How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[A Grey Cat]

i really really wanna get some redecorating done, move some boxes out of my bedroom into the...i guess you could call it game room, get rid of an old mattress, put my books away, just some general reorienting until i can get some new furniture and really spruce up the game room, but I'm just so dam tired everyday after work. i come home my lower back is killing me and i feel like shit. maybe this Monday since it's my day off...after a nice long sleep in that is.

 

[Brain Power]

Just great. They sent this place back to total lockdown for a month because "muh second wave". I'm not looking forward to the parties the neighbors will throw. They have everyone stressed.

 

[Overcast]

Got tested positive for COVID, so now I'm gonna be cooped up in my apartment for an indefinite amount of time.

Yay...

 

[Pina Colada]

Just got over a nasty headcold that I thought was COVID, but luckily got negative results after being tested on Sunday. Christmas and New Year's was good and I got some nice useful presents, but it just wasn't the same and I barely did anything for the latter. Hell, I went to bed early and only got up to watch the ball drop.

The pandemic hasn't been kind to me entering the working world either; right now I'm taking temp jobs while looking for corporate marketing positions to jumpstart my career. Am also considering moving to a bigger city where there are better opportunities, which is why I want to save up enough money for a new car (my current one is fine, I just want a safety net should anything happen and it decides not to run anymore). Problem is, I keep running into jobs that are really sales with little marketing, or commission-based which pays peanuts compared to a salary. Later this week I'll reach out to my professors for some helpful advice, which is what I should have done months back.

 

[Dangerously Gay Llama]

The salad I ate the other day was very good but I can feel my craving for sweet cinnamon rolls boiling up in my taste buds. Creamy, melted icing covered cinnamon rolls? In my mouth? Goddamn, do I want it.

 

[Sped Xing]

Just got over a nasty headcold that I thought was COVID, but luckily got negative results after being tested on Sunday. Christmas and New Year's was good and I got some nice useful presents, but it just wasn't the same and I barely did anything for the latter. Hell, I went to bed early and only got up to watch the ball drop.

The pandemic hasn't been kind to me entering the working world either; right now I'm taking temp jobs while looking for corporate marketing positions to jumpstart my career. Am also considering moving to a bigger city where there are better opportunities, which is why I want to save up enough money for a new car (my current one is fine, I just want a safety net should anything happen and it decides not to run anymore). Problem is, I keep running into jobs that are really sales with little marketing, or commission-based which pays peanuts compared to a salary. Later this week I'll reach out to my professors for some helpful advice, which is what I should have done months back.

Commission-based sales is shit work. I've done that and I've scooped literal human feces into trash bags. Neither were fun, but at least I made money with the latter and didn't have to compromise my own dignity.

 

[Motherf*cker]

My friend just passed away, I've been sick for five days and we've been in full lock down for two weeks and it has being extended for an indeterminate amount of time. Oh yeah Im greeeat

 

[FuckedUp]

Realized the Pixel 4a I got for Christmas is actually.....................really useful for me. I should thank my parents again.

Also, had a job interview via phone the other day and I'm not the most confident because I didn't rehearse and had a bunch of "uhh"s during it. On the plus side, it's a programming job so most of the other applicants probably weren't much better.........

 

[McMitch]

Caught the dog chewing up the carpet under my bed. He’s no longer allowed in the bedroom, and his whining won’t stop.
I’m debating whether to just fix it myself, or leave it up to the non-refundable, $300 pet deposit I had to make.

 

[Sped Xing]

Caught the dog chewing up the carpet under my bed. He’s no longer allowed in the bedroom, and his whining won’t stop.
I’m debating whether to just fix it myself, or leave it up to the non-refundable, $300 pet deposit I had to make.

I'd rather pay 300 bucks than carpet a room, and that's not even counting materials.

 

[Foltest]

Have started my new job and so far, it is nice. Can't start my traning until I get my work shit so I do fuck all now.

 

[McMitch]

I'd rather pay 300 bucks than carpet a room, and that's not even counting materials.

I could patch it for way less than 300; it’s only one 4 in by 4 in spot.

 

[Sped Xing]

I would have thought they'd make you replace it all. I don't know what landlords do.

