How depressing is Chris's future?

[GFYS]

Chris was the perfect mark prior to trolling. Now he's paranoid. He's still a target but I think in the future when he has more financial responsibilities he'll be be more prone to walking himself into a scam because he'll think he's found a method of paying the bills AND getting a new console/parade of game purchases.

It probably won't be a targeted scam, rather an open hole scam where Chris falls for some generic offer for something that's too good to be true. Shit, remember a few years back how many sites and books promoted - entirely in earnest - investing tens of thousands in Pokemon cards or Beanie Babies? Almost everyone except the assholes promoting it lost money, when they dumped all their inventory, and the bubble burst. I can see Chris falling for shit like that. Fortunately, I think the damage he could do would be mitigated by him having no life's savings to blow. Probably the worst he can sink himself with such a scam is 3 months worth of tugboats. Having to replace a condenser coil in his air conditioner would screw him harder, even if the contractor was honest.

Frankly, most credit cards are scams by the spirit of the law, even if not by the letter of the law. I bet whatever credit card Chris signed up for in 2009 had a 20%+ APR, and ballooned to 29.9% after he went crazy getting games and his TV. Even if it's legal, it's a real dick in the ass, and too many Americans - not just THE Christian Weston Chandler - fall in that hole all the time.

One stupid thought I've entertained a few times - but reconsidered due to the liability of Nintendo and SegaSammy deciding to defend their IP if they caught wind of a deal regarding Sonichu - was offering to buy the rights to Christian Weston Chandlers life story for a paltry sum of $9001 (to Chris, that's like a gazillion dollars) and then legally shit all over his name and everything he values. It's stupid and pointless, but is an example of how someone with a shit-ton of liquid capital (and a disturbing lack of morals) could easily leverage someone desperate like Chris. Shit, even his mom probably would be easy, since she comes off as an unsophisticated greedy sow. He's at least shielded by his paranoia now, and I think Bell might step in if Chris were to send him some crazy "magic beans" email. Still, it's just one more angle of approach someone could really dick the guy over.

I also sort of hope someone - probably someone on the forums, because I don't trust Anna or Rocky being smart enough to sense danger - would be able to alert him to a scam. I remember at least twice, where Chris was warned about paying just the minimum payment towards credit. Thing is, would Chris heed the warnings if some JERK told him Nigeria is a federal republic, which has no royal family trying to transfer millions of dollars..? Or would he double-down, just show the trolls they can't stop him from making good money? Personally, I see the latter.

Truth is, if Chris were to come here and ask - without any ego - for financial advice, or checking to see if something were a scam... I'd help the guy out. :? Certainly not for any love for the dumb animal, but just because I hate seeing slippery shitheads scamming easy marks who live paycheck to paycheck. Go big, or go fuck yourself. But we all know that's not happening. In the final chapters, I just can't see anyone saving Chris from Chris.

 

[Dreamatorium]

As a side-note, I always thought it was really funny that he said that his mother "is getting a sleep-napia for her snoring". He meant that she has Sleep apnea; a sleep disorder of which snoring is a major symptom. Hilarious CWC misunderstanding.

As I understand, isn't sleep apnea a rather serious condition?

It's like when Bob was dying, Chris wrote nonsense about his father having "foot swellings". Chris pays no attention to the gravity of what's going on.

Do you think that these are intentional misunderstandings - maybe he subconsciously realizes how serious these things can be and wards against the fear by retreating into the hermit crab shell of childlike imposed-ignorance? Or is he really just a clueless idiot?

 

[Zim]

To be honest I'm actually surprised Chris hasn't been conned outside of the Joshua Martinez/Vanessa Hudgens thing. He's such a good mix of gullible, naive and stupid it seems like he'd be the perfect target even for my first confidence trick type hustles. I guess there are some pros to never leaving the house.

I think as long as he knows (if he knows) not to order anything advertised on tv or the radio he could avoid getting ripped off too bad. Late night radio and tv marketing is really really shady and it must work or else there wouldn't be so many people doing it.

