How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Loneliness is particularly getting to me these days. Not enjoying my time on the planet, I find occasional copes but my general experience here is not very good.
I just want friends. I want to experience love and the feeling of being wanted. I've never experienced either and the closest I've gotten to friendship is people stabbing me in the back.

It's a really pathetic powerlevel but genuinely the only place I have to talk to people is here or shitty ass discord. Autism fucking sucks. I wish there was proper therapy to make me become "normal" but I don't think such a thing exists.

I joke to everyone about there being a "normal switch" for autism but I can do it only once and it leaves a mess. Nobody seems to enjoy the joke I'm afraid lol

Any of you cursed with this bullshit manage to make something of your lives? If so how did you fix it? Or am I just fucking doomed to be stuck in a room 24/7 reliant on SSI, going to useless therapists and taking useless meds that don't do anything besides make me actively suicidal or sleep all day.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Loneliness is particularly getting to me these days. Not enjoying my time on the planet, I find occasional copes but my general experience here is not very good.
I just want friends. I want to experience love and the feeling of being wanted. I've never experienced either and the closest I've gotten to friendship is people stabbing me in the back.

It's a really pathetic powerlevel but genuinely the only place I have to talk to people is here or shitty ass discord. Autism fucking sucks. I wish there was proper therapy to make me become "normal" but I don't think such a thing exists.

I joke to everyone about there being a "normal switch" for autism but I can do it only once and it leaves a mess. Nobody seems to enjoy the joke I'm afraid lol

Any of you cursed with this bullshit manage to make something of your lives? If so how did you fix it? Or am I just fucking doomed to be stuck in a room 24/7 reliant on SSI, going to useless therapists and taking useless meds that don't do anything besides make me actively suicidal or sleep all day.

Hi, my name is Not a Bunny.

I grew up in a family that actively prevented me from building relationships as a child which has hampered my ability to build relationships as an adult. For me, I may be autistic (not formally diagnosed), but there's no functional difference between what I am and what people think "autistic" is, because people treat me the same.

The first thing you do in this situation, cliche though it is, is get out and do stuff. Meet people. Put yourself in the way of making friends with people. Here is the most important part: do it consistently. It's hard if you're not socially inclined (introvert, autism, whatever) and it drains you, but normal people expect that if you want a relationship, you have to demonstrate that you are reliable enough to be part of one.

Find a club or group you like. Make sure they meet regularly and mark it out in your schedule that you must be there, no excuses.

Talk to people. Even if you're not interested in them, act like you are. There is nothing people like more than people that are interested in them. Be patient, and they'll let you talk about you too.

Ask people to hang out. In the real world. Don't social media them; go straight to: let's do this IRL fun thing.

I know it's hard to get out of your own head when you're the only person in it, but if you want change, you have to do the hard thing, and that is: letting other people be the focus for a little while.

 

[Nick Obre]

Y

You’re not actually putting aside your insufferable atheism. Everything you’re saying here is insufferable and not helpful.

Keep suffering over literally nothing, then

 

[PonderosaPete]

After finally getting rid of the people that put so much stress in my life, I'm feeling a lot better. For a while it was nice meeting new people, but when that group is just a depressing circle jerk, it really wore down my spirit and soul. Instead I've just been going out, seeing old friends, and generally, doing things that I enjoy again. I worry some people only want to wallow in their own pessimism. God bless everyone in this thread. May you find the strength to overcome the trials in your life.

 

[missnaptime]

After finally getting rid of the people that put so much stress in my life, I'm feeling a lot better. For a while it was nice meeting new people, but when that group is just a depressing circle jerk, it really wore down my spirit and soul. Instead I've just been going out, seeing old friends, and generally, doing things that I enjoy again. I worry some people only want to wallow in their own pessimism. God bless everyone in this thread. May you find the strength to overcome the trials in your life.

know i'm a random in the internet, but here's to better days. we're gonna make it, fren. <3 god bless, keep on pushing!!

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Consoling a friend who has a buddy living in Sweden. He's not well mentally because of the school shooting that just happened.

Buddy is unharmed but traumatized. Shits rough.

 

[Sillyclown]

It's zo over bros.

 

[Soup ‘n’ Salad]

Husband quit his shitty online customer service job the other day, and now I can turn his work laptop into our new Plex server! YIPPEEEEE

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

I just want friends.

It’s not as good as irl but if you’re desperate for human contact DM me about all your spergey interests and life, I will listen and reply to that shit no problem. Be warned: I am boring and old and my only interests are old video games, lolcows, drama, and my kid. But I will listen!!

I grew up in a family that actively prevented me from building relationships as a child

How did they do this? Am worried I’m not trying hard enough to make my wee one be social because I won’t put Kid DeLawyer in daycare and I do not particularly value interaction with strangers and their cocomelon addicted screen goblins.

 

[Axiom.]

It's a long road ahead of me but at least I can say the worst is behind me, it's been a hell of a ride.

 

[Not A Bunny]

How did they do this?

I don't think you have anything to worry about as long as you're a model for a good upbringing.