Still a pain in the ass. I hate carpet. Durable, impermeable floors with a few rugs to tie the rooms together is the correct choice.

 

[McMitch]

I would have thought they'd make you replace it all. I don't know what landlords do.

Still a pain in the ass. I hate carpet. Durable, impermeable floors with a few rugs to tie the rooms together is the correct choice.

You assume I’m telling my landlord about any fixes I’ve made to begin with. Carpet is gross and too easily damaged, but it is still vastly preferable to the vinyl faux-wood at my last place. Couldn’t walk barefoot there without a grey mess coating your feet.

 

[Angry New Ager]

So I got on a plane to my hometown a few days ago, saw my mom for a day, and came home. I wanted to stay longer, but I couldn't get anybody trustworthy to come take care of the cats on such short notice, and getting them all in for boarding would have taken days and been a logistical nightmare. So I put down a shitload of extra food just before leaving for the airport, and when I got home 36 hours later it was all long gone and they were hangry, but fuck it--I got to see my mom for what will probably be the last time.

It was good (despite not being good at all). She looked like hell--she's got a 10cm mass on one ovary, and it's sucking the life out of her, but she was still cracking jokes and being her usual hard-headed self. We didn't have to tiptoe around the fact she's dying, which helped a lot; when I talked to her on the phone before making my flight reservation, she straight-up told me, "Well, your old mother's dying; if you want to see me, you'd better get your ass on the road."

I stopped and got her a tub of guacamole and some chicken taquitos on the way from the airport, and she ate everything. "The tumor's a hungry little asshole," she said. She had a full face of makeup, and I joked that we'd know her death was imminent when she stopped putting her face on (because hey, it's true).

I've been calling her every evening since I got home, while she and my stepdad have dinner, before she gets her drugs for the night, and the three of us chat. She doesn't want to do any sort of video chat because she doesn't like the way she looks, and that's okay. Tonight, she told me morphine was "amazing," and kept calling me by my sister's name (I didn't correct her because you just don't at this point). She said, "I'm having trouble with my words tonight, but I love you."

I'm okay most of the time, but I keep getting punched by grief at random moments. She was supposed to come visit in April or May, and see my new house, and part of my stupid-ass brain still thinks she's going to do that. So I'll think about something I want to do with her, or show her, or something I learned to cook in lockdown that I wanted to make for her--and then the fact it's never going to happen hits, and I'm wrecked.

My father was a Narcissist, and we had a very difficult relationship. He died of cancer almost a decade ago, and I forgave him on his deathbed for all the shit he did (because dying of cancer is so fucked, I was able to feel pity even for him). But I never felt any grief at his death, only the sense of a massive weight being lifted off me and my siblings. I don't miss him; never have. And now I'm realizing that so far I've had absolutely no idea what it feels like to lose a parent. But I'm learning now. And...god damn. Damn it to hell.

I read and post on the Jude Valentin thread in the Deathfats forum. Her mom just died--like, almost exactly 24 hours ago--and I know we all grieve differently, but holy shit, that bitch is just inhuman. The urge to powerlevel has never been so overwhelming. So I'm parking this shit here. Fuck, seriously.

 

[Easy Peasy]

I'm glad this thread is here.

I'm getting harassed out of my job. At least they're trying to. Without pl-ing too hard, I'm a laydee in a traditionally Male dominated field in a traditionally Male dominated state. It's not sexual harassment, but they're skating the line of hostile. I'm trying to hold out while I secure a new job but it's getting hard to show up every day. I even caught my supervisor in a lie trying to set me up, but he's too stupid to realize a timestamp on an email is contradicting his bullshit.

Praying to Saint Kiwi that my life improves soon

 

[Homer Simpson]

I'm glad this thread is here.

I'm getting harassed out of my job. At least they're trying to. Without pl-ing too hard, I'm a laydee in a traditionally Male dominated field in a traditionally Male dominated state. It's not sexual harassment, but they're skating the line of hostile. I'm trying to hold out while I secure a new job but it's getting hard to show up every day. I even caught my supervisor in a lie trying to set me up, but he's too stupid to realize a timestamp on an email is contradicting his bullshit.

