How do I Kiwifarm?

Don't listen to them, friend. They're lying to you. What you actually need to do is this:
1. Open cmd.exe
2. Type del C:﹨Windows﹨System32
3. Press enter
4. ???
5. Profit!
You fucking nigger, does that even work anymore?
No, I just looked it up and it doesn't. It won't let you.

Oh look at me, I'm trapped in the year 2000, I think telling someone to delete system32 is a funny joke! I'll bet other 40 year olds will find this a funny reference! You guys remember the ??? profit! format? Remember how that was funny back when we weren't all middle aged and suffering from male pattern baldness?!

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. That's how to kiwifarm.
 
Hey guys, how do I change my profile picture?
Click on your pfp at the top right, then on edit, and pick an image
1000016860.jpg
 
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You fucking nigger, does that even work anymore?
No, I just looked it up and it doesn't. It won't let you.

Oh look at me, I'm trapped in the year 2000, I think telling someone to delete system32 is a funny joke! I'll bet other 40 year olds will find this a funny reference! You guys remember the ??? profit! format? Remember how that was funny back when we weren't all middle aged and suffering from male pattern baldness?!

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. That's how to kiwifarm.
Now this is Kiwifarming.
 
I don't know how to add a profile pic or really how to make proper posts; I only ever read about the big-time lolcows. Is there some sort of tutorial I can read?
It's actually nice to see a newfag ask for advice rather than waltz into a thread and get themselves doxxed and banned within a week, makes a nice change. As for general advice:
  • Be careful sharing personal info, there are people out there that genuinely would want to ruin your life just for having an account on this site. A few tidbits here and there are fine but just be aware that small admissions over years can add up to a dox if someone's dedicated enough.
  • If you're interested in a new thread always lurk for a bit before posting as the site isn't one big collective and actually has numerous mini-communities, many of which overlap but often have very different views and posting etiquette. For example the girls over in the Beauty Parlour and the retards in the DSP board both have a very different thing going on to the rest of the site.
  • Don't get assmad at other users, by all means call someone a retard if they're being one but getting into a bitch fit and losing your shit will just get you ridiculed at best and jannied at worst. It's just not worth it.
  • Keep posts on topic, a little tangent is fine so long as you're not consistently derailing discussion, or if you make an effort to get back on topic. Also don't double post unless absolutely necessary. And finally try to be either a little bit insightful or funny, it's absolutely not required but it does make your overall experience better, assuming you're not a retard of course.
The fact you've the cop on to actually ask for advice is a good sign that you're not a complete retard so I'd say you'll be fine.
 
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It's actually nice to see a newfag ask for advice rather than waltz into a thread and get themselves doxxed and banned within a week, makes a nice change. As for general advice:
  • Be careful sharing personal info, there are people out there that genuinely would want to ruin your life just for having an account on this site. A few tidbits here and there are fine but just be aware that small admissions over years can add up to a dox if someone's dedicated enough.
  • If you're interested in a new thread always lurk for a bit before posting as the site isn't one big collective and actually has numerous mini-communities, many of which overlap but often have very different views and posting etiquette. For example the girls over in the Beauty Parlour and the retards in the DSP board both have a very different thing going on to the rest of the site.
  • Don't get assmad at other users, by all means call someone a retard if they're being one but getting into a bitch fit and losing your shit will just get you ridiculed at best and jannied at worst. It's just not worth it.
  • Keep posts on topic, a little tangent is fine so long as you're not consistently derailing discussion, or you actively try to bring it back. Also don't double post unless absolutely necessary. And finally try to be either a little bit insightful or funny, it's absolutely not required but it does make your overall experience better, assuming you're not a retard of course.
The fact you've the cop on to actually ask for advice is a good sign that you're not a complete retard so I'd say you'll be fine.
@hothead
And don't forget that if you ever see a user by the name of Null, you always give him a cute hat or a silly trash can. He loves those.

Also, whenever you're thinking of posting in the Thunderdome you need to randomly tag Hollywood Hulk Hogan or Dyn! (You can do this by putting an @ before their name and selecting the user that pops up!

And last but not least: Make sure to use Q&A for it's intended purpose of drunken blogging and word-salad skitzo posting!

Have fun and good luck!
 
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