How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Scream Aim Fire]

Yeah, so the overnight shift at my new workplace is... a wee bit difficult. Lots of lights, noise, godawful smells, the whole shebang; haven't delt with any crap customers as of yet, but that will likely change in the future. Nerves are already a bit shot; doing my best to keep my head up, do my job, but it's a bit more stressful for me than what some people might think. Doesn't help that this job feels like it takes a lot longer than the other ones I've worked; it gets tedious fast.

Writing's got some snags as well; first one's character design, as I've got several designs for the MC that all have some form of storyline and motifs associated with them, I just can't choose which one I like the best right now. The other issue is the plot itself; I was planning on a World of Darkness-inspired storyline, sort of like a "what-if" if the Masquerade got broken/fractured, and I had a TON of ideas for a post-collapse current plot - a solid introduction, a general idea on where to go, everything. Issue is, I was also considering scrapping the current plot and going for a more sci-fi angle, with space travel and storylines set on different planets and such; the problem with that is that it doesn't fit with the "WoD"/urban fantasy angle that I was wanting to lean towards as well, unless there's something in the WoD that I'm missing... Anyone got suggestions?

EDIT: Ironically, just after I posted this, I ended up figuring something out for my writing stuff. So, disregard the last bits there.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I swear my cat knows when I'm feeling down. He'll come right up to me and just flop on the ground and act extra cute, it's like he knows it will make me smile and feel better.

I think, cats do that with people they adore, so lucky you.

Meanwhile, I feel conflicted about my cat. On the one hand, I want to let her roam free since she is obviously not too happy about being indoors. On the other, there is a road nearby and the terrain makes it difficult to search for her. Also, there are stray cats and I know nobody to give kittens to.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

Got a new job finally, seems really nice. Previously I was working for a workplace that had 12 help desk employees (including me) doing tier 3 IT work across a few different networks supporting 5000 people which was nice but also a pain in the ass. However this job is tier 1 on one (technically two) networks and all we do tbh is image laptops and go to peoples desks and jostle cables to get their shit to work, supporting under 1000 people with 10 employees and I make $5k more here. Once I get done with training (as if theres anything to train with shit as simple as this) I can probably start college here and work on the job since theres so little work to be done.

Also, everything but the deadlift mats for my home gym is here, just need to get off my ass and assemble the things. Also I need to clean my house.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

It's pre-Friday evening

 

[Optavia Sales Rep]

Things with dad are getting grim, and it's sapping any empathy/patience I have for other people's silly drama. Work is looking up, a possible promotion in the works. I'd like to get it so mum can quit working and enjoy her time with dad more.

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Doing a bit better. Got a second job on top of my primary, school is shit. I feel like im not retaining any information. I know im not dumb or retarded but this shit is just degrading because I'm not getting any hands on experience and have classes once a week. I study, but nothing seems to stick.
On top of that, I have to pack and see family I don't want to interact with during Spring Break. It's fucking disheartening and I feel like whenever I get something good, I get kicked down in another aspect.

 

[DickMain]

Tired. Woke up an hour ago, but the first night it was finally warm enough after winter to leave the windows open overnight and now my house smells nice and fresh. And there are birds outside singing. So it's going well.

 

[obsdj]

Fucking exhausted. Stressed out, worried about my potential upcoming move that I can't afford, worried about facing the long, hot summer if it falls through, worried that I won't ever be able to save money for something better now if I go through with it. So, so tired and pissed off at all the circumstances that have put me in this position.

 

[Beautiful Loser]

It's absolutely exhausting dealing with family that are completely lost in the hyper partisan sauce.
"Antifa can't be fascistic, they're called anti fascist"
"Ackshully it was the Drumphlermort chuds that burned down their cities in the summer of love"
"I don't wear dresses or makeup thus I am a man"
I mean, she still believes the whole "fine people" after showing her the full video not once, not twice but thrice. I can bring the horse to water, but "The water is orange man koolaid"

 

[Lovely Kin]

Relieved I lost one of my few woke friends over something I did ten fucking years ago. I was fourteen then. How does anyone remember that? He was more just a distant friend at this point, but god was I confused.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Every fucking day is the same. Nothing changes. Nothing I do has any effect whatsoever. I'm going insane. "Nuts" perhaps if I'm gonna joke about my profile.

I'm turning 28 soon and it's getting to my fucking head. I am a fucking flat broke, ugly autistic depressed loser with no friends, no relationships with anyone whatsoever, family that resents my ass and jack fucking shit.

I'm legitimately turning grey watching everyone around me progress when I'm fucking stuck. I don't know how much longer I can take this shit. I'm fucking tired of ranting and seeing nothing change.

I'm just an embarrassing disappointment to fucking everyone around me. I can't do fucking shit. I'm extremely fucking lonely. Yes, I "try things". No it doesn't work. I'm not a fucking human clearly.

If I died in my sleep that would be a fucking blessing to me and everyone around me, I'm a fucking burdensome black hole of a "being".