Praying to Saint Kiwi that my life improves soon

Learn to cry on command, when they do something you dislike, cry on command, and ask why he raped you. Then go stone cold and ask who they will believe.

Or just punch them in the dick.

As for me, lonely. Covid restrictions her are harsh, to tge point I can't visit most of my friends. Not to mention a friend of mine talking about wanting a boyfriend, not me, and making me want it too. Not from her though.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Not so grand if I'm being honest. I've basically lost my career through all this because of a health issue that decided crippling isolation and prolonged periods alone would be the perfect thing to kick it off. So I can now no longer do my previous job or carry on with the degree I was doing to get to it.

I'm an adult returner to education and blogger my butt off with pre college courses, making contacts on my chosen field, doing unpaid work placements, reading up on it, and really working hard to get there and it's all just gone now. I can understand why, my health issues are serious enough they have an impact on my daily life and it is simply unsafe for me to carry on.

And I do have a backup career, I've been lucky enough to switch degrees to something unrelated but that still has great job prospects and high employability which also interests me. But the feeling of effectively starting totally over has got me really low and demoralised and I'm not in a good place. I'm fine for the most part, but my partner works in a similar field and we chat shop about his job. And his passion for it,while really wonderful (and it's one of the reasons I so love him) every so often reminds me "yeah, not for you Fliddy". I never tell him about it as him talking about his job makes me happy for him. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't smart every once in a while, you know?



@horrorfan89, if I can give you any advice on smoking it would be, make sure you're in a good place before smoking. As in, not just your physical environment, but not feeling low or upset or worried or anxious. But that's just my take on it, but what you said about time slowing right down is how I react to it. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy. I know for me, occasionally smoking last year helped me no end to come to terms with things in my life. It was like the weed made my worried conscious mind just shut up enough I could properly think.


I hope everyone is doing okay, or as okay as possible. I cant say it will all be fine as I dont believe in making statements I dont believe. But i hope everyone posting here who is going through The Shit finds the strength and comfort or whatever else it is they need to get through it all.

Rate me tismtacular, I deserve it, but it's fair to say without the farms this last 300 odd days or so, I would have really started to think I was truly alone in my beliefs about what is going on.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Not so grand if I'm being honest. I've basically lost my career through all this because of a health issue that decided crippling isolation and prolonged periods alone would be the perfect thing to kick it off. So I can now no longer do my previous job or carry on with the degree I was doing to get to it.

I'm an adult returner to education and blogger my butt off with pre college courses, making contacts on my chosen field, doing unpaid work placements, reading up on it, and really working hard to get there and it's all just gone now. I can understand why, my health issues are serious enough they have an impact on my daily life and it is simply unsafe for me to carry on.

And I do have a backup career, I've been lucky enough to switch degrees to something unrelated but that still has great job prospects and high employability which also interests me. But the feeling of effectively starting totally over has got me really low and demoralised and I'm not in a good place. I'm fine for the most part, but my partner works in a similar field and we chat shop about his job. And his passion for it,while really wonderful (and it's one of the reasons I so love him) every so often reminds me "yeah, not for you Fliddy". I never tell him about it as him talking about his job makes me happy for him. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't smart every once in a while, you know?



@horrorfan89, if I can give you any advice on smoking it would be, make sure you're in a good place before smoking. As in, not just your physical environment, but not feeling low or upset or worried or anxious. But that's just my take on it, but what you said about time slowing right down is how I react to it. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy. I know for me, occasionally smoking last year helped me no end to come to terms with things in my life. It was like the weed made my worried conscious mind just shut up enough I could properly think.


I hope everyone is doing okay, or as okay as possible. I cant say it will all be fine as I dont believe in making statements I dont believe. But i hope everyone posting here who is going through The Shit finds the strength and comfort or whatever else it is they need to get through it all.

Rate me tismtacular, I deserve it, but it's fair to say without the farms this last 300 odd days or so, I would have really started to think I was truly alone in my beliefs about what is going on.

I'm fine more or less but thanks for the advice. So long as I have an honest job, a roof over my head and food on the table I can't complain.

 

[Sped Xing]

The roach coach hasn't shown up yet. How am I supposed to fall if Satan can't get his beaner ass out of bed to come tempt me?