How do I deal with dwarfs illegally mining my territory?

[SandyCat]

These annoying drunk fat alcoholics keep mining my territory and accidentally awakening dormant dark gods

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Shoot them.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Buy some gremlins for security. They can be troublesome too so make sure you train them good. They don't require too much maintenance. Easy to care for. You could get goblins but I wouldn't recommend it on account of their potential kleptomania if not looked after at all times.

 

[Sacrarium Spiritus lumine]

Offer free ale, for a good week. Then set up for an ambush.

 

[Tablet County]

Unleash the Balrog.

 

[Grub]

Flood the floor of their fortress with alcohol and cats and wait for the cats to kill themselves with alcohol poisoning after licking the alcohol off their paws then the dead cats will lag their fortress out so bad they'll probably decide to self destruct in a hilarious and over the top way you can enjoy rather than attempt to continue life at 5 fps.

 

[NOT Satoshi Nakamoto]

Pitbulls

 

[SentinentCloud]

tell them its illegal then they cant break the law

 

[WonderWino]

Lure them into live traps with alcohol and then sell them to the drow as spider food

 

[Moths]

Destroy one beloved artifact and watch the slow spiral begin