How can I get my cat to stop trying to drink my pee? - Not a joke or bait.

Penis Drager 2.0

Penis Drager 2.0

My memes are ironic; My depression is chronic.
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Dec 20, 2022
I brought in a stray some months ago and I usually keep him out of the bathroom. When I do placate his interests he specifically wants to drink my piss straight out of the stream.
Wtf is wrong with this retard?
 
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I trained a dog to piss where I piss when I piss outside. I then used the dog pissing where I pissed to teach the dog a "go piss" command so then when I took the dog outside to piss but wanted to come back in quickly I could just say "go piss" and the dog would go piss without needing to piss first so the dog would piss where I pissed, the dog would piss on it's own.

Basically animals can be trained.

Your solutions as far as I see are.
1. Keep cat out of bathroom, disregard cat's feelings when ot wants to enter the bathroom(the long game).
2. Let cat try to drink your piss then *accidentally* piss on cat but make sure not to get the piss in it's eyes. It only takes a dribble, you don't want to hurt the cat but just make the cat not want to cross your stream. This may start a piss war with cat where cat will piss on everything you love but it probably already does that if it's a stray. Assuming cat isn't a piss fetishist this should solve your problem(the short game). You could probably simulate this with a water bottle or gun so you don't actually have to piss on your cat like a psychopath.
3. Try to claim the warranty and get a non-defective model. Cats are dumb as shit but some are even dumber than shit and it sounds like you got a dumber 'an shit cat.
 
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Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Maybe you have diabetes. Diabetes can make your urine have extra sugar in it. I heard that cats can't taste sugar but basically what I'm trying to say is that you are fat.
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Cats can't taste sweet things, you're right on that. I do believe you can have extra protein in your urine if you eat too much protein and cats should be able to taste that. Alternatively they may be wanting sodium? Either way OP's cat is greedy.
 
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Johnathan Readit said:
2. Let cat try to drink your piss then *accidentally* piss on cat but make sure not to get the piss in it's eyes. It only takes a dribble, you don't want to hurt the cat but just make the cat not want to cross your stream. This may start a piss war with cat where cat will piss on everything you love but it probably already does that if it's a stray. Assuming cat isn't a piss fetishist this should solve your problem(the short game). You could probably simulate this with a water bottle or gun so you don't actually have to piss on your cat like a psychopath.
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DO NOT TRY THIS
my cat is an insane piss lover and is constantly trying to drink my piss sometimes even going as far as to claw at my urethra in the midst of the night in order to get a lick at my piss
whats even worse is he thinks that I love piss aswell and is always trying to share his piss with me, I have told him many times that I don't like piss but he continues to piss in my Bang™ Blue Razz Tazz flavoured Bang™ Energy drink with new improved formula now in stores for 2.69$. On multiple occasions I have even found him storing piss in small buckets outside so that he may gift it to me.
This comment is paid for and endorsed by Bang Company incorporated Bang™ energy drinks.
 
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