How do I get the world to rejoice in the idea of me being murdered? - How do I become such a blight on everyone and everything that every man, woman, child, infant, beast of the earth and fish of the sea wants me dead?

You have to show them how much fun it is. Now wear this for a minute.
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Reactions: Commander Kneewing
The whole world? You'd have to do something that pisses then all off. Just doing something evil wouldn't suffice, you'd have to effect everyone directly. Thus, you must become the American president and fuck over literally every country so badly that it transcends ideology and groups, affecting people on the individual level.

Some ideas include provoking nuclear apocalypse or at least dragging them all into a terrible, pointless war even if it doesn't necessarily result in a nuclear apocalypse.
 
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