How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Getmeout]

Maybe there's nothing wrong with being black, and nothing wrong with being white. Just like how there's rednecks, there's niggers, and there's good black and white people. Maybe I don't have to forsake my culture, I can just find good aspects of it. The world isn't all doom and gloom and I can be equal to a white person without "acting white", because "acting white" means nothing, so does "acting black". It's stuff we made up. Everyone should just be "acting good".

Just a random thought I had that I'm probably going to immediately forget tomorrow so whateves. Tomorrows Monday, ugh.

 

[Cups2Cups]

Maybe there's nothing wrong with being black, and nothing wrong with being white. Just like how there's rednecks, there's niggers, and there's good black and white people. Maybe I don't have to forsake my culture, I can just find good aspects of it. The world isn't all doom and gloom and I can be equal to a white person without "acting white", because "acting white" means nothing, so does "acting black". It's stuff we made up. Everyone should just be "acting good".

Just a random thought I had that I'm probably going to immediately forget tomorrow so whateves. Tomorrows Monday, ugh.

Sleep well, my troubled friend.

 

[long waters]

Motivation always holds me back. Even if I accomplish something there is no dopamine hit that feels good about it. It just feels like nothing, no matter how hard I worked on it, or how well it came out. I own a big pile of unpainted plastic Warhammer minis that need to be painted, but I hate painting, and even when I do finish models and I think they look cool, it's not something I feel excited about completing. Unless there is a practical motivation, like I have to cook dinner because if I don't eat I will die, then I find it hard to get invested in anything. Some vague promise of good things might possibly happen in the future doesn't help either. Gambling might be motivation for BossManJack but not for me.

I have no idea about fixing motivation. There are two options that I see here, either keep searching and maybe you'll find something that really enraptures you, or fuck motivation and just do it. If you have a lot of minis to paint, don't think about if or why you should paint them, just paint them. Set a day in the week when you paint minis and go for it until they're all done.
Maybe I'm wrong about this and life is not like this for everyone, but I think a lot of things in life are just tedious things we just have to do, and training yourself to get used to doing things and doing them well regardless if you like it or want to or not is a useful ability to have.
This may sound dumb, but I think after messing around with AI a bunch I've started to have a kind of proompter mindset. Like what if I just prompt myself? If I have something I'm aware needs doing, maybe I can just tell myself "hey me, we have this problem that needs solving, i need you to go do the laundry" and like a good little goon I can reply to myself "roger that, you got it boss! i'm on it!"
I guess in a way it's a bit of a schizo thing to do, it is as if you are separating the part of you that gives commands and the part of you that executes them, as if they're not the same. But hey, whatever works.

 

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

Feeling shitty earlier. My phone call w/mom energized me a bit, and cooking dinner. Gym sessions have been alright, mixing cardio and strength training together almost every afternoon. Thinking of lowering it to every other day. Saturday I hadn’t realized how exhausted I really was and my ass was just knocked out for the entire day, using the weather as an excuse.

Having some mixed emotions about my birthday coming up. Lost a lot, gained some, I guess. Trying to stay present and appreciate what I have atm and who I have that are still left.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Maybe there's nothing wrong with being black, and nothing wrong with being white. Just like how there's rednecks, there's niggers, and there's good black and white people. Maybe I don't have to forsake my culture, I can just find good aspects of it. The world isn't all doom and gloom and I can be equal to a white person without "acting white", because "acting white" means nothing, so does "acting black". It's stuff we made up. Everyone should just be "acting good".

Just a random thought I had that I'm probably going to immediately forget tomorrow so whateves. Tomorrows Monday, ugh.

There's shitty people no matter what race or culture they are. There are really cool people too. Yes, even the most loathsome of groups are capable of producing fascinating people or have their facets of good. Some won't accept this or decry it but I've met too many scumbags of all stripes and wonderful people of the same.

The fact that you are showing self-reflection is deeper than many I've met. Sleep well and do your best with who you are. If you do that you're lapping so many people its staggering.

 

[Getmeout]

There's shitty people no matter what race or culture they are. There are really cool people too. Yes, even the most loathsome of groups are capable of producing fascinating people or have their facets of good. Some won't accept this or decry it but I've met too many scumbags of all stripes and wonderful people of the same.

The fact that you are showing self-reflection is deeper than many I've met. Sleep well and do your best with who you are. If you do that you're lapping so many people its staggering.

I agree, for now. By morning I'll probably un-agree. Either way I have to go to bed, I have a busy evening.

