How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Shitted Scaredless said:
I was depressed, but then dad brought home a dog some Mexicans pawned off on him. Grandma and grandpa aren't happy about it.

Dad's not going to keep her, but I can tell he'll have a hard time letting go. He's one of the "I don't like dogs," types. You know the ones.

Her name is Luna, she's some kind of rot or pit mix, but very sweet at least.

Grandma thinks maybe the Mexicans were going to eat her, or that they stole her. All I know is they were apparently going home and couldn't feed her.

Idk. Suprise puppy to lift my spirits.
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Luna tax.
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Ebony Odogaron said:
I'm depressed. Sad. Frustrated.

I'm sexually and emotionally frustrated, and my attempts at dating have left me mentally exhausted. I'm in a point in my life where I should be celebrating with people over the many successes in the last year and I have nothing, and no one to celebrate with.

I have needs which I cannot have met despite my attempts, and my lack of attempts and I can't explain myself any better than that. Just burnt out in most ways related to my lack of connection to the world around me.
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Well I have some good news for you! Once you reach that point of giving up and not caring - someone will come into your life. That's how it's been for me before anyways. I think it's because you don't care as much if there's a spark you're less likely to spill your spaghetti.

Are you asking for feedback post date? Most people are open to giving if you say to them you're serious about finding someone.

As for general connections any local clubs, interest groups, people from work who you would want to go for a beer or coffee with?

I can empathise - although I'm quite introverted that human connection is really important and can leave one feeling hollow without.
 
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Lukie said:
Well I have some good news for you! Once you reach that point of giving up and not caring - someone will come into your life. That's how it's been for me before anyways. I think it's because you don't care as much if there's a spark you're less likely to spill your spaghetti.

Are you asking for feedback post date? Most people are open to giving if you say to them you're serious about finding someone.

As for general connections any local clubs, interest groups, people from work who you would want to go for a beer or coffee with?

I can empathise - although I'm quite introverted that human connection is really important and can leave one feeling hollow without.
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I hate that advice. It feels like a slap in the face, especially when that "someone" comes into your life and actively makes things worse or just gaslight you.

I'm just venting, primarily. There's no "feedback" to be had when no one is wanting to date you to begin with, and all advances are just halted or otherwise fail to launch into anything.
 
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Ebony Odogaron said:
I hate that advice. It feels like a slap in the face, especially when that "someone" comes into your life and actively makes things worse or just gaslight you.

I'm just venting, primarily. There's no "feedback" to be had when no one is wanting to date you to begin with, and all advances are just halted or otherwise fail to launch into anything.
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I mean you can hate the advice that's fine. It was frustrating realisation at the end of my dry spell!

Seems like you have a few things going. Happy to have a natter if you want to send me DM.
 
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Shitted Scaredless said:
Luna tax.
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Kind of rules he just came home with a dog, no strings attached. She's cute as all get out.


I'm on day five absolutely getting my ass handed to me by a cold. I've had covid and pneumonia before and this stupid cold is up there with them both. I wish I could go back and psychically tell what fucker coughed on me and have my revenge.
 
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It's not that I'm powerless, I'm just clueless.

I genuinely do not know how I can fix my life. People only ever give blanket advice and nothing blunt and simple.

I'm tempted to find another therapist but it's just... It doesn't help. I feel like the people I talk to only ever talk in abstracts, that or the points they make are far too vague.

I am trying to fix some small things, little by little helps I guess. I'm trying to kick my painkiller addiction by tapering off with kratom. I've fixed my diet a little bit and I've been trying to get my health issues resolved.

I just want to live a fairly normal life, it feels like its possible but realistically I don't know if it is. Not having any sort of support structure is fucking awful and doesn't help my sperg ass at all.
 
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The freeze/thaw cycling this season has fucked something up at my spring head and I am not excited to work on my springs plumbing when it is intermittently snowing and raining out. (:_(
 
obsdj said:
My car battery keeps draining. No idea what’s doing it. I was told the alternator is fine, and I never even turn on the lights since my eyes are too shot to drive in the dark, so it’s not me leaving them on. Very, very aggravated to be dealing with this on top of all my other problems, of which there are many. I seem to have the worst luck with cars.
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This happened to me too, the battery would be dead after sitting in the driveway overnight. Took it into the dealership and they found the problem, it was a broken seat control switch. Somehow that one small thing causes a drain on the battery. Fixed the switch and no more dead battery.

