- Joined
- Nov 22, 2019
I feel you on this, man, I'm currently in a similar situation. Hang in there.
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023
I'm so bored. We have done nothing all day and my supervisor was playing Mario Kart on a DSi against another coworker and is now taking a nap. At least it pays well.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2022
I can't really tell how you're feeling about this.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2022
Going through it.
It's been a rough few weeks. One of my main reasons for not killing myself for a long time was that my dad and I had a sort of reverse suicide pact, where we promised not to kill ourselves while the other party is alive. I would get close and then think about how it would affect him and I'd find a way to keep going. But he's not around for me to let down anymore.
So I put a gun in my mouth a couple nights ago. But I remembered I promised several people that if it came down to drinking again or killing myself I'd give drinking a shot, even though I think I'd rather die. So I did neither and started taking antidepressants again. I'm really averse to it for a lot of reasons that I don't really feel like elaborating on, but it's probably a less bad idea than the alternatives.
I mentioned it already but I've been sort of doing triage with my vices -- indulging in the less volatile/critical stuff so I don't relapse in the serious stuff. Which basically just means being a hikikomori neet weeb again, instead of a homeless drunk.
Whisper of the Heart is a good movie. The Cat Returns is a good movie. Tomo-chan wa Onnanoko is a good manga. Tonight I'm going to watch the Tomo-chan anime and eat chinese food, and hopefully get in a good enough mood to lift. If anybody has recommendations for romcom slop manga in that vein, I'm looking.
It's been a rough few weeks. One of my main reasons for not killing myself for a long time was that my dad and I had a sort of reverse suicide pact, where we promised not to kill ourselves while the other party is alive. I would get close and then think about how it would affect him and I'd find a way to keep going. But he's not around for me to let down anymore.
So I put a gun in my mouth a couple nights ago. But I remembered I promised several people that if it came down to drinking again or killing myself I'd give drinking a shot, even though I think I'd rather die. So I did neither and started taking antidepressants again. I'm really averse to it for a lot of reasons that I don't really feel like elaborating on, but it's probably a less bad idea than the alternatives.
I mentioned it already but I've been sort of doing triage with my vices -- indulging in the less volatile/critical stuff so I don't relapse in the serious stuff. Which basically just means being a hikikomori neet weeb again, instead of a homeless drunk.
Whisper of the Heart is a good movie. The Cat Returns is a good movie. Tomo-chan wa Onnanoko is a good manga. Tonight I'm going to watch the Tomo-chan anime and eat chinese food, and hopefully get in a good enough mood to lift. If anybody has recommendations for romcom slop manga in that vein, I'm looking.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
I've posted in this thread earlier and it's been all sunshine despite setbacks but now it's fucking rough! I've been told by multiple people within my organization that I should hit them up if my contract current isn't renewed, so that's good, But I'm also in the kind of retarded nonsense dating drama you'd find in high school and it makes me feel bad. No means no.
platinumbarbi3
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2023
Finishing up a 17 hour shift, everything hurts.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
I am a grandmother for the fifth time.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2022
Take a bath or shower or otherwise do something anti-inflammatory like stretch/heating pad before you go to sleep! Trust me! Don't just immediately lay down, no matter how tired you are!
I worked about thirty 12hr shifts in a ROW for a farming job. The hardest part was always waking up the next day with my legs and back tight as wooden planks, my entire body all stiff and full of knots. Instead of just stripping my work clothes off and washing my face before going straight to bed, I started taking a bath too- and it made ALL the difference in how I felt the next day. Working such long hours is no joke!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
Finally got my meds refilled after months of not being able to get an appointment to do so. So that'll be good. Meanwhile, I haven't heard back from the folks about the job, which is fine since I can't afford to earn both the permits for it right now. Been asking around other businesses in town in the meantime. I WILL find something. Things will get better.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2017
Got my first paycheck on this job. More than I expected. Now I feel the urge to buy some shit for kitchen that I will have to leave behind if I move again and I know I will move again in the future. On the one hand I love cooking on the other I've always been afraid to spend money on something that's not vital, buyer's remorse sucks.
Otherwise life is ok. Take care and try cheese bagels.
Otherwise life is ok. Take care and try cheese bagels.
- Joined
- May 26, 2024
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
A couple of weeks after I wrote this, it was announced that the company was being broken up, and the person sent out by the new owner to tell us about the new and exciting changes boasted about a software suite developed in-house which is light years better than the industry standard which we currently use.
