How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Fuck my retard incel chud old man life bro I just did the most Tom & Jerry type thing I've ever done in the last few years. :stress:

The setting:
I'm in the bathroom moving clothes from the washing machine into the dryer.
The dryer is next to the washing machine, and behind them is the sink.
It is a kind of oldschoolish sink that is not embedded in a cabinet.
I just finished loading the clothes into the dryer and I am kneeling down in front of it.
What happened:
I get up, but somehow miscalculate that the sink is behind me and slightly hit my lower back against it as I am getting up.
As I instinctually recoil from the sink's sneak attack, I overcorrect leaning forward and bump my knee into the washing machine door which I had not closed all the way.
It's not a particularly hard blow but it hits the knee at just the right angle so that it hurts like a bitch!

The whole thing happened so fast and was incredibly painful and funny at the same time. :story: I was fine a minute later but anyone who banged their knee or toe into something knows what I'm talking about.
It was really like one of those cartoon moments where the character steps on a rake and then a bucket falls on his head or something.
 
Dude (dudette?) trust me, there is a point. If nothing else, no matter what, you can figure out a way to drag someone down with you. Nothing helps a bad mood better than making someone elses day worse.
Being kind is one of the only things that makes me feel better. I don't even troll, I consume the content trolls make- and if someone deserves it, I try to help them. I've stopped suicides before but I worry if I am unable to stop my own.
 
So I'm on my way home from work and I'm on board the light rail and the conductor is going around, making sure everyone got tickets or checked in via the travel cards (or app) and he goes to some Arab and this guy has neither so naturally dude is getting fined. And that's quite a lot of money. 750 in my currency or about 80 dollars.

And the conductor tells him this and prints out the fine and the dude.....starts crying. He's crying and begging and weeping and cooking up some sob story about his sick grandma or whatever in really broken English and says he'll do better next time and other shit and says "Please have mercy" and shit. It was fucking funny

And the conductor does not give a single shit, he just sticks with the guy and follows him out of the light rail when they go off board, to make sure he doesn't run off without getting his fine. I had to go off board too and Arab just bumped into me. Asshole.

I have gotten a fine ten years ago. It's expensive. So to a degree I feel sympathetic. But two things.

1. The light rail drive every 15 minutes.
2. There's a ticket stand at every station. How come you not fucking buy a ticket? It's so convenient than it was a decade ago.

But the guy straight up crying and begged and what not and I'm sorry but it was fucking funny.

And I tried hard not to burst out laughing. Though I did smile when he jogged away after getting his fine, fucking crying loudly and kicking a trash can. Lmao get fucked
 
Get a notebook and keep it by or in your bed with a pen. Jot down your brilliance when you're experiencing it. Might do nothing, might alleviate some frustration, or might result in something actionable. Whichever, might be less frustrating.
Thank you, but I already write down all of my flippancies. My main problem is instead having all of these notes that won't actually turn into anything. Oh, well, if I'm ever in a position to do something it's not like I'll have a dearth of options, so I guess I should be grateful, right?
 
Leaving the gym last night I overheard a lovers quarrel between some wiggers in a fast food parking lot across the street, I hung around a minute in case it escalated into domestic violence and it didn't but before the female drove off and left the male crying on the curb I'm pretty sure I heard her shout "You're a perverted pig and you'll never be a girl" and all I can say is god damn does it feel good to be on my side of the street instead of over there.
 
Woke up early by my standards, feeling kinda meh but decided to put on some lolcow content like MATI and some of Bitesized Cobra Videos' documentaries, then headed for the dog park with da dawg.
She's not one to complain and we ended up being gone from the house for 2.5 hours. I bought some lunch, a protein salad with lots of cabbage and some quinoa, and some potstickers because I had a discount coupon on them. Got a soda as well because I am weak.
Now I'm just relaxing until my mother gets off work and I'm meeting her at the lidl close to me.

Cheers, hope everyone has a good day.
 
Fucking rain. Why will it not stop raining this is not blade runner!
It just means that dog will get a shorter walk and she will hate her rain jacket more than she hates the rain.
It makes me sad, maybe her last family left her out a lot :'(
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I got a double-yolker when I cracked my morning egg into the pan. I am cautiously optimistic that this means today will be a good day. Sometimes, it's the little things.

...Most times, really.
 
Maybe I am too hard on myself. I would see a therapist, and the psych recommended I do, but I'm wary that they'll tell me something dumb like "You should be proud to be black". I wish there was such a thing as Kiwifarms therapy where a racist alt-right guy told you how you should actually feel about being black.
then headed for the dog park with da dawg.
Idk if this is too personal to ask, but what breed is she? Sorry I really like dogs.
 
I wish there was such a thing as Kiwifarms therapy where a racist alt-right guy told you how you should actually feel about being black.
You shouldn't feel any kind of way. It's like saying how would you feel if you had two hands, or how would you feel if you had a liver. Sry if you have 3 hands or no liver or something btw. But why would you have to feel some special kind of way about being a certain way? Sure it's part of you, but it's not the whole you.
As a racist alt-right guy (so I've been told?) I would say the way you should feel is to stop obsessing about it.
 