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

No it doesn't work.

You probably have expectations that are too high. Just lower them down.

I'm not a fucking human clearly.

Obviously, you are a squirrel.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

It's Friday evening, ethanol cleans things well.

 

[Vapor Sauce]

I swear my cat knows when I'm feeling down. He'll come right up to me and just flop on the ground and act extra cute, it's like he knows it will make me smile and feel better.

Cats are amazing. When I went through a particular rough patch my cat and I developed a routine that we did every night when I went to bed. She'd come in and wait for me to get up. She was old and couldn't jump on her own anymore. I'd get up, she'd walk in a circle around me then sit and stare at me until I picked her up and put her on my bed. She would sleep on top of this old hoodie I had that was at the foot of my bed. She did this for years. When she passed away I buried her with that hoodie. I still miss her.

 

[Lovely Kin]

Excited for my friend who's getting married soon. Wish I was able to go but flying is so expensive and he went back to his own country. Decided to send a gift instead.

 

[Nick Obre]

Bit annoyed. Been seeing this woman (yes, one of the ones I mentioned in an earlier post, the one that wasn't really my usual type but was liking more the more I got to know her), and it's a whole thing now. We talk every day, we get along great, amazing chemistry when we're together, and so on.
The problem? We have a hard time with scheduling, and it's mostly on her side. My kid lives with me half the time, so it's one week me, one week the mom, so I'm not available during that time (although with the possibility of negotiating schedules with kid's mom as needed, in either direction). The woman has kids too, but no such support systems. It's difficult for her to arrange someone to look after the kids, so more than once we've had plans that got cancelled because something she had arranged fell through.
And of course, the children are the absolute first priority for both of us. I would never resent that.

Still, it's a bit annoying. Also a bit annoyed, or maybe concerned, that she's rather pessimistic about it and more than once has said things along the lines that "maybe it's not gonna work because of this and maybe you should just move on."
But I like her, and I understand the situation better than most. Just a matter of patience.
But ultimately she's right, if we don't work in the end, it'll most likely because of scheduling issues, which is a shit fucking reason for a relationship to fail, but it happens.

 

[IKOL]

New attempt at finding place to work at. Three to pick, two of which I'm well familiar with in various ways, last one is like a black sheep to me yet I saw this place plenty of times and aware of body of work.

Waiting next week for first two, latter one gonna have interview tomorrow.
That's all I have to say. Oh wait, no. One more thing.

I'm planning on streaming tomorrow. Thoughts about where to stream, still uncertain because I have like 6 variants to choose and none of them feel like the correct choice. That be Youtube (and I don't have explain why it's a bad choice, do I), Twitch (for mostly same reasons but art shit have somewhat of bigger audience there), Picarto (was initial idea but I feel like scratch this one. It's mostly for gooner shit and I'm not into drawing porn or anytihng close to it), VK.ru (NO, instant), Rumble and Odyssey. In case I'll pick a place after all and if it happen before 6 pm Moscow time then I'm good to go and I'll do one, if later well, I'll simply shift stream to the next day, no biggie.
And that's about it...

 

[niggercattle]

I am a fucking flat broke, ugly autistic depressed loser with no friends, no relationships with anyone whatsoever, family that resents my ass and jack fucking shit.

Hey, look at the bright side. All you need to do now is to put on a hundred pounds of pure fat and you'll be in optimal condition for running an internet gossip website.

 

[Moomalade]

I'm good, but also hanging in there. Busier than I'd like to be, but that's life. In the meantime, and I know this will sound autistic, but I'm actually grateful that I don't have a social life. I don't feel like I've lost or am missing out on anything. Certain coworkers try to change my mind on the matter, but it never works.

You've made the correct decision. A social life is a big commitment with questionable returns. It is akin to a tire with a slow puncture, always needing pumping to maintain pressure, the minute you stop giving that energy, it fritters away over time.
This is not the same as genuine friendship.

 

[Mayor Cody Travers]

Work is going very well - first full week just completed and about two weeks total (week one was a four-day). Boss noted he was happy with my progress, glad I was taking on stuff to fix up even just two weeks in before the discipline and its equipment I was ACTUALLY hired to train on was set up (we’re waiting on it to be fixed), and stated explicitly he saw I was asking co-workers (who are quite cool, btw) on what they were doing to learn.

Things looking up overall with that as a foundation. I'm dealing with a friend in the area tomorrow, I'm not quite up for it at the moment since I wanted to focus on getting more furniture for my place and relax from work, but he was eager to see me so I'll roll with it and chill out otherwise. I'm eager to get the apartment livable so when I pluck my cat from the family home she slides right into feeling it's cozy and comfortable.

If I can get work truly secured... and that looks doable... and get my cat used to here... and that's very possible since she wants to be with me most of all and it's safe for her amble outside when need be... I think all that's left is finding someone special and I can finally call life good the way I always wanted it to be good.