Some examples would be health supliments (ex. ageless male, okinawa life), religious infomercials (ex. peter popoff-fucker's been nailed for scams his entire life and he's still on tv for an hour each night), and get rich with no work schemes (ex. making money in the cash flow business). Most of these things sign you up for automatic billing without your knowledge and are designed to bilk you out of hundreds each month.

Now I don't think he's in any danger from any late night tv ads since none of it is targeted at his childlike mind but if he ever did sign up for one of thes scam products he'd be really screwed what with his limited finances and all.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

He did buy Extenze. I think many scam pitches are too long-winded for him and can't keep his attention. The presentation needs to be quick and obvious like a toy commercial. Extenze had porn star chicks claiming it would make his duck bigger. Credit cards let you buy something now and pay for it later (It was something grown-ups are expected to have and let him buy things NOW NOW NOW). Commercials are like socially acceptable scams and we all know how Chris eats those up. He takes them for more face value than most people do.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Do you think that these are intentional misunderstandings - maybe he subconsciously realizes how serious these things can be and wards against the fear by retreating into the hermit crab shell of childlike imposed-ignorance? Or is he really just a clueless idiot?

I think Chris, by default, does not understand why he should have to care about something that's going on - if you want him to put down the DS and become invested, you need to sell him on it, every time.

Even if you're his dying dad. The reaper promised you'd be alive til 2015, see.

 

[José Mourinho]

Do you think that these are intentional misunderstandings - maybe he subconsciously realizes how serious these things can be and wards against the fear by retreating into the hermit crab shell of childlike imposed-ignorance? Or is he really just a clueless idiot?

I think Chris, by default, does not understand why he should have to care about something that's going on - if you want him to put down the DS and become invested, you need to sell him on it, every time.

Even if you're his dying dad. The reaper promised you'd be alive til 2015, see.

And in 2015 too, he would marry Lovely Weather and take part in a medical study to cure da homos.

Spoiler

 

[Judge Holden]

Do you think that these are intentional misunderstandings - maybe he subconsciously realizes how serious these things can be and wards against the fear by retreating into the hermit crab shell of childlike imposed-ignorance? Or is he really just a clueless idiot?

I think Chris, by default, does not understand why he should have to care about something that's going on - if you want him to put down the DS and become invested, you need to sell him on it, every time.

Even if you're his dying dad. The reaper promised you'd be alive til 2015, see.

And in 2015 too, he would marry Lovely Weather and take part in a medical study to cure da homos.

Spoiler

[youtube]7LNS_Y90iLo[/youtube]

I totally forgot about that prediction. Chris's idea of how his life is going to go always makes me giggle

 

[CatParty]

it's not really depressing when one inherits a house

 

[Kosher Dill]

And in 2015 too, he would marry Lovely Weather and take part in a medical study to cure da homos.

... wait. So all that time, he was actually specifically flashing forward to "after Bob is dead"?
Mind blown.

 

[shanchu]

Who knows? Shit is unpredictable, I'd be nothing less than shocked to see him carry his current mindset to his grave.

 

[Holdek]

Spoiler

This means he raped Lovely Weather. :x

And in 2015 too, he would marry Lovely Weather and take part in a medical study to cure da homos.

... wait. So all that time, he was actually specifically flashing forward to "after Bob is dead"?
Mind blown.

Depends on if he drew the comic before he had the dream or not.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Even in his fantasies he manages to get his own sloppy seconds and that's only through tricking a poor woman.

 

[Mr. 0]

Even in his fantasies he manages to get his own sloppy seconds and that's only through tricking a poor woman.

Is she poor because she had sex with past Chris? Or poor because she ends up marrying Chris and having sex with him in the future?

 

[Drawets Rednaxela]

Chris'll be well taken care of, but he'll likely continue whining about his lack of a sweetheart and being his own biggest cockblocker for the rest of his life. All ten years of it.