- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
I lost my patience at work and told someone I hoped God struck him dead for lying.
I'll own it, but I won't take it back.
I'll own it, but I won't take it back.
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
Geddy Lee's Fee and See
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2023
I really don't understand the modern workplace. Get a bunch of strangers with vastly different personalities, no attachments to one another, looking out for one's own self rather than the grouo and add in high stress and just general lack of trust to the situation and pretend it's all okay because you are "forced" to be polite at work. Like it's fucking retarded on its face that this isn't how people work (just in general but literally. People work together due to social bonding and wanting to aim for a common goal. This is a basic fact of human nature). It's kinda no wonder people just aren't showing up to work anymore or otherwise giving up on the clock. I don't want to sound like I'm a pinko, but corporatism is just retarded anti-human drivel that is doomed to fail because it assumes human nature is malleable.
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
Most people I work with are amazing.
Lying doesn't work in my job. It will destroy all of us. There has to be absolute trust.
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2023
I think I'm gonna go to church on Sunday for the first time in my life. It feels like I'm going against the grain but being faithless has always felt empty and sad.
I'm still a bit lost about it so I don't know what to expect lol.
I'm still a bit lost about it so I don't know what to expect lol.
Geddy Lee's Fee and See
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2023
I guess it's just my field that's like that then. Oh well.
Don't expect a massive and sudden change of heart. Part of growth in faith comes from a regular prayer schedule and being consistent in going to church. Also, just talk to people and tell the pastor/priest your story so they know where you are coming from.
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2020
Shoutout to the other Kiwis that were watching the Gurren Lagann movies. I had seen the show before but this was a first time viewing for the movies. The first was pretty good but it felt like a big compilation episode, the early parts suffered the most from getting cut for a movie runtime. I was blown away by the second movie though, there's so much movie original content and it's a general improvement over the show I think (I was glad Boota didn't turn into a twink for instance). Gurren Lagann might be my favorite viewing experience of anything. I'd recommend it without any qualifications, but if you're having a hard time with anything, I don't think I could recommend a better show. There's just something so genuinely human about it, and giant mechs are always badass.
(((I am NOT a jew)))
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE, TELL ME ABOUT IT!
That was a damn near euphoric experience for me. That will go down as one of the top three theater experiences of my life, and I've seen a lot of good rereleases the past year.
I was just in astonishment seeing the marquee for it and thinking "Jesus christ, everything sucks the fattest of ass right now... but I'm actually seeing Gurren Lagann in an american theater.
Hung out with a bro I hadn't seen in a while and lost our shit during the final fight. It's nice because we weren't on the best of terms before now and hadn't seen eachother in a way, but all that awkwardness and anguish kind of slipped right away and we just hung out like we used to.
Yeah, I think it would be retarded for anyone to just watch the movies. They do the best they can, but some of the changes they make for pacing just don't hit the same. I WAY prefer Rosiu's near an hero in the show because it just feels right for Simon to give him a punch in the face to grit those teeth. Then again, the second movie is almost two and a half hours so it can be forgiven.
I like to think of the show and film as a sort of "loose canon" in my head. I don't think you have to think of either as being the "definitive timeline". I think the movie just does some things worse and some things way better.
So my personal way of watching it is essentially everything happens the same way in the show, but the final fight in the film and most of the crew surviving, as well as some of the added scenes, are the official experience.
And ABSOLUTELY Gurren Lagann still holds up, if not gets better with age. Still a masterpiece of pure art.
The multidimensional labyrinth hit me the most, in some ways more than the big battle. Simon and Kamina having a heart to heart kind of actually gave me a clarity I've needed for a long time.
The idea of mourning the past, or thinking of all the possible ways your life could have gone and wondering if you should have lived a life of comfort over risk and saying "Fuck all that shit" kind of made me realize how much I've been putting off the future and moving because of fears and wanting to live comfortably instead of do something with my life.
