How can i become a lolcow?

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Donutcapybara said:
Please, tell me. I always wanted to become a better lolcow than chris-chan
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1. Abandon hygiene - cleanliness is a sign of capability which is a sin among lolcows.
2. Stop taking your meds - medicine is a sign of repression. You must give in to the cow inside of you - your true self.
3. Pray to Null at least 5 times a day. Giving him your credit card details will speed this part of the process up.

Do all these things and Null himself will descend from the heavens and anoint you as a cow with a thread in Proving Grounds. Then everyone on the Farms will stand up and slowly start clapping at your stunning and brave ascension to cowdom.
 
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Record a video of yourself discussing how you love to eat feces and how you fantasize about having sex with children. Be sure your face is completely visible and make sure as many personally identifying things as possible are visible in the video (eg address, mail, your car's license plate, etc).
 
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Talk about how you want to put the midwest in death camps for voting wrong while eating moon wheat battered McNuggies.
 
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Look don't listen to these guys it's super easy. Just post images of your genitals in absurd resolutions here and then completely lose your shit on every conceivable social network site you can find when people start making fun of them.
 
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