How do I naturally keep Faucigoblins from climbing into my anus and squirting monkeypox everywhere? - It should hopefully be gluten free

[Quantum Diabetes]

I was in a Halal guys bathroom and after I finished wiping two three inch Faucigoblins were climbing up the rim with their monkeypox filled super soakers ready to go. I can’t have this shit right now man

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Simple, seal your anus.
It's a simple surgery of cutting along the rim of the butthole and the sewing it together and good old fashion healing.
Some may be thinking "what about my poop", well my friend that's when the ever convenient colostomy bag comes in. With another simple surgery your bowel track will be re-routed to your side and your waste stored in a robust clear bag so you always know when to swap it.
Say good bye to shady bathrooms full of faucigoblins and tampon seeking women, now just swap your bag in the comfort of you work station.
Just how soylent solved the hassle of eating, the colostomy bag solves the struggle of excretion.

 

[Fetish Roulette]

If there's one thing Faucigoblins can't stand, it's joy. Live a rich and fulfilling life, and they'll naturally be repelled by you.

 

[My Name is Ed]

Consider a dietary regimen of drinking bleach, then taking a shit. The bleach will coat your anus and make it toxic for the goblins.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Simple, seal your anus.
It's a simple surgery of cutting along the rim of the butthole and the sewing it together and good old fashion healing.
Some may be thinking "what about my poop", well my friend that's when the ever convenient colostomy bag comes in. With another simple surgery your bowel track will be re-routed to your side and your waste stored in a robust clear bag so you always know when to swap it.
Say good bye to shady bathrooms full of faucigoblins and tampon seeking women, now just swap your bag in the comfort of you work station.
Just how soylent solved the hassle of eating, the colostomy bag solves the struggle of excretion.

I don’t know, my half brother in Colorado said there’s Mountain Faucigoblins that can climb and are agile. Won’t they just rappel down and enter my stoma anyways?

 

[Cat tit bingo]

I don’t know, my half brother in Colorado said there’s Mountain Faucigoblins that can climb and are agile. Won’t they just rappel down and enter my stoma anyways?

Those gobos are definitely tricky but they lack the tool use stats to pry open our patented  septicseal. if your woried about the time changing dont worry, the natural aroma will deter everybody with working smell receptors including faucigoblin. It's the same all natural fragrance that makes proud transwomen around the world feel more like women.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Here we go again

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

If you eat a high fat moderate protein low carbohydrate diet, you will preemptively develop an immunity to monkeypox