Yes, a mecha anime made me have a life epiphany. Yes, that is kind of autistic. But still...
In short, god I needed this. This movie really was the punch in the face I needed to grit my teeth.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2020
Been feeling kinda sad lately.
But that's enough of that.
Since I moved to the new apartment, and the kid has her own room in it (and loves it), the plan has always been that we'd change the parenting time (don't really wanna call it custody) arrangement from her staying the weekends with me, to her living a week here and then a week with her mom and then repeat. Can't get more 50/50 than that.
But also her mom was going to work a few days during the week (works from home, but also had an extra outside job 2-3 days a week), and the kid would be here during those shifts, and she'd come pick her up or I'd drop her off after. Those days during the week, though in my head were a bother because I had to take time out of work for them and kind of be in hurry for most of the day (I, too, work from home, 100% in my case), started becoming really emotionally important to me without noticing it.
Not that we did anything special those days, it was just her hanging out here a few hours.
So now, because my ex-in laws' health complications have become much worse as of late, my ex is gonna stop working, and will instead go help them a few times a week, and be on call if anything happens (her lost income will be replaced by her brother sending money, because he lives too far away to help directly). So the kid won't be coming here during those week days anymore.
I'm facing the idea that I won't see her for a whole week at a time from now on, and it hit me harder than I expected. In fact, today was the first day of the change in the arrangement, and it's like my melancholia is on overdrive.
Funny how it goes.
Eh. I'll get over it. I'll just call her and chat with her during those off weeks.
I can only imagine my ex is gonna feel the same way but even harder, since up to this point she'd spend most of the time with the kid.
Well, if you allow me a bit of spite, serves her right.
But also her mom was going to work a few days during the week (works from home, but also had an extra outside job 2-3 days a week), and the kid would be here during those shifts, and she'd come pick her up or I'd drop her off after. Those days during the week, though in my head were a bother because I had to take time out of work for them and kind of be in hurry for most of the day (I, too, work from home, 100% in my case), started becoming really emotionally important to me without noticing it.
Not that we did anything special those days, it was just her hanging out here a few hours.
So now, because my ex-in laws' health complications have become much worse as of late, my ex is gonna stop working, and will instead go help them a few times a week, and be on call if anything happens (her lost income will be replaced by her brother sending money, because he lives too far away to help directly). So the kid won't be coming here during those week days anymore.
I'm facing the idea that I won't see her for a whole week at a time from now on, and it hit me harder than I expected. In fact, today was the first day of the change in the arrangement, and it's like my melancholia is on overdrive.
Funny how it goes.
Eh. I'll get over it. I'll just call her and chat with her during those off weeks.
I can only imagine my ex is gonna feel the same way but even harder, since up to this point she'd spend most of the time with the kid.
Well, if you allow me a bit of spite, serves her right.
But that's enough of that.
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(((I am NOT a jew)))
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Jesus I didn't realize how many people here actually went to watch this thing. I'm proud of us.
And yes dear god Boota not becoming a twink was great.
I think that's a good summary of why people love Gurren Lagann. Despite being bombastic and over-the-top it's more "deep" and mature than something like Evangelion without being nihilistic or pretentious. It's something people can come back to and always find something they didn't catch at first, or something resonate a little more with them then the last time. It's a pro-human and shows a faith in humanity and evolving, while also shitting on reddit-tier "I Fucking Love Science" whankery (The Anti-Spiral is legitimately a perfect personification of the type of people who just care about the facts and outcomes and misses the forrest for the trees by not understanding what actually makes people tick).
I love that the video before the movie just showed the three guys who made it chilling and talking very humbly. They're just kind of hanging out and not addressing the fact that they kind of made the one of the greatest things ever. It's always interesting to see the difference in western "creators" and their egos compared to the japanese and the amount of humility the latter shows.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2022
I just feel so alone man.
I miss being loved.
