How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[AnOminous]

I used to know a guy who had to have multiple replacements and he walked fine after he had both done right and was fully mobile into his early 80's. Hopfully both yourself and @Imp heal fine and get up an about an remain so for decades to come.

I know a couple old dudes who have had both knees replaced and they're still walking around in their 80s. And I have an aunt who is approaching 90 and has almost as much metal in her as the Terminator.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Haven't been sleeping at all, mega stressed. What the fuck am I doing with my life?

 

[beejams]

Turns out that basically we're so fucking back. Believe it or not I confided in someone and they gave me some advice and it worked.
Very few people are malicious, but I just go around assuming everyone's looking for chinks in my armor. It's okay to not act like a robot in meatspace sometimes.

RE: birthdays, good thing about having one right near Christmas and new years is that you get to have all your time-related existential crises simultaneously and move on.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Sorry to tell you guys this, i've become a tranny overnight. And a medical wonder. The text reads "Hello mama, this is my new number, can you please save it and contact me under it via Whatsapp."
I wish i knew why i get these scam messages, because i am fairly sure i only ever used the number to register my "business" Gmail and nothing else with it. Already had to block the country of Belize because i got scam calls from over there.

Frustrated. Built my buddies PC yesterday. Wouldn't boot up. Had to take it to a shop I know because nothing I did was working. Took 4-5 hours with his help. I'm tired bros.
View attachment 5830069

Flashbacks to my very first PC build, turned out i inserted the DVD drive with too much force (like a mongoloid) and broke the cable that lead from the mainboard to the power button.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Keep it going me lad

Since I'm looking for a new job I've also cut out weed... but this has done nothing for me except make me more tired due to my lack of sleep. I used to look down on pot until I gave up and tried it... it's such a real nothing burger, the morons that get high while they work are degenerates but I find, for anyone with self control, this stuff can have a lot of value, particularly for an insomniac like me. It's like I get tired, get up and go to bed, and once I plop down I'm wide awake again.

 

[Yamamura]

I feel good today.

I have a strange sense of optimism about my current disposition in life right now. I started to think really deeply about my situation in life as a whole right now and it's not really as bad as I think it is sometimes compared to other people's. The more I think about it I'm actually extremely lucky I managed to stumble into a position that enables me to do what I do on a daily basis in a relatively low stress environment.

 

[Betonhaus]

I get my first paycheck Friday and will be doing a grocery run this weekend which is much needed

 

[Nick Obre]

Since I'm looking for a new job I've also cut out weed... but this has done nothing for me except make me more tired due to my lack of sleep. I used to look down on pot until I gave up and tried it... it's such a real nothing burger, the morons that get high while they work are degenerates but I find, for anyone with self control, this stuff can have a lot of value, particularly for an insomniac like me. It's like I get tired, get up and go to bed, and once I plop down I'm wide awake again.

Depends, I suppose, on the kind of weed. Not sure which is which, but between sativa and indica, one makes you sleepier, and the other is more psychoactive. And then there's sub-categories within those two, and blends of both.
I don't know much, and given my recent land of fractals and anxiety adventure, I may not be the best one to talk about it.

But look into it and maybe use the right kind, in the right dosage (and maybe in the right format, there's drops and stuff) for a good rest, but not much more.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I’ve been looking for a new job and my family has been helping me out as of late. Today I’ve been notified that a job fair is tomorrow and they might hire on sight if they like my credentials. Here’s to hoping things go well.

 

[Outer Space Traveller]

I had a long day with argument with my mother, again regarding my situation (without a job, perspective in life, etc etc). Hurts a lot, and I want and need to improve. I don't want her to work forever to help me (She's 52, yet she's growing tired of working on a very demanding store at a mall). My stepfather works as a mechanic on his own shop, 51 and I want to help them whenever I can.

I am sending resumés daily, almost, yet I am starting to think I am doing something wrong. It has to be. Maybe this was something to "get my ass moving", sort of thing.

 

[The Feline Solution]

I’ve been looking for a new job and my family has been helping me out as of late. Today I’ve been notified that a job fair is tomorrow and they might hire on sight if they like my credentials. Here’s to hoping things go well.

Good luck with this, fella.

given my recent land of fractals and anxiety adventure

Is this in any way related to your very-vague vague post from a few pages back where you said you where in a bad situation but everything went well in the end?

 

[Nick Obre]

Is this in any way related to your very-vague vague post from a few pages back where you said you where in a bad situation but everything went well in the end?

