How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I should really just be myself, eh? But my fear is this, I'm not progressive enough for SJWs and I'm not critical enough for chuds, so I'm scared if I don't censor myself for either then I'll end up in this limbo where no one wants to be near me. I tried to pretend I didn't find slurs funny to fit in with the SJWs, then I tried to pretend I didn't like MLP to fit in with the chuds, and it's like. Bro, I'm just being fake no matter what, where do I belong? It's like NO ONE likes me. Maybe I'm just fundamentally unlikeable, which is fine, but lonely. Very lonely.
 
Getmeout said:
I should really just be myself, eh? But my fear is this, I'm not progressive enough for SJWs and I'm not critical enough for chuds, so I'm scared if I don't censor myself for either then I'll end up in this limbo where no one wants to be near me. I tried to pretend I didn't find slurs funny to fit in with the SJWs, then I tried to pretend I didn't like MLP to fit in with the chuds, and it's like. Bro, I'm just being fake no matter what, where do I belong? It's like NO ONE likes me. Maybe I'm just fundamentally unlikeable, which is fine, but lonely. Very lonely.
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Protip, you don't have to fit in with anyone if you don't want to. There are lots of people out there who aren't fully chud or fully SJW. It takes a bit of practice but you CAN be friends with chuds or SJWs if you want to, masking your power level and not spilling your spaghetti is key. It's potentially exhausting to do so but you don't have to let 100% of your friendcircle know every single facet that makes you you. Different friends for different interests.

I do get the loneliness part and I understand not wanting to be fake. You aren't unlikeable, you just haven't found your people yet.
 
PetiteFeet said:
She asked me if I would like to go to the forest with her and her dog some time in the future, which is why we exchanged numbers.
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The thought of heading into the forest alone with someone you just met sounds scary to me and triggers my danger senses, but I suppose the doggos should keep you safe.
Getmeout said:
Everywhere I go there's a brown person, there's this one stupid niggress that keeps following me, but I only see her when I walk past reflective surfaces.
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Booooo, stop being your own hater.
Getmeout said:
Speaking of puppies apparently if you search up "Chihuahua naked" on Bing, you immediately get zoophilia porn and barely legal porn. When really I just wanted this.
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That's incredibly fucked up.
Betonhaus said:
So turns out I can't taste salt, which explains a lot. All the times I thought I was having a gluten brain fog I was just straight up dying
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Damn, I've heard that can happen but so far had never heard of anyone experiencing it themselves. How does meat taste to you if you can't taste salt I wonder? I imagine most dishes would taste entirely different.
 
PetiteFeet said:
She's a frail 38 year old lady with lupus and I'm three times her size, I think I'll be fine :P
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That's how the skinwalkers make you let your guard down, then when you're in the forest...
Just watch out if her dog starts doing some project zomboid type stuff like this:
cea2eb18014c943808a4594dab287b20731bc9c7235c5dbbbd7f622e03956828.gif
But jokes aside, hope you have fun with your new friend!
Edit: Oups, I think the gif is partially broken unless you click it.
 
I feel great and I'm highly optimistic for the future.
I know that's me being an outlier these days when everybody is a doomer but everybody being a doomer makes my life easier.
Getmeout said:
I'm not progressive enough for SJWs and I'm not critical enough for chuds
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Why do you care so much about what others think?
Are you a middle aged woman?
Getmeout said:
I'm scared if I don't censor myself for either then I'll end up in this limbo where no one wants to be near me
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When you're old and wrinkly, you will regret not being yourself right now.
Getmeout said:
I'm just being fake no matter what, where do I belong?
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If you don't feel like you belong in any space that already exists, carve out a space for yourself and make it so awesome that everyone else wants to join you.
 
long waters said:
Damn, I've heard that can happen but so far had never heard of anyone experiencing it themselves. How does meat taste to you if you can't taste salt I wonder? I imagine most dishes would taste entirely different
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Everything tastes like it's missing something, but I'm mostly used to it.

