How can you identify a witch?

[Gangstalker #32194]

 

[Chainsaw Man]

the amount of melanin content in their skin.

 

[someonenew]

Thanks i really needed this!

 

[MadStan]

Throw them in water. If they float they are in league with the Devil and are certainly witches. If they sink and drown, then they are not witches.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Why would you ask such a thing?

I mean... what if you found out someone was a witch? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

 

[KSachiko77]

Grope their tits. If they're ìce cold in summer, they're a witch.

 

[SentinentCloud]

ussualy by checking their armpit hair levels and their post history on Beauty Palour

 

[DankSmoker]

If a woman arouses me she is probably a witch using her magic spells.

 

[Topaz Eyes]

Ask to see her Tumblr blog/witchtok account and crystal collection.

 

[Taser Confetti]

They're typically morbidly obese and identify as something like pansexual.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Prick it's moles and see if it bleeds. At least that's what my ancestors told me.

 

[Peepeepoopoo Witch]

If she weighs less then she's a witch.

 

[Staticness]

You don't. Belief in witchcraft is heathenism. Anyone engaging in demonstrable altering of reality is in fact performing a miracle, and those can only come from God.

Ye olde witch trials were almost entirely performative and were levied at people who would have overall been pariahs anyway; the Inquisition (pick one, really) demanded hard proof of witchcraft, but their accusers were never able to dredge anything conclusive up; it was the locals who were doing this, not any broader authority. Malleus Malificarium is quite literally some of the horniest German monk schizoposting committed to paper.

However, if you are, in fact, dealing with someone you believe to be a witch, you just have to weigh her to see if she weighs the same as a duck. If she does, she's a witch.

 

[murph]

If they have triple nipples.

 

[DicksOutForKiwigglers]

Try the chicken method. Weigh her against a chicken. If she is lighter than a chicken she is a witch.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Make the sign of the cross, and if she flees from it, she's either a witch or a liberal

 

[gamerweeb1]

The power of ONE

The power of TWO

The power of MMMAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNYYY

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

The most surefire way to identify a witch is if she doesn't eat all the eggs. If she eats all the eggs, she is safe!

 

[OrionBalls]

Did they braid your hair in your sleep while taking the form of a cat? You will never know, because being awake enough to know means you are a witch, yourself. Heathenism and the Holy Church have simply resolved these problems in the past by murdering the herbalists and charging the Christians more money for salvation.

 

[KingNothing]

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