I also went to an auto supply store and got a mini charger to jump the battery if it ever happens again. They’re ultra small and compact these days and keep a charge forever so you can just keep it in your car for peace of mind.
 
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Money is a bit tight and that's mildly stressing but it's nothing critical. I spent quite a bit on exercise equipment but I've got more coming with my paycheck coming soon.

So, to focus on the positive, I've got new exercise equipment! I lost my home gym due to moving a few times in quick succession but now I'm rebuilding it. Been eager to get back into running and lifting. So, overall, I would say I'm doing pretty good.

Stay positive, Kiwis
 
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Shitted Scaredless said:
Cats found. Crisis averted. I feel silly.
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Apple finally lost monopoly on their "crowd-sourced" apple tag GPS technology and Android got some tags of their own through motorola with the same feature. I'd suggest getting one on a collar for your cats if they frequently get out. In this day and age the sheer concept of not having a tracker on your cat.. or your car for that matter, is nuts.
Shitted Scaredless said:
Dad's not going to keep her, but I can tell he'll have a hard time letting go. He's one of the "I don't like dogs," types. You know the ones.
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r/dadswhodidnotwantpets. It's funny how people always think of getting a pet as this huge risky undertaking when in reality, if you're not broke as shit, you can make it work. If the homeless can, so can you. Often it's a warranted challenge. Adults quickly become used to never being challenged and it's why life moves faster and faster, I've read. Two coworkers, granted used to having dogs, got sibling pups a year ago. One went to get one and the other said to her husband "They're out getting a dog >:(", so they drove out and got one too.
Ebony Odogaron said:
I hate that advice. It feels like a slap in the face, especially when that "someone" comes into your life and actively makes things worse or just gaslight you.
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The reason Chad gets the lady is cause the lady is of no importance to him. You have to become confident in not caring of the outcome, which in turn brings out your personality. I get SOME activity on dating apps, but I've slowly realized I don't swipe on more than 1 in 30 cause I'm looking for my few chances to be worthwhile. Share some hobbies, have the same amount of text in our bios, have the same picture vibes. Sit back with a sliver of confidence: "We matched each other but this dumb bitch replies in single words and have no desire to dig or share". Unmatch, move on.

No, relationships won't land in your lap. Even the most desirable bachelor has to put himself in a position to meet new people, but you need to function on your own; be interesting enough that someone would want a piece of that life. Imagine swiping through Tinder and seeing a simple, even dull chick having "I fucking love trains/original Fallout/Dwarf Fortress/that one niche thing that isn't sexy in the slightest". Even if you're not into it, you'd be interested in this person solely because they dare stand by their passions (probably because it still gets them attention in a primarily male space). Be that person. You only need 1 match, however good tens of them feel.

The simple fact I have a cat has gotten me a lot more attention because it implies I've more important 'people' in my life than this random match AND it's easy, in their eyes, to replace my cat as an object of affection. Of the last 3 matches of quality, they've all 'jokingly' talked about stealing the attention I give my cat, two of whom used the glaringly obvious innuendo of "pussy". Women can rarely think for themselves, needing external validation such as a wedding band as proof that "someone else felt this man was good enough". Often, this external validation can simply be having hobbies. "I'd rather be reading than entertaining any odd woman giving me attention".

I'm average. I put in the hours because I'm not confident in the quality of my work, but I read, I got a car, I got a cat and I've the balls to go "I play games now and then" instead of "I love adventure and travelling :)". It's scary to be true to yourself, but it nets you infinitely better results. What most men then lack on top of this is the "putting yourself in a place to be woo'd". In this modern era, that means actually dressing up and taking pictures. Go through any social media, it's literally what women do on the daily and we've just written it off as normal. It's not fucking normal to dress in a bikini in your bedroom and taking pictures in the middle of november to put on social media. But god forbid a man puts on a nice shirt and does the same.

I saw a youtube short of a guy sitting down in a cat cafe, not giving attention to any of them. They were as if magnetized to him. Then he petted them and they all left. Pussy is pussy, treat it accordingly. People tend to pick the pup of the litter in the back, not the one that immediately clings to anyone putting their legs in the pen.
 
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I need to cave the fuck in and have this trauma dealt with. I cannot fucking sleep and I've been denying it for fucking YEARS.

Normal people do not have panic attacks every night before sleep and relive fucked up shit every fucking night.

I am realizing one thing I am slightly proud of now. I am genuinely better than my fucked up abusive mother. I am able to not act on my shitty angry urges.

I do have some power and that feels good I guess.
 
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