How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Sped Xing]

I got a haircut, and, predictably, multiple people I see on a weekly or even daily basis asked me who I am.

Look at my face, you fucking idiots.

 

[DerKryptid]

Working on my drawing skills to become a better artcow. Been a while since I last practiced

 

[Vingle]

I got a haircut, and, predictably, multiple people I see on a weekly or even daily basis asked me who I am.

Look at my face, you fucking idiots.

I look way different with shorter hair too. All the bony parts of my face gets highlighted + reverse ageing on the spot. It's like clipping a cat of all its fur, that's the best description actually.

 

[Sped Xing]

I look way different with shorter hair too. All the bony parts of my face gets highlighted + reverse ageing on the spot. It's like clipping a cat of all its fur, that's the best description actually.

Sure, but. Haircuts are a thing. People get them. If you can't recognize someone you've known for years by their face, you have autism.

 

[Vingle]

Sure, but. Haircuts are a thing. People get them. If you can't recognize someone you've known for years by their face, you have autism.

Not if your face were hidden by hair all the time.

 

[Sped Xing]

Not if your face were hidden by hair all the time.

Ok, I'll grant you cousin it may be unrecognizable with a short haircut.

But it's been like two months in my case.

 

[Vingle]

Ok, I'll grant you cousin it may be unrecognizable with a short haircut.

But it's been like two months in my case.

Then it's another case, maybe dementia?

 

[Hassa_Bussa]

It's one of those days where you wake up from a nightmare and your mind is consumed by it throughout the day. Otherwise I'm okay.

 

[Sped Xing]

Then it's another case, maybe dementia?

Rhe owner of my company has introduced himself to me at least six times.

Either it's catching, or I'm a Faceless Man from GoT.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Maybe relax with buying autistic stuff, and prioritise your money better? Based on how frequently I see you post in the autistic stuff-thread. I'm often short on money too, but I do it willingly and are aware of the "consequences".

I see your point and will think about that. But keep on mind my posts in that thread? They're stuff I've bought after prioritizing the important things like my rent my internet and phone service and food. I don't just see my paycheck clear and go "yay let's hit the shops! "

Secondly you won't be seeing me post there for a while.

 

[Coelacanth]

Came back from a pretty important biopsy and was informed I'd need a day or two to recover. Feel pretty sore, but at least I have some extra time to play vidya I guess.

 

[Vingle]

I see your point and will think about that. But keep on mind my posts in that thread? They're stuff I've bought after prioritizing the important things like my rent my internet and phone service and food. I don't just see my paycheck clear and go "yay let's hit the shops! "

Never said you didn't pay rent and stuff, as I haven't seen you talk about that. It is possible to prioritise the money you got after the important stuff is pai

 

[A Grey Cat]

Never said you didn't pay rent and stuff, as I haven't seen you talk about that. It is possible to prioritise the money you got after the important stuff is pai

Yeah look the point is my coworkers and I are always fighting and arguing over petty bullshit. I try my best I work hard but they still act3like I don't do anything. They complain complain and complain about me so much you'd think all I do is waltz in and jack around doing nothing all day but I bust my ass for them working my finger to the fucking bone. But all I get is we need this wee need that stop walking around doing nothing! I can never get a oh hey *name witheld* I know you work so hard keep it up we appreciate you so much.

Ungrateful unappreciative salty old crabs.... hope I never live to be as old and crabby as them

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I didn’t have to be anywhere after 8am today, I slept all day with podcasts on and they gave me different dreams for a change.
I have a few work at home things but I’m working hard on having a real place I actually go to and I think it’s going well.
My air conditioner sucks so I’m hoping fall hits soon so I can bust out my hoodies instead.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

turns out my SWSH and ACNH data got lost too. all my shinies and shit. 3/4 of the big switch games i bought i'm now back to square one. can i fucking die yet

 

[Banana Cat]

I'm really sad dudes. Oh well life goes on right?

 

[Reluctant MC]

I'm really sad dudes. Oh well life goes on right?

Hopefully

 

[Sped Xing]

I'm really sad dudes. Oh well life goes on right?

For an unpredictable, yet finite span of time.

 

[Overcast]

Turned out I had the Flu as well as wheezing issues, so I'm taking Mucinex and an inhaler. Never thought I would be using an inhaler in my life, but here we go.

Other than that, I seem to be doing okay. World's falling apart bit by bit and is pretty much irreparably damaged, but I'm starting to recognize that none of that is gonna stop me from chasing after my dreams and carving my own little piece of paradise.

 

[Vibromatic Heart Bed]

Can we talk about bad sexual experiences here? It's been weighing on my mind lately. All of this happened >10 years ago so its kinda irrelevant but you know how sometimes there's this delayed urge to process shit.

Spoiler

Anyway, I went to a nightclub and a stranger put his hand up my skirt and picked me up by my vagina, like genuinely squeezed my junk for a solid 5 seconds. I ratted him out to the bouncer and he got kicked out of the nightclub, fine. I ended up flirting with the bartender and losing my virginity to him like 1 week later. It was very impulsive and stupid honestly. I just went to this strange dude's condo and consented to him fucking the shit out of me. I was 20, he was 29.

He totally could've murdered me lol, I was across the country on a co-op placement, far away from all my family and friends. But luckily he drove me back safe and sound to my campus dorm, and I went to work the next day like nothing happened.

The sex itself was very weird though. I was totally dissociated. I remember my head hitting against the bedframe, and not even noticing for ?however long, until Chad Bartender was kind enough to reposition me. I was breathing so deep and fast, not even because the experience was pleasurable at all, but just like anxiously hyperventilating, my hands became pins and needles and eventually went completely numb for a long time.

We rotated through about 10 different positions. It lasted about 2.5-3 hours. It just went on and on and on. I had the brilliant idea to fake an orgasm, thinking it would make him finish. Spoiler, it didn't work. I didn't have the words to be like, "okay I'm done". So we continued. Eventually he had me pinned in a weird prone position and he came and it was finally over.

I guess the thing I've struggled with over the years is, what can I even label this experience? I definitely consented, so it's not rape, and he's not a rapist. And I can't blame this guy for the fact that I got molested a week earlier, and I was in a bad mental headspace. I was definitely a shit sexual partner though, so like how did he not notice that I was mentally checked out and not enjoying myself?

But I've never really been able to move past the damn thing. For almost a full year afterwards, I was in this weird confused daze, like "wtf happened there, why did I do that, that was so out of character for me". I've had sex literally twice since then. No long term relationships.

Was it just... bad sex? grey zone-ish? I genuinely don't know.. it was just sorta unfortunate. I should probably go to therapy lol