It was obvious that the guy was full of shit, but I began watching training videos yesterday and was blown away when I got to a segment which said that the same error messages would pop up every time we logged in, and that we would have to navigate around them. There is also a specific window which can't be left open because the software will crash for everyone in the building if too many people are accessing it at once. You would think that someone on this top tier dev team they employ would try to fix these problems, but instead they decided to write their janky workarounds into the script. I'd bet anything that they are all pajeets.
I was conflicted about staying on through the new year after seeing the obvious disdain the guy had for the employees and finding out about the 6% pay cuts and elimination of performance bonuses after he left the building, but that shit settled things for me. Now, I don't plan on quitting – I'm just not going to show up after October 1st, with or without a new job. My LinkedIn is updated, applications are being spammed. Fuck them.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2022
I don't want to sound like a callous motherfucker here, it's clear you're going through some very heavy shit but after reading your post my first thought was "At least this dude is watching good anime".
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2023
Im done. There is no value to my life, adulthood is just going to be an endless deterioration to death through physical pain and mental anguish. My eyesight is getting worse, I can't reduce my tech usage cause work demands it, my neck and back hurts from sitting all day, I don't even have control over my own health with the endless other problems I have. I don't get the time to develop skills, I don't get the time to engage in any hobby, I don't have control over any fucking thing. The past 6 years have just been absolute crap, I can't get good grades whatsover, I can't get a high percentile, I can't be great at my job, no amount of work amounts to anything anywhere. I'm tired of living for the sake of other people, I'm tired of living for the sake of a nonexistent future wife and kids, I can't deal anymore with forces which conspire against me to rob me of my autonomy. Everyday is just the endless loop of routine over and over again, I gain almost nothing from it and I don't want to do it. Everybody seems averse to my existence, I can't get friends family partners whoever, everybody just seems to hate everything I do every step I take. I can't get off the internet, my computer keeps failing no matter how much money I waste on parts and repair, I can't exercise a modicum of self control over even the mundanest of shite and everything is going wrong all around me all the fucking time. I can't be better than anybody at anything, I can't get a good job, I can't get friends, I can't get women, I can't achieve anything, I can't create anything, I cannot even code really good cause the Jews run the internet and everything has to be shit. My life has no value, lower value than lowtax, at least he was the father of social media, I can't even get women to talk to for more than 10 seconds or code something useful. I'm very very lucid and very very close to snapping. I genuinely have nothing to live for and I want to anhero. Kf is the closest Ive had to friends as of late even if I'm the smelly spergy jeet moid who nobody likes. So thank you to everyone who put up with my useless fucking shit, thanks to josh for keeping it up, I was at least able to get it out instead of bottling it up 24/7. If I end up anheroing, catch you all on the flip side, Hermie. There is no divine Providence, Job is a fucking nigger and God likes to sit on his fat ass watching the world go to shit. Peoples lives mean nothing.
CowPox
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2022
Life will give you another mouthful of shit tomorrow and you're going to chew and swallow it. Hit the weights crybaby.
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2021
I'm somewhat okay. Got a job interview and I think they liked me, let's hope the payment is higher than my current one.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2020
Today I was at a supermarket and saw a guy who looked just like Joshua Tomar of Oneyplays fame. Given my geographical position, it obviously couldn't be him, so I just thought to myself the overplayed Oneyplays meme "Look, Tomar, It's you!".
But when I was on the check-out line, I saw a guy who was identical to Vaush. Like 1:1. Again, impossible that he's here.
And a couple hours later I take my dog out for a walk and who do I see? A guy who looks indistinguishable from Wings of Redemption.
WHAT THE FUCK, MAN
But when I was on the check-out line, I saw a guy who was identical to Vaush. Like 1:1. Again, impossible that he's here.
And a couple hours later I take my dog out for a walk and who do I see? A guy who looks indistinguishable from Wings of Redemption.
WHAT THE FUCK, MAN
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2022
I'm a retard and just started taking my old dose of NDRI instead of tapering on when I already have issues with anxiety and hypervigilance, currently feeling like in the movies when someone gets injected with adrenaline.
Can't imagine why the fuck Democrats and Hollywood actors harvest this shit from the adrenal glands of living children in the back rooms of pizzerias, I am not having a good time right now.
Gonna go break some PRs.
Can't imagine why the fuck Democrats and Hollywood actors harvest this shit from the adrenal glands of living children in the back rooms of pizzerias, I am not having a good time right now.
Gonna go break some PRs.
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023