How do I get free pizza tonight but also unironically.

Solution
Mediocre
A true pizza fan will spend $40 on a custom creation with 2-3 garlic butter cups on the side.

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Find a hub of Pajeets on the Internet, tell them you're woman, ask for pizza.

Alternatively, you can go through 4chan, but that poses a greater risk.
 
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I can't speak for "free" but if you dig up all your state's pro teams there's a decent chance one of them didn't lose and you can cash in a promo code for half-price
 
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Prophetic Spirit said:
In that case, choice one with meat or pepperoni.
And... i don't know, you can just misdirection the pizza guy or girl and get freely after 30 minutes in German? Or that's obsolete?
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They haven't done that in years and all the pizza places are super close to me uh.

I tried that pizza subreddit but it requires too much bullshit like using the site for more than just trying to Sneed free pizza.
 
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Become roomies with someone who has a gig delivering pizza. Most nights he works he'll bring a random pie or two home because there's almost always at least one stoned/crazy jackoff who orders a pizza but then doesn't answer the door when it's delivered and doesn't answer the phone when called, and/or some asshole who tries to pull the "I refuse to pay because it wasn't delivered in 30 minutes" thing even if the pizza was clearly delivered in 20 minutes and pizza chains haven't done those sorts of promises in decades anyway because it incentivizes delivery drivers to drive dangerously, and the pies were just going to be thrown away anyway.

Of course you don't get a choice in size or toppings, but since you were considering slobbering knob for a slice I imagine your standards aren't very high in the first place.
 
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E-Beggars seem to manage it. Fake trooning out on the hashtags and see if you can get free cash.

Some of the more established beggars don't even lie and literally say it's for pizza, they just think they inherently deserve whatever they want for free because oppression.
 
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