How do I farm Kiwis?

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Kiwi fruits are vine fruit so you need a sunny area and a sturdy structure for them to grow off with minimal wind. Kiwis are male and female, I'd recommend 1 male for every dozen females. You sould go with well drained soil with the regular nutrients watered regularly. If you want KiwiFarm varity kiwis you need to fertilizer with Andy ditches underwear or pamperchu daipers and tard cum which should be available at you're local sneed's.
Kiwi bird are protected so it'll be very difficult and illegal to use them as live stock, you either need to keep an underground operation in new Zealand or smuggle one out. There meat probably isn't worth the hassle and is considering pretty lousy. They lay very large eggs that are edible but most lay one at a time and at most three. I just wouldn't recommend it plus killing a kiwi stains the soul worse than almost anything.
 
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Wait until the kiwis are fully grown. Slice them in half to drain all the juice, then refrigerate the halves to prevent spoilage.

I don't know how the fuck to harvest the fruit though.
 
Pick a sunny spot with good soil. Plant male and female vines in spring about 10 feet apart. Water regularly, prune yearly, and add fertilizer. The vines will take a few years to produce fruit.
 
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