Spoiler: Thread tax of something that's been on my mind

I should probably get a new weave soon, or maybe just go natural for the rest of summer cause it's not like I'm going anywhere. Either way, before either of that, I need to get a new razor to feather with. The stylist I go to doesn't know how to cut white hairstyles so usually I have to cut the hair myself when she's done installing it, which I don't mind, but lately it's been taking like 3 hours to cut it cause my razor's just so blunt. Problem is, I sorta forgot where one even buys a razor. From the razor store?

 

[demicolon]

Tomorrow my monthly ration of cracarooski crack will (probably) arrive. AWESOOOOME.

 

[TotalNematodeDeath]

Never thought in my life I would be happy to be a damn painter but it happens I guess, the electrician path fell apart but opened quickly back up to snag a painter role at the same company. Being a government contractor they pay a good amount and until Trump gets out of office we will be getting 15% raises every six months. It ain't glamorous but I lucked out still.

 

[Blanche Devereaux]

I got roped into watching some of the FLDS documentary on Netflix and I had to turn it off because I just started crying, my God I'm so sick of rage fuel as entertainment.

 

[Motherf*cker]

I got roped into watching some of the FLDS documentary on Netflix and I had to turn it off because I just started crying, my God I'm so sick of rage fuel as entertainment.

Are you watching Trust Me: The False Prophet ?

I have mixed feelings about the woman kind of intruding on these people, but at the same time having a thirteen-year old wife is sick. It's sick how these abusive men just keep filling the gap to fulfill their perverted needs in the name of religion.

 

[Total Norman Death]

Never thought in my life I would be happy to be a damn painter but it happens I guess, the electrician path fell apart but opened quickly back up to snag a painter role at the same company. Being a government contractor they pay a good amount and until Trump gets out of office we will be getting 15% raises every six months. It ain't glamorous but I lucked out still.

Grats on the trade gig fellow TND appreciator. If I don't get this sales job I'm interviewing for I jumping for a trade.

 

[Blanche Devereaux]

Are you watching Trust Me: The False Prophet ?

I have mixed feelings about the woman kind of intruding on these people, but at the same time having a thirteen-year old wife is sick. It's sick how these abusive men just keep filling the gap to fulfill their perverted needs in the name of religion.

Yes. This whole thing was a rollercoaster for me, start to finish. I was angry at everyone. I started to question humanity, civilization, and it reignited my militant atheism streak that has been dormant since I was a teen and wondered if religion really was the source of the world's problems, blah blah blah, but then I remembered that religion just one of many vehicles that manipulative people and sociopaths will use to control others, gain power, hurt those they don't like.

Cults exist because people have a want, a need, and must belong somewhere, to something, and have an identity. That is human nature. People need a fire to fight, a reason to live, someone to love, someone to love them, they want to be liked and approved of and feel good. Cults don't even need the internet to recruit (in fact some of these cults don't want to be on the internet) sometimes people are just born into it, wander into it organically, make a friend who influences you, etc.

Humans are afraid. They are afraid of being alone, they are afraid of death. People do weird shit when they're scared.

I thought Christine Marie, despite being annoyed with her attention-whoring personality at first, genuinely had good intentions, and in the end, she won me over. I think the ends did justify the means in her case. I think the ethics criticisms are valid, and everyone hates cops and nobody wants another Waco, everyone shouts "free will" this and "they're happy" that, "privacy laws" and "she lied" that, but, fuck it, that all goes out the window for me when children are being raped and someone is stuffing 20 brainwashed women in a trailer with broken doors in the Arizona desert with a piss bucket on the highway, because he doesn't view them as people. They're just fleshlights.

He had a lot of money, like, a lot of money, and didn't even buy a travel trailer or conversion van or a fucking bus so they could flee the area safely.

For some situations, I think it's unethical to NOT bend the rules... Sensationalism aside.

 

[Otterly]

I can take on lifestyle changes and succeed, except drinking I guess.

Anyway: In the span of a few days I've had the mad idea of getting a motorbike license

I do not own a motorbike, in fact I’ve never even been on one (I would like to..) but I would certainly encourage you to sort the drinking before getting a bike. The two don’t mix

It's only black people who have a bad genetic predisposition.

You remind me of lingering butter taste as well,

going to be in the hospital for at least a month...i miss him a lot. we have the choice of staying up there 24/7, but i have to get things done at home, and i doubt the medical staff needs an anxious parent hovering over their every move.

