How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Weird shit to be posting on the farms about this but idk what else to do at this point and really just need to sperg about this shit.
Last year in October I moved out of my parents' house into a little condo with a friend from college as my room mate. Long and short of it is he's not a very good room mate. He's good about respecting my privacy, but he doesn't seem to give any semblance of a fuck about really basic things like keeping the common space clean, cleaning up after himself at all (even in his own room and the washroom which thankfully we don't share), and being quiet at night. On one hand, he lives a very different lifestyle from me, which is fine. My problem is it's negatively affecting my personal well being. It's very normal for me to wake up due to loud banging and clanging noises because he decided to work out in the apartment at 2am, or loud beeping because he decided doing his laundry at that time of night was a reasonable thing to do. Every time I clean a space, it's dirty the next morning, every time I put clutter away, it's out the next day. It's getting to the point where I really don't want to live with this guy anymore.

Most recently, he's gotten in the habit of waking up at 9am and turning on the air conditioning, because "he's too hot in his room". Thing is it's like 10 degrees celsius on a warm day this time of year in this area. I've asked him why he can't just open the huge window he has that covers his entire wall like a normal person and he told me that he refuses to acknowledge that there's a window there. I'm not kidding, his solution to being a bit toasty in his room in early/mid spring is to turn on the air conditioning. All of his reasoning for things like this is equally absurd. I once asked him why he thought doing his laundry at 2am was a good idea and he told me that he needed clean laundry. Ok fine, but you've been up since noon at least, couldn't you have done it during the day when I'm not trying to sleep? I got the same response about working out at 2am. Best part is we both work from home, and I constantly get little passive aggressive messages that I'm being too loud if I do so much as mutter something to myself out loud, because apparently his microphone is so sensitive that he picks up *every* sound, regardless of how miniscule. However, if I ask for some quiet at night when I'm trying to sleep I'm not allowed to have it.

I'm at my wits end now and I'm starting to consider how I go about dealing with this. I've tried talking to him and gotten fucking nowhere, and my lease ends in November. I'd really like to avoid conflict during these next 6 months but I'm getting pretty sick of this shit. I did the math and I could technically find a new place without a raise but money's going to be tight if I go that route. I've been campaigning for a raise for a while and it looks like things are moving along with that but it's a really uncertain time either way. I just feel trapped here, and don't really know what I can reasonably do besides fucking off as soon as I can.
Your roommate is unable or unwilling to have any empathy and respect towards you. He basically isn't human, just an asshole. It won't change, and fighting with him solves nothing. GET OUT ASAP!

list on craiglist for someone to take your spot, make a good excuse about transferring jobs or something to lure an unsuspecting fool to take over your part of the lease. Get the hell out, it will only get worse. Do it while he's away, or make up an excuse he'll believe so he won't be an asshole to the new rube (for a day or two).

Afterwards, it's not that hard to find a better roommate, they do exist. Be better about bringing up things that are deal breakers when you are meeting them, not after. Plenty of respectful adults out there wanting to save money just like you... good luck!
 
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Shit's looking up in Bongland now that gyms are open. The rest of my daily routine remains more or less unchanged. Amazed what a solid workout can do for your mind.

Had a small 'contest' with an IG friend - who can OHP 70kg for more reps. He got 8, I got 13. Months of seated press evidently worked wonders. And as wildly speculative as strength calculators tend to go, 13 reps of 70kg per strengthlevel.com equals... 100.3kg. A bodyweight OHP may be in the cards. Maybe.
 
Man, I'm sort of wishing I never came to this Forum. It's great to have a place to speak my mind about these fucking idiots, but now I know too much about the ones I follow to just walk away. I find the train wreck too interesting. I keep waiting for them to get their comeuppance (although I have no idea what it should be) and they keep thriving in spite of their stupidity and selfishness.

I don't like this side of myself. On the other hand, these "people" need to be called out for their bullshit. I haven't seen a cow yet that didn't deserve a thread.

I know that life isn't fair, and I really actually am a happy person with a good life, so why do I even think about these dregs?
 
I’m pretty fucking annoyed myself right now.
Two days ago it was warm and, while not sunny, was still a pleasant day.
Then I wake up to this bullshit.
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It’s the middle of fucking April. Why does it look like we’re still in January?
 