Idk if this is too personal to ask, but what breed is she? Sorry I really like dogs.
Not at all. She is a mutt, rescued from BosniaI don't have a facebook anymore so you could dox me but it won't be accurate so I don't really give a shit lol.
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One of my fav pics of Coco from when she was a great deal younger. Imagine this but a lot fluffier and white around the tip of her muzzle.
 
Not at all. She is a mutt, rescued from BosniaI don't have a facebook anymore so you could dox me but it won't be accurate so I don't really give a shit lol.
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One of my fav pics of Coco from when she was a great deal younger. Imagine this but a lot fluffier and white around the tip of her muzzle.
This looks like one of those aesthetic Pinterest pics, what a beautiful good girl! And now she's even fluffier? Epic.
You shouldn't feel any kind of way. It's like saying how would you feel if you had two hands, or how would you feel if you had a liver. Sry if you have 3 hands or no liver or something btw. But why would you have to feel some special kind of way about being a certain way? Sure it's part of you, but it's not the whole you.
As a racist alt-right guy (so I've been told?) I would say the way you should feel is to stop obsessing about it.
I think it matters to an extent, being black means I'm dumber, more violent, I should be aware of that. My life matters less than a white person's, so I should prioritize white people. I guess that's insofar as much as it matters, so the constant depression and guilt isn't necessary as long as these truths can be swallowed. The problem is getting out of the constant guilt and depression whilst also being aware of reality. It's sort of like an orthorexic trying to get out of the constant fear of sweets whilst also being aware of their blood sugar levels.
 
I wish there was such a thing as Kiwifarms therapy where a racist alt-right guy told you how you should actually feel about being black.
I unironically think Kiwifarms therapy could be a really good thing.
As a racist alt-right person I don't think you should feel any kind of way about being black, I don't even think the idea makes any sense. You certainly shouldn't hate yourself or beat yourself up about it: just think about how insufferable self-hating white people are. Do you want to be like them? NO.

The number of people who actually, genuinely hate every single member of another race is vanishingly small. Even the most enthusiastic jew spergs on here have a soft spot for Stephen Miller.
 
just think about how insufferable self-hating white people are. Do you want to be like them? NO.
I just feel bad for them. They shouldn't feel guilty for something they never did and probably weren't even alive when it happened, no one should. This advice applies to everyone except black people since the bad things that black people do still happen today.
 
Is the thread on the "make fun of retards" and carchive everything" website where I am supposed to vent about the things that are bothing me?
My life is pretty meh.
 
I think it matters to an extent, being black means I'm dumber, more violent, I should be aware of that. My life matters less than a white person's, so I should prioritize white people.
This advice applies to everyone except black people since the bad things that black people do still happen today.
Uncle Auntie Ruckus is that you?! You're more racist than I could ever be, I kneel.
Serious take: It's really fucked up if you are seriously thinking like this about yourself and not shitposting. Everyone should be aware of their own circumstances and take them into account, but you're going way too far with this.
 
Having failed academically, despite being not that far off schedule (a year or two, but who's counting), has been wrecking my mental health, which is expressed as a fear of dying [without having accomplished anything].
I say this as someone who spent far too long in academia; you haven’t failed. You’re a year or two behind? Ok, that’s what’s happened. What have you learned? If it’s grit your teeth and keep working to your goal then congratulations- youve just learned a lesson most graduates never do. Academia feels like everything when you’re in it, but a few years out none of it matters. What matters is how much resilience, grit and ability you have. In life you get success by keeping going, showing up and doing stuff. Not by certificates and academic credentials.
but I'm wary that they'll tell me something dumb like "You should be proud to be black".
That is dumb, being black or white is just something you’re born as. It’d be like someone being proud to not have freckles. The flip side of that coin is that you also shouldn’t be ashamed of it any more than someone should be ashamed of being short or tall. Stop thinking that.
being black means I'm dumber, more violent,
No. It means a group you belong to may be on average. YOU are responsible for your behaviour. Are behaving violently? If no then screw what the rest do.
You need some therapy that’s basically a good supportive slap in the face. Not the yass queen slay type. Go talk to some old people and help someone out, to feel better.
And eat - swinging/low blood sugar will wreck your mood.
You are you. Not your peer group, any more than I’m all women, or responsible for whatever retarded shit the British government is doing this week.
 
I think it matters to an extent, being black means I'm dumber, more violent, I should be aware of that. My life matters less than a white person's, so I should prioritize white people. I guess that's insofar as much as it matters, so the constant depression and guilt isn't necessary as long as these truths can be swallowed. The problem is getting out of the constant guilt and depression whilst also being aware of reality. It's sort of like an orthorexic trying to get out of the constant fear of sweets whilst also being aware of their blood sugar levels.
If you don't act like a nigger then you're not a nigger,simple.
I do hope you ain't trolling about this though.
 
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Hm. Maybe I do need a professional therapist.
You do.
Read up on Circles of Influence, my therapist introduced me to that concept and I think you could really take apart some of your self-hating thoughts with it.
You are not your skin colour's average. You are YOU. And you are clearly suffering.
Be kind to yourself, as difficult as it can be. Practice some self-care today. Eat a solid meal that brings you comfort or watch your favourite movie with your favourite movie snack, or take a long shower and put on a homemade facial mask. Anything that tickles your fancy and feels doable.
 
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