No, it's related to the "I had too many edibles" situation from a few more pages back.
A friend* gave me a bit of weed chocolate, and it didn't do much.
Days went by, and I got more weed chocos from her, so I decided to eat twice as much as I had the first time.
This was a bad decision.
Maybe these were stronger.
Maybe there's a sweet spot between these two amounts.
I don't know. I haven't tested further.

But it was a difficult night.

*If anyone remembers, I posted about a month or two that I met a girl and talked and flirted for a while. I said I didn't expect it going anywhere, but that it was still a good sign for me to have flirted at all and enjoyed the exchange.
It didn't go anywhere, as I predicted, but we did become friends.

I did not mention at the time, the chocolates she sells are, obvious to you by now, the weed kind.

The Scary Situation, Tho

It's unrelated.
I had also mentioned I might adopt a blind greyhound.
I'm in the process of it. It's still not official in terms of the rescue foundation's procedure, but come on, I'm not sending him back by now.

The scary situation is that when I went out to buy some stuff, despite it seeming impossible from all the windows having bars and other protections, the blind dumbass noodled out of the apartment through a window (first floor, thankfully), and when the concierge tried to bring him back into the building, he thrashed around a bit and accidentally hurt the guy's arm; he himself would later say it was not a bite, just a scratch that looked a lot worse than it really was.
Regardless, the concierge had to go to emergencies to had the injury treated, and for a couple of hours I, my kid, her mom, and the people of the rescue foundation were all scared that:
-I might get in trouble with the building's administration, maybe forced to leave
-The authorities may investigate the dog and maybe take it away

Nothing happened, in the end. The concierge came back all laughs and told me it wasn't a problem, didn't even let me compensate him for expenses (as he said it was all covered).
Just making sure everything is fully closed when I leave him alone, the stupid blind escape artist.

I don't usually dox things from my personal life but here he is by the way.

 

[Dustlord]

No, it's related to the "I had too many edibles" situation from a few more pages back.
A friend* gave me a bit of weed chocolate, and it didn't do much.
Days went by, I had more weed chocos, so I decided to eat twice as much as I had the first time.
This was a bad decision.
Maybe these were stronger.
Maybe there's a sweet spot between these two amounts.
I don't know.

But it was a difficult night.

Had a similarly bad experience on some mushrooms a while back. Its all fun and games until every childhood trauma, regret, and general negative feelings about life becomes your entire existence for a few hours.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Depends, I suppose, on the kind of weed. Not sure which is which, but between sativa and indica, one makes you sleepier, and the other is more psychoactive. And then there's sub-categories within those two, and blends of both.
I don't know much, and given my recent land of fractals and anxiety adventure, I may not be the best one to talk about it.

But look into it and maybe use the right kind, in the right dosage (and maybe in the right format, there's drops and stuff) for a good rest, but not much more.

Believe it or not, the sativa/indica stuff is largely a myth or oversimplification. It's more about the terpenes, flavonoids, and cannabinoids. As with many plants sometimes growth conditions can effect potency more than strain. My problem is, as I am starting to look for a new job, I would probably need to pass a drug test. I will try herbal teas again now that I know the culprit of my gastrointestinal upset and anxiety was likely norovirus, with heart palpitations from upset of my GI tract causing my nervous system to be a bit overactive (much like how breathing slowly can lower your heart rate and anxiety). I still have it to a much lesser extent but it's no longer very uncomfortable.

You saw fractals from weed? Interesting. Most I ever got visually was maybe waviness or, after some edibles I got the perception of some line spinning or something, hard to explain. I generally don't find weed super enjoyable, just useful.

 

[Nick Obre]

Had a similarly bad experience on some mushrooms a while back. Its all fun and games until every childhood trauma, regret, and general negative feelings about life becomes your entire existence for a few hours.

Nah, for me it was just the physical sensations of anxiety, plus visual and, I don't know how to explain it, positional? hallucinations. Like I see things shrinking and growing and multiplying fractally until I kinda focus again and it goes back to normal for a moment, and my sense of position is distorted along with it.
Which is exactly the same things I get when I have a strong fever. Though when it's fever, it's milder but more unpleasant because it's accompanied by the symptoms of whatever illness I have at the time, feeling cold or hot, etc.
I guess it's just how altered brain states affect me, no matter the source.