I'm making friends thanks to my new job and they're helping me come out of my shell a bit. Lockdown last year kind of reduced me back to that asocial, reclusive curmudgeon I was finally stopping being, and it's nice to have people to interact and talk with.

I think that's what I really want... to feel like there are people in my life who are regular characters again instead of merely just set dressing.
 
I hate it when I'm delirious (from a fever, it's too hot, whatever).

Whenever I'm delirious, my brain concocts this convoluted system of some kind to some random subject. Then my mind seems to melt down trying to process and reduce it - as the insane "system" keeps trying to grow in complexity. Finally, when the crazy ordeal ends, I can clearly see it as delirium, and I'm like "that was insane".

(even this description sounds delirious)
 
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I've had a lot of time to think this past month or so but not a whole lot to think about. I've experienced a sort of chilling effect towards a lot of things I used to care about recently. This sort of thing used to come and go but its lingering this time. Its not even depression, just a kind of flat apathy towards everything.

There's really nothing unpleasant about this state of mind, but I suspect it might be a prelude to something serious.
 
Man, I'm sort of wishing I never came to this Forum. It's great to have a place to speak my mind about these fucking idiots, but now I know too much about the ones I follow to just walk away. I find the train wreck too interesting. I keep waiting for them to get their comeuppance (although I have no idea what it should be) and they keep thriving in spite of their stupidity and selfishness.

I don't like this side of myself. On the other hand, these "people" need to be called out for their bullshit. I haven't seen a cow yet that didn't deserve a thread.

I know that life isn't fair, and I really actually am a happy person with a good life, so why do I even think about these dregs?
Weirdo-watch instincts are too common not to be some kind of useful quirk selected by evolutionary means. From teenage girls with a love for murder documentaries, to browsers of watch people die, to our own cataloguing farmers, we're all weirdly invested with things that never really touch our lives but can snuff out or warp others.

Personally I think it's a keen survival tactic; we're fascinated by hard edge lunacy so we know what to spot for and how to avoid it.

Mines only gotten worse since I had kids too, I used to be such a pussy casual.
 
Congratulations mate! I'll raise a drink to that!

In less exciting news, I put my back out working yesterday. Didn't realize how bloody unfit I'd let myself get over lockdown and I've another very long day tomorrow.

On the plus side I'm already on some fairly decent pain meds and, whilst I can feel the deep twinge of angry muscles, I'm only getting a fraction of the pain that should go with it.

I'm still grateful to be back though; I hate not working, I start to feel like I'm becoming worthy of my own thread after a while and it horrifies me.
Even if you're halfway nuts craftsmanship and industry knowledge (therefore usefulness) separates you from the animals. Especially if you're too autistic to be all that useful outside of your professional sphere.
 
Been trying to let myself relax and not let things get to me so much. I still feel uncertain about what's gonna happen in the future, but at the very least, this woman and I have become good friends and have been trying to meet up amidst our busy schedules.

Connections are important. Especially in a world where it's becoming easier and easier to become isolated. And I'm kinda happy she's trying as well. Don't know where things will go, but for now, I want to be okay with myself and just let things happen naturally.
 
Just finished a large grad school app I've been procrastinating on for the last several weeks. Feels good and spoke to all my old academic references from years ago. They are all good and still have my back after all these years. 😎 . Now I have a solid/awesome career backup for September! Feeling overtly giddy, my mood rn:


Thinking of going on a multi day trip through the American Southwest to clear my head. Any thoughts/suggestions are welcome. 😌
 
I got mashed last night and forgot to take my medication before falling asleep, woke up at 3am feeling like I was fucking dying. Nice to have a reminder of how unwell I really am underneath all these pills. Didn't get back to sleep and I'm going to have to do today on less than 3 hours' sleep. Just like being a student again, except back then I didn't have important things to do the next day...
Today I found out I also have gallstones. Not related to anything else I have, just another little fuck you from my body to me because why not.

Still, as part of that diagnosis I had to send a stool sample to a lab in the mail. IRL shitposting.
 
I have no energy to do anything anymore but I still have to keep going and god forbid to these people I take me time and sleep. Also sick of all the damn shootings n shit. At least when I’m asleep I don’t deal with that crap
 
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