How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

For so long now I've been seeing myself as needing to be fixed, needing some repairs or something to function "normally". Today I realized I don't have to change to continue just being, Good or bad, I exist and take up space and am whole and am a thing that is inherently valuable. I just have to keep breathing, like all humans do, to prove my worth.
I hope the future's promising
 
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Things seem promising, it's weird being back in a machine shop and weird how normal it is - I haven't worked in a machine shop for like 18 months and the first few times I interviewed for work I nearly had a panic attack once i stepped inside the shop. I mentioned my circumstances and my job leader said he'd talk to management about getting my first paycheck earlier, which will help a bit.
 
feel like give up soon. even if that pussy shit.

can't get job. can't do anything. i hope if i cow, i help some way in your buildings or tools.

serious. i'm just despair. i wont pussy like kill myself be assured. but it make me MAD
I've been looking for 6 months and haven't gotten an offer yet. The market is an absolute shitshow right now.
 
I recently started having penpals. Just because it's fun to talk to complete strangers from across the country or world. I already kind of do that with you guys here, but my penpals are sort of different, i.e. I can't really shitpost or rant about stuff to them but that's okay! Other than that, just plugging away at my job. I also recently got a Costco membership. Going into a Costco was sort of like witnessing this scene from Little Nightmares:

 
Yea, I figured that could help. I've gone through a few Gatorades today, but if it comes down to it I'll just go for that.
Hey, if you want a great alternative to Gatorade or Powerade, which I think are rather mediocre, try LMNT packets. A month ago I started using them just because, and they're far superior to Gatorade or the like. I buy boxes of them from Amazon for a reasonable price. They're quite salty because they have a high sodium content (you want this), FYI. I also like their cans of sparkling water plus all their ingredients, but I found it's cheaper to buy 2L bottles of club soda and just mix the packets into a serving if that's what I want.

If you try them I hope they help you.
 
Sibling envy is creeping in again after years of me not giving a shit. How do you guys cope with it? My sister is like a New World Order model citizen who lives a perfect, barbie life.
I just try not to pay attention, with a dash of sour grapes mixed in. For all you know, you're only getting half the story and they are either mortgaging their future or just hiding the fact that they are really struggling.
 
I just try not to pay attention, with a dash of sour grapes mixed in. For all you know, you're only getting half the story and they are either mortgaging their future or just hiding the fact that they are really struggling.
She got a job through semi nepotism in my old hometown, a place where I struggled to find work outside of mcslop jobs and effortlessly met a 6'5 boyfriend on a dating app who has his own fucking house in his mid 20s.

I moved out of state for a decent job in the field I graduated for, but I've had to jump through so many damn hoops and have many more hoops to jump through just to get some semblance of a "normal" life. As in I'm struggling to find work in my semi long distance GF's city. I get blackpilled by reminders of how easy life could be sometimes and I hate that.
 
It's fucking hot outside bros. I want to fucking die levels of hot. I want to fucking die. My snow nigga ass ain't made for this.
Recommendation, have some Russian summer soup. the ingredients aren't that appetizing sounding to westerners but when its cold it gives your body a cool down feeling like you just hopped out of a pool. Son't knock it till you try it.
 
everything is alien to me
i dont feel i belong anywhere
country, family, nothing binding
If you are young, it will come with time. All those things you take for granted or even find annoying now will become precious memories and destinations for nostalgia trips, physically or in your head if they no longer exist.
 
Recommendation, have some Russian summer soup. the ingredients aren't that appetizing sounding to westerners but when its cold it gives your body a cool down feeling like you just hopped out of a pool. Son't knock it till you try it.
Dunno if that will help, but my grass needed cutting and I was totally that guy who did it at 12:30 AM in the fucking morning by moonlight.

What can I say, I'm a pale ass vampire. And you know what's fucked up? The fact every dog started barking within half a mile? No. It was 85 degrees outside and I was sweating like a pig when I finished up.
 
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Recently, I've found myself interested in philosophy again. I know that most philosophers are pretentious autists and hypocrites, but I still like reading what they have to say. Even if I think it's stupid or annoying. I will never rekindle the same passion for politics though. With every passing year, I hate politics more and more.
 
Recently, I've found myself interested in philosophy again. I know that most philosophers are pretentious autists and hypocrites, but I still like reading what they have to say. Even if I think it's stupid or annoying. I will never rekindle the same passion for politics though. With every passing year, I hate politics more and more.
If tomorrow never comes, does that mean yesterday never was?
 
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