I'm trying to not need to be loved, to not use love to fill a void, to love myself. But like... is it really healthy/reasonable to not need to be loved? Isn't that part of the hierarchy of needs? Isn't that what the Harlow monkey experiments demonstrate?
Ideally one is loved by their family and other forms of love are optional, but what are you supposed to do if you were robbed of that? A healthy romantic relationship comes from an abundance of love rather than a deficit, but is it healthier to be in an unhealthy relationship than to have no intimacy/emotional support at all?
I want to get to the point where I can be in a healthy relationship, where I'm not using someone to replace the love I didn't get, and I'm taking steps and making good progress, but it fucking sucks having nobody there for me in the process. I wish I could just pay somebody for a shoulder to cry on, or just mutually consent to something unhealthy and temporary. I wish the friends I made weren't as fucked up as I am. I wish I had proper parents, a proper childhood, but that's never happening so I have to stop wishing for it.
I wish I didn't have to withdraw or put up a wall to deal with it in the meantime.
I should probably just make some new friends, but that feels like the same thing at this juncture -- going out and finding people to make me feel better, using people to feel better, instead of getting better.
If it was just a matter of riding it out it wouldn't be so bad, but actually doing the legwork and making the changes and facing the demons all alone is fucking rough.
It'll get better soon, I just wish I had somebody to help me get through the hard parts.
I miss being loved.
I'm trying to not need to be loved, to not use love to fill a void, to love myself. But like... is it really healthy/reasonable to not need to be loved? Isn't that part of the hierarchy of needs? Isn't that what the Harlow monkey experiments demonstrate?
Ideally one is loved by their family and other forms of love are optional, but what are you supposed to do if you were robbed of that? A healthy romantic relationship comes from an abundance of love rather than a deficit, but is it healthier to be in an unhealthy relationship than to have no intimacy/emotional support at all?
I want to get to the point where I can be in a healthy relationship, where I'm not using someone to replace the love I didn't get, and I'm taking steps and making good progress, but it fucking sucks having nobody there for me in the process. I wish I could just pay somebody for a shoulder to cry on, or just mutually consent to something unhealthy and temporary. I wish the friends I made weren't as fucked up as I am. I wish I had proper parents, a proper childhood, but that's never happening so I have to stop wishing for it.
I wish I didn't have to withdraw or put up a wall to deal with it in the meantime.
I should probably just make some new friends, but that feels like the same thing at this juncture -- going out and finding people to make me feel better, using people to feel better, instead of getting better.
If it was just a matter of riding it out it wouldn't be so bad, but actually doing the legwork and making the changes and facing the demons all alone is fucking rough.
It'll get better soon, I just wish I had somebody to help me get through the hard parts.
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023
(((I am NOT a jew)))
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Dude I completely understand. I hate that there's all these copium videos and advice out there on how lonely men can deal with being lonely. But the honest to god truth is we shouldn't be having to break our literal biology to deal with the hell of isolation. It's not human or natural for 95% of people. So I get it. I definitely feel the family part.
It's a raw deal because you're born into a shitty family, which fucks up your entire major growing years, which makes socializing and interacting with the world harder, which draws shitty people towards you because they know you just want someone around, which harms you even more, and so on...
I GET IT. IT'S PAINFUL!
But I'll tell you this. I cut out a really shitty person in my life recently who I kept around just because I was afraid of being alone. That person tried to come back into my life recently and I almost was lulled back into the same shitty codependency thing again. But the truth was cutting that person out was the best thing I've done for myself, and I grew exponentially as a result.
And I started doing things by myself, even though they were difficult and awkward to do alone. I much rather would have had someone with me during those times, but I managed myself and taught myself to be okay with doing things by myself.
I made a friend only so many months ago who's been the best thing in my life in a long time. I only have one real friend where I live now, but they've been a godsend. But I don't think I would have initiated a friendship with them if I had stayed where I was at.