Spoiler: Power Level

I lived in what was functionally a cult in which my father was the leader that dictated everything. He and my mother didn't much care that I didn't have a lot of friends. I have a theory that they were almost kind of happy about it. Also, because we were in a small school, my psycho asshole brother decided that he would spread rumors about me so other kids wouldn't want to make friends with me, which I can't imagine my teachers and parents knew nothing about. I'm certain that my parents probably heard more than once that Not a Bunny is alone all the time and had no friends. Much like my brother's propensity for hitting people, they probably said, "eh, what are you going to do?"

I spent the better part of high school practically screaming for help, and because I couldn't make friends, I was just Not a Bunny's Brother's Weird Sister that lies about her family being abusive, and people completely ignored me.

My childhood was the result of active malice, not just neglect. If your kid finds it okay to make friends or not make friends, kiddo should be okay, because there's always an element of choice. I didn't have any choices.

 

[WASR96]

Been slammed at work. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. My back pain has been getting so bad, it wakes me up around 2am and prevents me from falling asleep again. Been angrily going and trying to sleep on my recliner since it stops the shooting pain if I'm still sitting up. The cat has been happy with this arrangement so at least someone is having a good time.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

I'm weirdly ready to cry out of frustation.

My boss has been trying to make me work on the company's SoMe blog posts and that's what it is but I'm a bit lost because I got a degree in contemporary literature, zero marketing skills and I'm trying to explain to him that I would like something concrete to work with. Cases, milestones, customers, fucking employees, something or another tangible.

But in turn he's been over-explaining to me the abstract thematics of what he wants by trying to "unite" the concept of an autobiography, a regular biography, fiction, and marketing.

I'm like "Dude, just tell me what you want me to write about" but evidently he's fundamentally misunderstanding me when I say "I understand. But I just need something tangible that I can punch into a word document and post. Something to actually work with".

Side note; it's unpaid. I'm not paid at all for this which is fine. I'm here for the experience but I'm like....kinda ready to start screaming because I just want to get this shit done.

"Oh, but you do some research on your own!"

And I can do that but...fuck me, man. You asked me to do this. You gotta give me something to work with. Man, feel like I'm about to cry almost.

Maybe I'm fundamentally misunderstanding this SoMe bullshit. I use social media once in a blue moon so I'm also not stalking Apple's Facebook posts. At the same time, maybe it's literally my job to make up posts and be the internet's mouth piece for the company,

 

[Core Theorist]

Straight up chillin'! I've been playing minecraft with some gay ass spooky modpack, I removed all the jumpscare shit and added my favorite QoL mods and have been having fun. I'm very easily spoopied but we're gaming.

besides that, I got accepted into more edumacashun! It's probably a waste of time but I still can't find work and the government is paying for it anyway, so it's something to do with my free time besides zerkin' off and playing minecraft. I start in a few months!

 

[Lukie]

Gf's Mum is very close to the end now. She was taken into hospital yesterday morning after a fall.

She's scared of dying and it's heartbreaking. They are shortly going to put her under with morphine injection then take her off oxygen.

 

[Grundlejungle]

I had an upswing at the beginning of the year, followed by a significant increase in stressors and bad luck driving everything into a serious downswing. The panic attacks have returned in full force, and I'm having trouble eating/sleeping again. I feel like I actively get punished for any attempt at getting better, and I don't think I can take much more before something gives out.
I'm tired boss.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Tired of feeling emptiness, tired of heartsinking blight, tired of wanting to be loved and appreciated, tired of moodswings oscillating between depressed and modest. All that for no reason whatsoever.
I'm going to visit a psychiatrist tomorrow morning. I want changes, I don't want to be a mockery to life, something between an animated corpse and a newly hatched nestling. I can't take this anymore. I want to wrest it out, I want to be normal, I want to be more sincere and expressive, I want to be more vivid. I want to fear outside world no more and be a loveable and mindful man humble about his place in the world and satisfied with it.
Wish me luck

 

[obsdj]

Tired of feeling emptiness, tired of heartsinking blight, tired of wanting to be loved and appreciated, tired of moodswings oscillating between depressed and modest. All that for no reason whatsoever.
I'm going to visit a psychiatrist tomorrow morning. I want changes, I don't want to be a mockery to life, something between an animated corpse and a newly hatched nestling. I can't take this anymore. I want to wrest it out, I want to be normal, I want to be more sincere and expressive, I want to be more vivid. I want to fear outside world no more and be a loveable and mindful man humble about his place in the world and satisfied with it.
Wish me luck

Good luck to you. Keep in mind, you can switch doctors if you don't think you're matched up with the right one, but give it a chance, don't be too reactive.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Good luck to you. Keep in mind, you can switch doctors if you don't think you're matched up with the right one, but give it a chance, don't be too reactive.

> Wait until you get my bill

 

[missnaptime]

Gf's Mum is very close to the end now. She was taken into hospital yesterday morning after a fall.

She's scared of dying and it's heartbreaking. They are shortly going to put her under with morphine injection then take her off oxygen.

i'm so so sorry. i'll be praying for you and your family. sending all my support to you all at this time <3