This may sound odd to anyone who doesn’t realise what caring for a high needs child means but I hope you can get a bit of rest while your son is in hospital. He’s being cared for, take a bit of time to recharge your own batteries because it’s a long hard road you’re on.

Work has been awful. Massive pressure for deadlines that are unreasonable, and all the other crap. I didn’t sleep last night. I do not feel well. Life is not good. I want to sleep for a thousand years

 

[Banquet Meal]

I hope you can get a bit of rest while your son is in hospital

i will FULLY admit that i have enjoyed not getting up throughout the night...i feel like an asshole, but it has been the 1st time in a long time.

 

[Tom Peters]

I'm stressed out because my company hired several Indian H-1B workers and they aren't working out so well. I don't think they'll fire them right away which means I get to be a mediator and Mr. Fix It for their many screw-ups. It's been difficult tactically explaining to female employees that they need to not go near this group, like just passing by the room their office is in, because it's a distraction. They seem to stop working anytime a woman passes within view of them. I don't understand what they chatter about but I can kind if sense they stop working and talk about the woman after any pass by.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

One coworker returns, the other goes off sick. I got one annoying meeting left and after that I'm sort of on the down-low grinding out the last few days before I leave. I was hoping for one day off before I returned to my old job but I guess not. Alas, I know how it goes and it's a weekend shift so it won't be too bad. God I can't wait to just, leave my work pc and phone in this hole and LEAVE.

I do not own a motorbike, in fact I’ve never even been on one (I would like to..) but I would certainly encourage you to sort the drinking before getting a bike. The two don’t mix

I drink when I've literally no other activity planned. As in even the most miniscule of plans the next day could keep from it. ie. up early and driving through a quiet weekend landscape in the summer. I used to do that on a roadbike but man does it get tiring having to properly fuel, dress the part, clean the bike and drag it out, hope you don't puncture, get home and shower. And even stopping for an ice cream halfway through is a drag.

I've put the lessons into my calendar, hoping it'll ~manifest~ the agency to sink the money in and give it a shot. I'm looking at bikes but man, they peaked in the 90/00s. Any design past that era is terribly edgy and 'sporty'.

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm beginning to wonder if what was going on with me was a really bad case of seasonal depression.. now that the weather is improving I do seem to be doing better.

 

[Zeb Macahan]

The last few days have been really, really bad mentally. I've had issues sleeping for 15+ years, even when I've been in a good place mentally, emotionally, professionally etc. But now can't sleep at all because of the overwhelming anxiety, anger, sadness over my situation and how I'm gonna hold on and fix all the things I need to fix before I die. I've started throwing away some useless and slightly embarassing stuff, but there's lots more to do. Things to sell, find my pets a new, good home. idk. It's hard to motivate yourself to do... anything, even eat. because everything just feels so useless. I take care of my pets and that's about it right now. (And no need to tell me to seek help for the sleeping issues either, on top of the suicidality. I've already tried the whole pharmacy basically, the only thing that works is benzodiazepines. I've had prescriptions before, low dose, only took them when absolutely necessary, was never addicted. But no doctor is willing to prescribe them anymore here so it's whatever.)

The first sentence is you. The second one is your depression. Your hopes and dreams are 100% guaranteed to fail if you’re dead. As long as you’re here, things can still turn around. Things might look bleak right now but 2-3 months from now they might be different, but in order for that to happen you’ve got to ask for help.

Things have been bleak for more than a year now. My hopes and dreams are completely out of reach unless something fucking miraculous happens, due to circumstances. I can't go on living like this hoping I can turn things around, it's... I don't have the words now, my brain is too scrambled.

Idk, im still hopeful that we might get a series of reviews of the finest brothels Denmark has to offer, fingers crossed!!

Well, as a radfem I'm obviously not very entertained by him visiting brothels and using young women like that (and advocating for legalizing it in Sweden)
But anything he writes is bizarrelly amusing, I would probably laugh anyway if he did do reviews

 

[PetiteFeet]

Long day today, at least emotionally and mentally for me.
I'm just so tired, boss.

Nothing negative at least but any time I open up about my issues and ask for help from professionals, I just get exhausted.

 

[MazonLabs Recruitment Rep]

Starting to lose my sense of humor for things. Like my ability to make jokes about everything around me and the state of the world is almost gone and spent. I can't keep up.

Someday, the world is going to have to realize that hanging all the cis het white men/jeets/niggers/troons/athiests/christians/women/whatever isn't going to solve their problems, but I don't think it will ever come to that realization before the whole thing becomes unsalvagable.