It's completely okay to be bitter and even angry because you got fucked over in childhood. And it's perfectly natural to have bewilderment at the fact that you're trying your best and are doing everything you can and still can't connect to people. That's not on you. The world is just a really cold place for most people, let alone for guys dealing with this sort of dilemna.
But if your friends are legitimately making you not like yourself and they're just someone you deal with, kick them the fuck out of your life. It will be really hard in the beginning, but you'll have a sense of respect for yourself in the long term that will make socializing a lot easier.
I wish you the best of luck, friend. I know this shit isn't easy.
You of all people don't get to use a spoiler tag like that when you basically never do that on here. That's a completely valid pain. Noticing you have something nice if your life happening you didn't even think you wanted and then being blue-balled by life for it is not very pog for anyone. I don't have a lot to say other than I hope that things work out to where you can see her more frequently at a later time.
Despite not having a kid, I can relate as I'm seeing my family soon for a couple of days for the first time in, uh, years. The idea that I could actually see my brother on a daily or weekly basis is something I would trade a good chunk of time and money for. So I feel you.
Nothing faggy about that.
Still, kind of happy karma decided to exist for your ex for a second there. Probably shouldn't say that. But if she actually just left you like you said she did, I don't see the harm done.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2022
Yeah but I'm about to be traveling for work pretty much indefinitely so I can't even have that. I had to leave the cats with my ex.
;_;
Geddy Lee's Fee and See
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2023
It's just good art. Good art always imitates life and its ups and downs and even teaches us a few good lessons along the way. That's why I hate modern media: it's anti-art. It's literally slop made to pump up some niggerfaggot exucutive's stock numbers and all his powerbottom manaager's egos. It's fake and gay and only meant to entertain, not to inform, inspire or to make someone a better person while still turning a profit (which is perfectly fine. Anyone making good art deserves to be paid and paid well). Modern anime definitely has fallen victim to this which is why even the Gurren Lagann movies, which are a bit worse than the main shows in terms of the pacing, still fucking holds up 15 years later and still will hold up in 100 years meanwhile most shounen anime/manga are forgotten not even a year or two later.
Yeah. Evangelion is over-rated. The only good thing to come out of Evangelion was Misato Kitsuragi and FLCL (which would eventually lead to Gainax's renaissance, where they produced their best works like Gurren Lagann, Gunbuster 2 and FLCL (not the remakes mind. Just the original)). I think even Berserk does the whole nihilism thing better because Guts never stops fighting for his woman and to avenge his fallen comrades, no matter how long it takes to exact it on Griffith. It was just grim-darkness for grim-darkness' sake, not to show how even the darkest situations can be turned about in our favor. Simon also gets rid of his nay-saying attitude and manages to step up to the plate, meanwhile Shinji is always a little bitch and never ever takes responsibility for anything. Everyone else in NGE was also a right cunt too, minus say Rei (because she really has no personality) and the most of the minor characters in the series. I will say the mech designs of NGE are alright and the idea of a piloting a biological bio-mech is cool.
They kind of remind me of the guys from Rush. They really never talked about "OH YEAH, WELL MOVING PICTURES IS THE BEST ALBUM EVER AND WE'RE SO PROUD WE MADE IT." They just talk about shit like the behind the scenes of how they make their music and the various struggles,victories and themes that led to the creation of the album. They almost never talk about themselves and when they do it's not in a bombastic way. It's just very down-to-earth or in a jocular manner. Frankly, I think people that brag about themselves or their work are just compensating for some sort of insecurity. It's very childish and shows a lack of sophistication, which is all to common in not only the Western media landscape, but in modern Western culture.
