How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I've been good but life under coof restrictions is definitely getting old doing little more than work and go home is starting to take its toll but I'm healthy and Everyone In my family is working so thank god for that.
 
I'm fucking tired of coding for a living, its a shit job and it doesnt pay as much as people think it does, but thats what I'm good at and I'm too old to change careers now

I tried doing manual work but I suck at it

Wish I had gone into finance, those guys make way more and their job doesnt seem as soul-crushing as being a codemonkey

I sometimes think of getting into gamedev until I see what a fucking hell that industry is, I wish I was old enough to gone into gamedev in the early 90s when shit wasnt as retarded as it is now
 
Last year I got dumped, via text and with no explanation, by someone I liked a lot, and who had a more advanced degree and several times the earning potential that I do, so I’ve been wrestling with my sense of self-worth since then. I do all right for myself, and I’m meant to start a new job next month, and I have a new partner and a solid support system and lots to be grateful for, but sometimes when I’m feeling low, I still can’t stop myself from thinking, “He was out of your league. What did you expect? You’re not good enough to keep someone like that.” I feel so ashamed for it.
 
Fine, but otherwise I have a premature midlife crisis again. I've spent almost a year working a manual contract job and it was mostly fine, but I've never wanted it to be my career. Despite good salary it's a dead-end job in a field that I want fuck all to do with. I thought about trying coding again, relative even gifted me a Flutter crash-course, everything was relatively fine, until I realized that I hate all that to the point of feeling physically ill. I tried free course for data analysis and it was even worse. Not that I couldn't get it or something, I just hate it for some reason. Now I either need to suck it up and keep destroying my sanity in a piece of shit known as Android Studio or get ready to go back to that manual job, which I want even less or try something else which is a next part of the problem - I don't feel passion for anything anymore, even for stupid shit like games or creating stupid pictures in Photoshop. I feel lost and this time I am not even desperate. I rather think about doing something stupid, like drinking to just stop thinking about it and waiting for the problem to solve itself or worse. If I want something, it is to get out from that numb state, but will I? I don't know. I'm getting older and changing careers becomes harder and harder, but here I am, asking myself questions that are typical for teenagers who are about to graduate.

Take care, people.
 
Got hit by a car while walking to the gas station to buy beer and a pack of smokes. It wasn't head on or nothing, the guy was making a turn and I guess he didn't see me. I was probably pushed back only 3 feet, landed on my feet. If I wasn't drunk I probably would've stiffened up on impact and hurt myself. I'm not in any pain, so I guess I'm doing okay.
 
Just a small side note: Don't get stabbed in the belly, guys. Especially not six times. That's totally gay!
On the positive side, learning that even my half dead body can still make 19 year old nurses swoon felt kinda nice.

Got hit by a car while walking to the gas station to buy beer and a pack of smokes. It wasn't head on or nothing, the guy was making a turn and I guess he didn't see me. I was probably pushed back only 3 feet, landed on my feet. If I wasn't drunk I probably would've stiffened up on impact and hurt myself. I'm not in any pain, so I guess I'm doing okay.
Be happy you avoided a trip to the hospital. I think my stay there made me more sick than the initial injury.
 
Just a small side note: Don't get stabbed in the belly, guys. Especially not six times. That's totally gay!
On the positive side, learning that even my half dead body can still make 19 year old nurses swoon felt kinda nice.


Be happy you avoided a trip to the hospital. I think my stay there made me more sick than the initial injury.
What the fuck happened?
 
What the fuck happened?
I guess I needed a good reminder that I am not immortal. Sorry, I am already powerleveling and potentially self-doxing enough here. Shit happened, and I spent the week in and out of the operating theater. I am home now, but not out of it. I can walk, and talk, and sit, and shit, and eat, but I'll still be a wreck and in need of constant medical care and supervision for the next 4 to 8 weeks. There is also still a chance that I might not make it through the next week, or end up with some rather unpleasant lifelong disabilities.
The biggest lesson I learned from all this was that I spend way too much time lurking here, because sitting down on my desk and learning about John Bulla's death was the first time I felt normal since Monday morning. Oh, and the whole thing about how I did not live a very virtuous life but can still face death without any regretts or shame. That was a big lesson too.
 
I want a girl that treats me like dirt and makes my life miserable
I'm glad this thread is here.

I'm getting harassed out of my job. At least they're trying to. Without pl-ing too hard, I'm a laydee in a traditionally Male dominated field in a traditionally Male dominated state. It's not sexual harassment, but they're skating the line of hostile. I'm trying to hold out while I secure a new job but it's getting hard to show up every day. I even caught my supervisor in a lie trying to set me up, but he's too stupid to realize a timestamp on an email is contradicting his bullshit.

Praying to Saint Kiwi that my life improves soon
lmao fuck you. stay in the kitchen dumb bitch
 
Amused because I found out that essentially everyone I work with thinks that me and this girl who works with me are fucking because we get along very well and have become friends outside of the office. Just kinda find it funny that having a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite gender instead of a romantic one (especially amusing since they know I'm gay and she's bi with a preference for women) is that strange.
 
I had time to get a haircut today, but I didn't want to drive into town. Maybe if I worry enough about how bad my hair looks, I'll go bald. That would be helpful.
 
people saying shit about shit magically ending after 2021 were totally right like holy fuck. first there was that capitol storming and now i got to go to a horrifying super spreader party with >50 people in the middle of a raging surging pandemic. holy fuck this year is awesome :D
 
still cant stopping thinking about my uncle and the fact that he's gone. I know they say its not healthy to focus on people who're gone and the fact that they're gone and instead remember the things they did and the good times. It's the journey not the destination and all that. but its just....The last time I saw him he looked perfectly fine, man his age looked like he hadn't changed in years and was in prime health, but two weeks later he was gone just like that.


got me thinking about mortality and how someone anyone can be gone when you least expect it. We're all just one heartbeat away from eternity, and nobody knows for sure just what eternity holds. oh sure the Christians say the righteous have the kingdom, atheists say there's nothing so it's like you never existed at all, then their are people in the middle trying to say we go on in some way. But we're no closer to a definitive answer now then we were when we first began to bury our deceased in ceremonial burials and honor their memory in the hopes it would keep them alive in some way here on earth.

sorry if this post was long or spergy, but its just something i had to get off my chest, and it's not like i have anyplace else to say it.
 
Good news! 🥳 No more tubes or extra holes. 🥳
Bad news... I am starting to get horny again and won't be able to do anything about it for a while.
I've seen documentaries about nurses. You'll be fine.

Not the same thing by a mile, I know, but as soon as I could move after my appendectomy I turned into a sexual tyrannosaurus. So I get it.
 
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