How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

horrorfan89 said:
I'm quitting for the sake of my physical health, my mental health is too far gone and I've been a kiwi too long to back out now, it's just that I legitimately thought I was having a heart attack or failure and considered calling an ambulance...but when I realized I was able to stay conscious and didn't have the other signs (numb arm, jaw pain, shortness of breath and so on) I just rode it out...by the time it was over it was like being given a second chance...cause it could have been a lot worse.
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Panic attacks suck. Good luck man.
 
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My eyes hurt, something that happens when I get a migraine but my head doesn't hurt. Not sure if I should just take some migraine medicine for it anyway (non-narcotic)
 
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Tired. Don't know why, therefore angry at myself for feeling tired.

Take care.
 
Sped Xing said:
Stretching feels amazing. Why can't they just leave it at stretching? It improves balance, reduces the likelihood of injury, improves posture, and helps relieve stress. Isn't that enough? Why do they ruin it with woowoo shit?

Imagine if there was some weird cult that ruins weightl--oh right, bodybuilding.

Is jogging still safe? At least bicyclers just wear stupid costumes and goofy pants.
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Fandoms and communities are sadly usually annoying.

Chan Fan said:
My eyes hurt, something that happens when I get a migraine but my head doesn't hurt. Not sure if I should just take some migraine medicine for it anyway (non-narcotic)
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Hurting eyes in general sound bad. I reckon they are not tired or something.
 
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I’m so angry and sad.

I just feel no purpose to keep living.

I don’t want to have a job and work myself to death, I don’t want to get married just to be stuck in some loveless trap, I don’t want to have kids and push all my problems onto them. I don’t want to do anything. None of my hobbies are enjoyable anymore. I’m just so tired of everything.
 
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Owlman3 said:
I’m so angry and sad.

I just feel no purpose to keep living.

I don’t want to have a job and work myself to death, I don’t want to get married just to be stuck in some loveless trap, I don’t want to have kids and push all my problems onto them. I don’t want to do anything. None of my hobbies are enjoyable anymore. I’m just so tired of everything.
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Those are all bad ideas. Why not

Get a job that's either worthwhile in itself, or at least inoffensive and makes enough money you don't worry about bills

Get married to a good person whom you're happy to spend your life with

Have kids and teach them all the lessons you've learned?

My point is, depression has a way of making people define ideas by their worst case scenario. Life isn't all bad, and it will be over soon, anyway. To be clear, I'm not saying "snap out of it." I'm saying "look at how your thinking is skewed."
 
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Twiddling my thumbs until my report date. Still looking for civilian employment but it's an exercise in futility at this point. I'm going stir crazy without something to do regularly that isn't cleaning or tending after the wife and cat.

At least I still enjoy cooking and certain video games.
 
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Owlman3 said:
I should’ve been more clear. I apologize.

I don’t find jobs, marriage, and having kids appealing because all I’ve seen are the failures of it.

All I hear are people complaining about how much they hate their jobs, including my co-workers, other friends, and my family. The only people I know who are truly happy with their jobs are people who have no lives outside of work.

Every single marriage I’ve ever seen has either:
A. Ended due to divorce
B. Both spouses hating each other, but not getting divorced for some reason
C. Really fucked up dynamics

And every single person I know (including my siblings) always talks about how much their parents have affected them negatively.

I’m not trying to shame anyone who wants those things, I just don’t find any appeal in it.
I’m no NEET (I go to school, work, and have IRL friends), but I just can’t see myself obtaining these things in the long run.
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Sounds like you hang out with a bunch of stupid assholes. That would make anyone depressed.

My job pays decent and doesn't really bother me. I've been married for five years, and I still don't hate my wife even a little bit.

I'm not special. Plenty of people are happy, or at least content. Here, look at my kids. They're almost a week old!

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Every single moment of effort spent trying to recuperate my social circle and rebuild after the utter trashfire that was the election drama has failed. People are flaking harder than ever, they flop over like a dead fish the moment you ask anything of them more than bare minimum interaction, and will cut ties with you if you so much as step a toe out of line. They never stop using '2020 is the worst year' as an excuse for being a shitty person, if anything they just seem to feel its a free license to indulge in childishness.

I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
 
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I'm on new antidepressants although I've been on it years and years ago. Either its that, or I've just gotten so fucking sick of the way I live, or both, but I've been diving into this housework over the past few days, even before we got the email for an inspection coming in a week or two. Now instead of being freaked out about it and rushing to push everything under the bed so I can go watch cartoons, ill actually be ready this time, and will have the place spotless from top to bottom.

As someone who hates cleaning, it actually feels quite good. Mildly cathartic even. Once the house is done over the next couple days, I can finish tidying up my car, get stuck back into hobbies again, etc. Here's hoping this is just the beginning of something new.

Things aren't rosy, but they're also slowly, very slowly, coming up Milhouse.

Cod of War said:
Got out of the Dentist's a hour ago, had two teeth removed. Left side of my mouth is completely numb to the point when I was changing my tissue I didn't notice I was pulling on my lip for like 4 seconds.
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This is why they tell you to never eat anything too hot or cold, because the anaesthetic takes a while to wear off and you may not know if you're burning your mouth or giving it frostbite. Either way, it can be quite not pretty.

Interestingly, at least where I live, you're not supposed to sign anything, drive, work, operate machinery, even cook, for 24 hours after a general anaesthetic (the one where they knock you out, as opposed to numbing an area with you awake, called local anaesthetic).

Hopefully you'll be better soon. Teeth work sucks.
 
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