How do I become an internet tough guy?

[Islamic Jihad Rocket]

Title.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

the first step is to engage in power fantasies that when expressed telegraph to everyone your own personal impotence, unfulfilled desires, and insecurities

talking about acts of violence always helps, as well as going into detail about weapons you dont own and martial arts you dont practice

wiggerspeak is optional but it is essential that you talk about traits you have that are unrealistic or inhuman, such a limitless tolerance for pain, or never being afraid

 

[Pokemanifsmokeweed]

Start drinking tons of monster energy drinks, and train your fists, and then sooner or later, you can start intimidating your haters by making videos of yourself punching holes in drywall

 

[Rock hard as a Flintstone]

Study how bossmanjack acted in front of a screen and emulate it. Then stream yourself live on the internet so we can all laugh.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

You must learn from the ways of Jason Bloho and become a skilled mercenary with world-class strength.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

 

[AnsemSoD1]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

No stalker, I did not write this stupid copypasta, enjoy prison child.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

WELCOME TO THE SALTY SPITOON, HOW TOUGH ARE YA?

 

[grimacefetishist]

I think you have to call people bad names? Or is that a keyboard warrior? Sorry I'm just a shitposter idk

 

[Media Consumer]

write bad sci-fi novels

 

[DankSmoker]

Study how bossmanjack acted in front of a screen and emulate it. Then stream yourself live on the internet so we can all laugh.

The tunes he listens to are just too hardcore, I have to turn down his streams or my parents might hear me!

 

[Womble of Wimbledon]

Refer to everyone as "child" and threaten to spoon-feed them their own teeth.