I didn't get anything existential out of it. No traumas coming back, no feelings, beyond the regret of taking too much. Just a surprisingly calm mind going "ah, it was too much. Gotta hang on until it passes"

Believe it or not, the sativa/indica stuff is largely a myth or oversimplification.

I can believe that.

My problem is, as I am starting to look for a new job, I would probably need to pass a drug test.

Yeah, careful with that. Pissing in a cup in front of a nurse is already uncomfortable enough, without the worry of it costing you the potential job.

You saw fractals from weed? Interesting. Most I ever got visually was maybe waviness or, after some edibles I got the perception of some line spinning or something, hard to explain. I generally don't find weed super enjoyable, just useful.

Like I said, I think it's more a me thing than a weed thing.
It's happened to me since I was a child.
One of my oldest memories is having a fever, and fever-dreaming of a picture of the Swat Kats zooming out and multiplying and then zooming in and expanding.

I didn't even like Swat Kats.

 

[anustart76]

I had my interview today, I think it went well, the conversation seemed very good. I hope he felt the same way. I have some more interviews coming up over the next week, but this is the one I was most excited about, so I really hope they liked me.
I also found out that just about all of my team hate our manager on some level, which is nice I guess. At least I'm not totally alone.
And I randomly ran into a classmate from high school today. Did not expect it, but it was nice, I remember she was one of the nicer kids back then too.

I am sending resumés daily, almost, yet I am starting to think I am doing something wrong. It has to be. Maybe this was something to "get my ass moving", sort of thing.

It's not you, it's this economy. Trying to get a job is a nightmare these days, especially if you're not already in a job.

 

[dick brain]

Had a similarly bad experience on some mushrooms a while back. Its all fun and games until every childhood trauma, regret, and general negative feelings about life becomes your entire existence for a few hours.

Those are the most valuable trips to have had though. Locked in the arena with your demons.

You saw fractals from weed? Interesting. Most I ever got visually was maybe waviness or, after some edibles I got the perception of some line spinning or something, hard to explain. I generally don't find weed super enjoyable, just useful.

Edibles are something else. I smoked for a few years and never felt anything but a pleasant inebriation, but edibles (granted, 4x the advised dosage because I had the same experience as Armenian Cory) knocked me on my ass. It's way too easy to ingest too much at once.

On topic, I think I'm doing okay. I fucked my knee up and haven't been able to run, but I've been consistently hitting PRs in the gym; I took a good look in the mirror for the first time in a while, and between the gains and a much needed haircut, I actually look pretty fucking good. If I can manage to get my VO2max back up a bit without sacrificing muscle mass I'll indisputably be in the best shape of my life.

Been trying to hold myself to what I said about cutting myself some slack / not putting too much pressure on myself. Been trying to orient myself towards the things that I actually care about, which is mostly just being active and being in nature; looking into places to go backpacking in the path of totality during the eclipse. I talked to my counselor and decided that having things I enjoy at all is good enough for now, even if those things might be symptoms of more baggage. Maybe that's all we are anyway.

Still not sure what direction I'm going to go professionally, but I don't have to be yet.

I'm trying not to be a humorless dick and the constant stream of degenerate furfags is helping immensely.

Also I think I like vtubers now, at least the ones that aren't coombait or moeshit. So that's been interesting. Here's hoping I don't fall down a rabbit hole.

 

[Tracksuit PHd]

I've developed an extreme understanding of the mindset of grumpy ass old people. I get their frustration. And I no longer wish to have dogs as pets. Not because mine are terrible, but I live in a rural area where everyone is either meth/fentanyl addict, dealers of said products, or shitty people who refuse to have mufflers on their shitty hobbled-together Ford trucks and they complain about my dogs barking at night when their excessive noise/customer traffic constantly grabs their attention, who complains to animal control about my dogs... I've gotten into heated arguments with the sheriffs department (who oversees animal control) to the point they leave me alone now, but I still have to deal with the bullshit....

Edited for grammar, Probably not well.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE RETURNS]

My best rabbit died. Dunno what to feel. I still have 5 left but this was my favorite rabbit. I ve seen and dealt with many dead rabbits but this one hurts the most.

 

[Dustlord]

Those are the most valuable trips to have had though. Locked in the arena with your demons.

People say that and its probably true, but I think its more about what you make of it. Its easy to chalk up an experience like that to bad luck, just a wasted night. You still have to do the work of untangling that experience and interpreting what it says about your mindset. I almost think the drug just facilitates rumination and the actual change in mindset is purely effort.

That's not the fun opinion though.