How can I re-Jew myself? - Unjewed this, unjewed that, but is this the right way forward?

[Vecr]

I consider myself pretty unjewed, I even run an unjewed web browser (Unjewgled Chromium). However, with the recent situation in Israel and with various views regarding Jews in the west becoming more common, I think my niche mindset has gone lamestream. At this point, I'm looking for books by high-quality Jews on various broad topics, so I can re-Jew myself better than I have ever been.

I don't want to be standard, every day Jewed though, I want to be high-quality Jewed, so the books need to be accurate and detailed.

My history and planned future looks like this: Notice I am Jewed (complete) -> Become un-Jewed(complete) -> Realize that being un-Jewed is mainstream(complete) -> Become re-Jewed, but in a better way(in the planning stage)

 

[parsnip]

You're going to have to cut off more of your penis for it to be official

 

[Vecr]

You're going to have to cut off more of your penis for it to be official

More of it? How much do you think is cut off right now? I'm looking for books, not body modification tips.

 

[Jason Wynn]

You go to a restaurant, order the most expensive thing and constantly nitpick and bitch about it to get it discounted or comped. Don’t forget to constantly hock and blow your nose into a hankie every thirty seconds.

 

[parsnip]

More of it? How much do you think is cut off right now? I'm looking for books, not body modification tips.

You can read all the books you like, but if you don't re-do your covenant with god you're just another goy

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

Just remember, "If you're Jewed, you're screwed!"

You go to a restaurant, order the most expensive thing and constantly nitpick and bitch about it to get it discounted or comped. Don’t forget to constantly hock and blow your nose into a hankie every thirty seconds.

Do this all with a very nasal voice, and don't forget to mention every relative, regardless of how distant and tangential, was involved in the great shoah, which is just the most well known example of anti-semitism. Don't forget when you exclaim something that "Oy" is involved. Also, make sure that if any non-jew ever says "I understand how you feel" you say "I appreciate how you feel, but not being Jewish, you can't possibly understand the pain my people have had to endure for millennia."

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I think you need to curb your enthusiasm.

 

[Hyperbola]

On the unlikely chance that something serious gets posted here, I might be interested. (Just out of idle curiosity.)

 

[eatler]

Go to New York on a pilgrimage and assist the Jews in digging the new tunnel.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

agree to observe all 613 mitzvot of the torah

 

[Vecr]

Still no book recommendations though. I want high quality Jewish authors, not writing on Judaism at least specifically.

 

[DankSmoker]

Insist that hummus is tasty and better than any other dip.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Well first things first you gotta get that surgery to drastically increase the size of your nose, air is free after all.

 

[Hyperbola]

Raymond Smullyan? (Though I don't know if he counts as Jewish according to your criteria, religiously he's more of a freethinker or Taoist.) Mathemetician, studied formal systems. I have a vague memory of this hilarious chapter in one of his books playing with self-reference paradoxes where a psychologist invents a machine that reliably indicates subjective experience, the machine informs the psychologist that he's mistaken about his own qualia, and the psychologist has to figure out whether to trust the device he just invented and tested or his own perceptions.

One other book by a Jewish guy that I read recently was the autobiography of Stefan Zweig, "World of Yesterday", mostly out of historical interest.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Become well-read, perhaps a bit neurotic. Get everyone to seethe.