How do I discipline a baby?

[FuckedUp]

I'm babysitting my neighbor's 1-year-old son. He refused to eat the pizza I ordered, so I put him in the microwave for ten seconds as punishment. He's screaming and crying nonstop now. Should I nuke him for another minute or two?

 

[StreetGangsta]

Yes.

 

[Medical Hawaii]

put it on the "defrost" setting

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

No, if the microwave isn't working you're going to need to put it in the dryer on the low heat/delicate cycle for about 20 minutes.

 

[Bongocat]

I think you're supposed to put the baby on the underside of your wrist and if it's not too warm you can put it in the microwave again.

 

[Larkin N Likin]

Poke a skewer through the baby and see if its organs come out. If they do, put it back in and repeat every minute or so.

 

[tehpope]

 

[Darksy DePhil]

PUT THESE KIDS TO SLEEP, WILL YA?!

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Wash down more xanax with beer

 

[Liber Pater]

Call him a libtard

 

[TheRetardKing]

Nestlé Baby Formula will shut it up. Permanently.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Microwave was probably too soft. stuff them in a pillow case and hammer toss them out a window to really show em whos boss