I probably lost that taste during covid as I remember one day suddenly not being able to taste things. I thought my sense of taste came back but I guess not
 
Beelzebub's Lawyer said:
Why do you care so much about what others think?
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Man. I don't know. My leading theory rn though is the fact that I didn't really have friends growing up, so I desperately seek them out now.
Beelzebub's Lawyer said:
When you're old and wrinkly, you will regret not being yourself right now.
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That's honestly what I fear, ya.
YHWH's Strongest Soldier said:
If you like MLP, anime, and slurs, you're chud prime. Just be yourself at that point because you cannot possibly become normal, weirdo. Find your tribe at the nazi furry convention or wherever people like that congregate.
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I figured MLP was considered a "degeneracy" or whatever they call it.
long waters said:
That's incredibly fucked up.
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This is why Google will always be better 💪
PetiteFeet said:
Protip, you don't have to fit in with anyone if you don't want to. There are lots of people out there who aren't fully chud or fully SJW. It takes a bit of practice but you CAN be friends with chuds or SJWs if you want to, masking your power level and not spilling your spaghetti is key. It's potentially exhausting to do so but you don't have to let 100% of your friendcircle know every single facet that makes you you. Different friends for different interests.

I do get the loneliness part and I understand not wanting to be fake.
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I think this is it, it just feels... Fake. Like, if I'm friends with someone and I'm spending that friendship KNOWING that if I admit something that's not immoral, they will dump me... Are we really friends? Or are they rather friends with this imaginary version of me. Idk.
 
Getmeout said:
Man. I don't know. My leading theory rn though is the fact that I didn't really have friends growing up, so I desperately seek them out now.
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The worst thing you can do is change who you are in order to get people to like you.
You can't put on a performance all the time, that's exhausting and also, you will break character at some point and also also, you won't even enjoy yourself since those people won't be the kind of people you would like to hang out with.
Getmeout said:
That's honestly what I fear, ya.
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So don't fake it.
Honesty is rare these days and you will stand out.
People will want to meet you just because you're different.
 
Getmeout said:
I think this is it, it just feels... Fake. Like, if I'm friends with someone and I'm spending that friendship KNOWING that if I admit something that's not immoral, they will dump me... Are we really friends? Or are they rather friends with this imaginary version of me. Idk.
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Unless you'd be admitting to something illegal and immoral like touching kids inappropriately, and the friendship is over just because you aren't agreeing 1:1 on everything ("ew, you like MLP? We can't be friends") then there wasn't a whole lot of friendship to start with.
Enjoy whatever gives your life some whimsy. Be as true to yourself as you dare. Be free from other people's judgement. Believe me when I say that it's better to live in solitude, enjoying harmless things that hurts literally no one in the comfort of your own home than to be "popular" and hiding your true self.
If you wanna be a furry with a fursuit, go for it. If you want to hold hands with another woman, go for it. If you want to enjoy Bluey, go for it.

I get it, I really do. I would have a hard time putting a lid on the things that bring me joy in exchange for someone elses company. I don't tell the whole world about my anime plastic crap because the world doesn't need to know (ironic statement, I know) but it's not because I'm ashamed, it's because it's none of their business. But if I go join the other nerds in the local game store or comic book store, they would understand and we could share pictures of how we display our collections etc.

Just don't be a lolcow about it.
 
Got a referral for TMS, called the place on Friday to make an appointment. Was unsuccessful. Seems like they have outsourced their appointment-making-people. I won't say to who, but you can probably guess. I was supposed to get a call back with more information but heard nothing, and they’re closed on weekends. I wanted to see if today I can call the facility directly but I've really lost the will to do so. I'm just so exhausted all the damn time. The treatment itself is also a huge commitment (5 days a week for at least 6 weeks) on top of being full time. I'm really at the end of my rope. I've considered going down to part time but then I lose health insurance, which I need in order to treat my stupid brain problems. But working full time means I have little energy or drive to fix said brain problems. You really can't win.
 
PetiteFeet said:
She's a frail 38 year old lady with lupus and I'm three times her size, I think I'll be fine :P
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It’s never lupus!
But seriously, well done and I hope you find a friend. Just remember that maybe she’s lonely too, and thinking ‘oh I hope it goes Ok with that nice girl with the nice dog.’
You’re such an articulate and eloquent poster, you deserve friends. Sending you my best wishes for your forest jaunt!
 
Getmeout said:
I should really just be myself, eh? But my fear is this, I'm not progressive enough for SJWs and I'm not critical enough for chuds, so I'm scared if I don't censor myself for either then I'll end up in this limbo where no one wants to be near me. I tried to pretend I didn't find slurs funny to fit in with the SJWs, then I tried to pretend I didn't like MLP to fit in with the chuds, and it's like. Bro, I'm just being fake no matter what, where do I belong? It's like NO ONE likes me. Maybe I'm just fundamentally unlikeable, which is fine, but lonely. Very lonely.
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I guess the meds you mentioned not even one page ago stopped working.
 
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