couldn't bring herself to and cant see herself ever loving me. I've never been dumped before for being too loving and caring. It was easy to love her and want to see her succeed, more than anyone else I had been with. I've never felt more alone.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Sleepy.

 

[Betonhaus]

Not sure if I'd rather win the lottery or be struck down by lightning, but I really wish my luck wasn't average. I keep seeing how my life would be different if I had made different choices or had different opportunities, but I can't find a way to cross over to those paths.

 

[Vingle]

Currently I'm pissed and full gaycel mode. Honestly, it doesn't matter if it's treated like a inside joke here. Because, haha. Am I supposed to be offended by a truth? At this point It's more questionable if you actually like them.

Fags fucking enrage me, and I want to fedpost about them. But I'm still never going to do something illegal towards them, because I'm too good for criminality. And they get killed or kill themselves, completely without help from me.

In other news, I haven't bothered with the farms lately and at least I have progressed in the gym and can finally squat 220lb/100kg.

 

[Triple Flutz]

My in-laws were going to take all of the kids for 24 hours without us having prior obligations which would have been amazing and hasn't happened since I was pregnant with our youngest, who is now a toddler, but my MIL got shingles and I'm not really wanting to risk varicella on the heels of strep throat, so we're probably a week or two away from the rain check. It's fine and I'm vastly more invested in her health and well-being than in a break for my husband and I, but we had so many cozy plans so it kind of sucks to anticipate their execution and then have it canceled smh. Going to take everyone to the park in a bit, though, which should be fun. If they're good, we're probably going to pick up ice cream on the way back and coffee for ourselves, which also sounds really comfy.

 

[Pale Empress]

I've been seeing somebody off and on for the past year and it's only recently gotten more "serious." We're still not "together," mote in that weird grey area. They've acknowledged me as their best friend and neither of us have been seeing anybody else for as long as we've been physically/emotionally intimate. The problem is that we'll be great for a while, they'll spend the night and we'll do things together, and then they totally withdraw and be standoffish for days at a time.

I understand this is a symptom of an avoidant attachment style on their part, but it doesn't really fix anything by knowing what to call it. It's kind of compounded by us working together and they're technically my superior at work. I'm not trying to railroad anything and I know it's not fair to project my insecurities onto them, but at the same time I'd like a little commitment or some kind of acknowledgement about "us."

Not too well. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and I'm still trying to process it. I loved her a lot and wanted to marry her and support her in everything she does. She told me that she tried to love me like how I loved her and should couldn't bring herself to and cant see herself ever loving me. I've never been dumped before for being too loving and caring. It was easy to love her and want to see her succeed, more than anyone else I had been with. I've never felt more alone.

I wish I could say it gets better and hurts less, but it doesn't. I still catch myself thinking about my ex and it's been two years. In time it becomes less painful, but it's still a hole that can't quite be filled. Just don't turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, find some way to channel it into something productive.

 

[Kit Marz]

Just don't turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, find some way to channel it into something productive.

Thank for for the kind words. I'm trying to turn my focus to working out and going back to my crafting projects.

I wish the best for you and your relationship that you know what you need to do for you and your mental health. I wish that it's possible to always know where you stand with someone. It would make everything so much easier

 

[Megagi La Skunk]

Actually better proud of doing a project

Can't PL even though I had to pay a bit but was worth it

 

[LonesomeDud]

My favorite person in the world came home today, and I got to show her exactly how much she is loved and how deeply she was missed. I feel great!

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

It's probably not going to get better. Once things become this diseased, it never does.

I second this. @Overly Serious If you’re in a hole enough to be “advised,” it is often worse than it may appear. Depends on how uniquely valuable vs. fungible you are (and if it’s a large organization, everyone is fungible). At that point, good idea to start looking for an exit before one is provided for you before you are ready. Depending on role/demand, be especially mindful of the economy when deciding to push back.

I understand this is a symptom of an avoidant attachment style on their part, but it doesn't really fix anything by knowing what to call it. It's kind of compounded by us working together and they're technically my superior at work. I'm not trying to railroad anything and I know it's not fair to project my insecurities onto them, but at the same time I'd like a little commitment or some kind of acknowledgement about "us."

Unsolicited advice/perspective: Just remember to put your own needs first in this situation. Don’t allow yourself to be jerked around. Their problems (attachment or otherwise) are not yours. Set your standards for how you want - deserve - to be treated, and unhook from what you “want” so you can look at things objectively.

 

[Overly Serious]

Do you get paid federal holidays?
I know what it feels like to feel punished for one’s zeal. My heart bleeds for you fren

Nope. No paid leave of any kind. I was quarter of an hour late into work once and still charged them the full hour. But then I'd kind of gone over by a fair bit a couple of days before so...