Shigbeard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 3, 2022
I just fucking hate printers. I work tech support, and it's all I fucking do. Today I had the joys of dealing with one particularly autistic printer. Client got a new ISP, scan to email broke, because he was using the old ISP's unauthenticated semi-open relay for SMTP (not fully open, just open to any of their customer's IPs). New ISP sends me a set of SMTP creds. I test them, printer goes "Yup all good!", but as soon as I scan to email, I get errors that suggest invalid creds, or unreachable host, or my favorite, a generic error that all documentation just suggests that I "check the server". Sure.
I poke the ISP, they check their postfix logs, and I can see the printer is sending illegal commands (illegal after PIPELINING, so printer probably isn't waiting for PIPELINING support to be announced, or is not sending DATA last), so I go and contact the printer vendor. They tell me its a "network issue". Fine, guess I gotta do these clowns jobs as well. I go on site, I test the SMTP settings. I can send emails from WiFi, Ethernet, same Ethernet port as the printer, same internal IP as the printer, just not from the printer. Present this all to the printer techs. You want to know what these fucking clowns said in response?
"The client recently changed ISPs, these credentials wont work, can you try to use office 365? the client uses office 365 for their emails"
FUCKER I JUST FUCKING SHOWED YOU THEY WORK, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AND ADMIT YOUR SHITTY FUCKING RUSSIAN BRANDED PRINTER DOESNT FUCKING DO SMTP RIGHT YOU USELESS CUNTS. IF YOU LOOK FURTHER UP IN THE TICKET THAT YOU'VE BEEN CC'D IN, YOU'LL SEE THE CLIENT HAS NO AVAILABLE LICENSES FOR O365
I poke the ISP, they check their postfix logs, and I can see the printer is sending illegal commands (illegal after PIPELINING, so printer probably isn't waiting for PIPELINING support to be announced, or is not sending DATA last), so I go and contact the printer vendor. They tell me its a "network issue". Fine, guess I gotta do these clowns jobs as well. I go on site, I test the SMTP settings. I can send emails from WiFi, Ethernet, same Ethernet port as the printer, same internal IP as the printer, just not from the printer. Present this all to the printer techs. You want to know what these fucking clowns said in response?
"The client recently changed ISPs, these credentials wont work, can you try to use office 365? the client uses office 365 for their emails"
FUCKER I JUST FUCKING SHOWED YOU THEY WORK, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AND ADMIT YOUR SHITTY FUCKING RUSSIAN BRANDED PRINTER DOESNT FUCKING DO SMTP RIGHT YOU USELESS CUNTS. IF YOU LOOK FURTHER UP IN THE TICKET THAT YOU'VE BEEN CC'D IN, YOU'LL SEE THE CLIENT HAS NO AVAILABLE LICENSES FOR O365
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2020
Thanks, that's very kind of you. The truth is I'm gonna spend way more time with the kid than I do currently (like I said, 50% of the time rather than the current 30-something %), but it's gonna be in blocks of one week yes, one week no. It's just that I found myself immediately missing having her around for a few hours a couple times a week while her mom went to work.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2020
I was holding my son today and I thought he may have started to smile, no instead he just ripped a huge fart and got angry. Still that hint of a smile was probably the happiest I have felt since he was born.
Its worth it, to anyone that is worried about having kids, moments like this make it worth it. I would wade through a field of fire for this little guy.
Its worth it, to anyone that is worried about having kids, moments like this make it worth it. I would wade through a field of fire for this little guy.
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023
Four months ago the company that broke me contacted me asking if I'd run their gundrill division as their brand new HR manager (that they badly needed for a very long time) found me on LinkedIn that I used to work for the company. I turned her down and indicated that there were some severe issues when I left, but my desperate ass just sent her a follow up email asking to get in touch. Realistically it would probably be a horrible decision, but at least I'd be making decent money and can build up my savings to go back to school.
I'll try following up with the delivery company I had an interview with on Monday but I would've expected to hear back from them by now.
I'll try following up with the delivery company I had an interview with on Monday but I would've expected to hear back from them by now.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2020
Who knows, maybe you can drive some change and fix some of the issues from a position of power on the inside