It's probably not going to get better. Once things become this diseased, it never does.

Maybe now's the chance to use your skillset to start your own company?

I think it's time to go job-hunting or start your own business if you're able to.

I second this. @Overly Serious If you’re in a hole enough to be “advised,” it is often worse than it may appear. Depends on how uniquely valuable vs. fungible you are (and if it’s a large organization, everyone is fungible). At that point, good idea to start looking for an exit before one is provided for you before you are ready. Depending on role/demand, be especially mindful of the economy when deciding to push back.

Thanks for all responses. I gave a lot of thought to this since posting and talked it over with a few people. I also pushed back at work and did a little canvasing around other people and got their support and that led to some rescinding of the instructions. One of the crazy things about this is that I genuinely don't think I'd have been happy taking it easier in my job. I like to feel engaged more than I feel like I'm just filling time.

Anyway, some of the stuff that came out of this has made me think more about leaving. But I'll carry on for now as the money is good and like @Friend of Dorothy Parker says, be mindful of the economy. Might as well live work.

 

[Vingle]

Ahem, I have calmed down and holy fuck, looking at it now. My post was hilarious.
Guess I just needed to put it down *Sigh*, but anyway. I still hate fags, but in a more calm manner now.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Nope. No paid leave of any kind. I was quarter of an hour late into work once and still charged them the full hour. But then I'd kind of gone over by a fair bit a couple of days before so...





Thanks for all responses. I gave a lot of thought to this since posting and talked it over with a few people. I also pushed back at work and did a little canvasing around other people and got their support and that led to some rescinding of the instructions. One of the crazy things about this is that I genuinely don't think I'd have been happy taking it easier in my job. I like to feel engaged more than I feel like I'm just filling time.

Anyway, some of the stuff that came out of this has made me think more about leaving. But I'll carry on for now as the money is good and like @Friend of Dorothy Parker says, be mindful of the economy. Might as well live work.

Good for you. Getting support/buy-in is a great skill. And I can relate to a strong desire to be engaged in your work vs filling time. Sounds like you’re looking out for yourself, which is truly the wisest approach. I hope you can thread the needle and make it work, or find a better situation that values your expertise and contribution to positive output. Stay on your toes.

 

[Catman from cat town]

I enjoy going to my job however I don’t look forward to my weekend. I don’t mind living with my parents but there are established boundaries that are in place to encourage me to move out. It’s good during the week because I just work then go home hangout with my folks then sleep. I just need to find stuff to do on the weekends besides laundry. I’ve been going on more hikes because I’ve downloaded pikmin bloom though.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

It's bizarre but they've said, outright, that my knowing 'all the answers' / the best way to do everything, is hindering the development of junior people on the project.

I quit a job because of this sort of dynamic and I don't regret it.

However I recommend leaving any job as professionally as possible, unless you're retiring or already have signed onto a new job. It's a small world....

---

Going to have myself a cozy day off before working overtime the next four days straight

The OT was worth the money, but I developed repetitive motion injuries in both hands.

Spoiler: paralyzed face

Long-term paralysis recovery just sucks all around and the social support and understanding really dries up, especially as a guy where people want to tell you to just "get stronger to make it go away." Paralysis isn't just muscle weakness and nerve growth isn't like muscle growth. I've plateaued. I'm years past the window for 99% of nerve regrowth, but this is extremely hard for people to accept for some reason.

I explained things to my coworkers when I started my new job, and I thought they understood. But now after a few months, I've gotten a few questions like, "Oh, you still have that?" and "Have you tried doing exercises to see if it'll get better?" and finally- "Why does bliblblblb make that face?", which is why I bother to explain it when I start new jobs in the first place, so that people don't form weird first impressions.

I just need to start telling people that I made a silly face one day and it stuck that way.

There are some people in other departments that see me around but never worked with me. My face is fucked up, sometimes my speech is just a tiny bit fucked up because of my face too. They 100% thought I was actually mentally retarded until recently: I get why. But, you know, ouch. Every time someone tells me how surprising and how they've been humbled that I'm "actually a smart guy!!!!" I just want to say.... "can't you see how that's insulting?" but I haven't said that yet.

My favorite person in the world came home today, and I got to show her exactly how much she is loved and how deeply she was missed. I feel great!

 

[Shidoen]

I feel stronger

 

[anustart76]

How am I doing?

I feel stronger

 

[ChaosReignsOnSomeSaturday]

I'm working on becoming an alcoholic. Though if my transfer for school goes through maybe not.

 

[Crashman11]

things are starting to come together for me, I can see the light people!!!