How do I not hate myself? - Username relevant

[genderfluidnigga69]

I am not transgender, I would never get any kind of surgery or even hormone therapy. There are some days that I feel good and masculine and amazing about my image. Some days I am disgusted and feel ugly and like I am not in the correct body. I know I am beyond screwed up in the head and am mentally ill, and I am in line to see a counselor. I feel absolutely alone in the world and like no one will accept me. I have found no solace in the LGBT community as they are a bunch of degenerate freaks, even though i struggle with not being that at times. I always hear Null talk about how people like me cannot be helped and he talks down to people like me. I feel like I am not welcome anywhere, but I am trying to fight it. I am trying to get help. Can any of you relate? Do any of you think that a retard like me has hope for remission? For lack of a better word.

 

[Mortan Shekelstorm]

Read and listen to Thomas Szasz, aswell as The Bible (KJV Geneva Douay)
That's what helped me more than anything, and given me meaning and clarity of mind. Not meds or therapy

Some clips of Szasz short to long

 

[eDove]

Of course, you can break free of the current psychological plague. Null's seen too many people entrench themselves in the LGBT community and become unsalvagable, but you clearly haven't done that yet. We're all burdened with undue neurosis in this day and age thanks to the Internet. We're struggling with concepts and problems that have only existed for a couple decades or so.

Do you feel like you have been influenced to feel this way by media, family, trauma? How long have you struggled with it?

 

[genderfluidnigga69]

Read and listen to Thomas Szasz, aswell as The Bible (KJV Geneva Douay)
That's what helped me more than anything, and given me meaning and clarity of mind. Not meds or therapy

Some clips of Szasz short to long

i will definitely take a look at these soon

 

[genderfluidnigga69]

Of course, you can break free of the current psychological plague. Null's seen too many people entrench themselves in the LGBT community and become unsalvagable, but you clearly haven't done that yet. We're all burdened with undue neurosis in this day and age thanks to the Internet. We're struggling with concepts and problems that have only existed for a couple decades or so.

Do you feel like you have been influenced to feel this way by media, family, trauma? How long have you struggled with it?

I actually thought I was trans since i was maybe 16ish. I am 29 now.
I realized just recently that I would never feel comfortable as neither a man or a "woman", therefore dropping the transgender label. I am not sure why exactly why i feel the way i do about myself. I have a wild theory that involves a twin that died in the womb, but nothing serious.

 

[Mortan Shekelstorm]

i will definitely take a look at these soon

There's one more video of him I enjoy from the 70s a lot more dry by modern standards but I love it (Szasz stared holes into the other psych)
Concepts and Controversies in Modern Medicine: Psychiatry and Law How are They Related?

 

[Lokenstien]

I realized just recently that I would never feel comfortable as neither a man or a "woman",

You could always focus on being comfortable as a human that exists right now.

 

[OrionBalls]

Everyone is screwed up. We're all just screwed up in different ways. But, we are so lucky, because today was a day we got to live. I don't mean to be callous, but you should write down five things you are grateful for, before you go to sleep, tonight. Do it again, tomorrow. Do it for a month. It might help

 

[Mortan Shekelstorm]

I actually thought I was trans since i was maybe 16ish. I am 29 now.
I realized just recently that I would never feel comfortable as neither a man or a "woman", therefore dropping the transgender label. I am not sure why exactly why i feel the way i do about myself. I have a wild theory that involves a twin that died in the womb, but nothing serious.

My best advice would to work on being comfortable with yourself and who you are. Even if you aren't religious you are the sum of thousands of variabilities and have to literally just bee yourself, you can change and take things you like to help define your character as someone you are proud to be. Be it a cowboy type or long hair 90s grunge look alike, If you carry yourself well enough you can get away with dressing a bit different or whatever. Best of luck

 

[dick brain]

Well first of all stop jacking off to Milo Marinara's Jessica Drew drawings. Stop jacking off in general, and looking at sexualized content. Definitely stop watching anime, and quit wasting time on video games. Get off social media and content aggregators like reddit and twitter. Stop talking to trannies and tranny enablers. In short, log off. Unironically touch grass, get some vitamin D, engage in shinrin-yoku. Join a gym and do 5x5, or just run if you're broke. Get your T tested if you can. When you get bored, read books, or listen to audiobooks. Try Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, The Happiness Hypothesis or The Comfort Crisis. Find some healthy hobbies to channel your generative drive, and/or sublimate your destructive drive. Music and martial arts are good, respectively. Assess your mental health, address any vices or trauma.

Also look up Atrazene pollution heatmaps.

 

[eDove]

I actually thought I was trans since i was maybe 16ish. I am 29 now.
I realized just recently that I would never feel comfortable as neither a man or a "woman", therefore dropping the transgender label. I am not sure why exactly why i feel the way i do about myself. I have a wild theory that involves a twin that died in the womb, but nothing serious.

That's really interesting. It wouldn't surprise me if twin pregnancies had adverse effects on the children later in life, even if they're subtle. Sharing a womb with someone is a dramatic thing.

Have you ever looked onto getting your hormones checked? I know everyone suggests that, but I've known multiple men who changed overnight after having their testosterone brought to a healthy level. They became much more masculine, confident, and chill—at least, when they did it properly and didn't resort to illegal steroids. One of the guys struggled with gender his shit his whole life, even before it became a fad online.

Null's Mad At The Internet stream on Pad might be right up your viewing alley, if you haven't seen it. That's an extremely interesting case of a man who's mental and hormonal health had gone awry, manifesting in one of the most bizarre self-identifications by far. You're not as messed up as this guy was, but his story may help you evaluate what's going on in your body.

We live in an increasingly toxic and broken world. Some of our medicines literally carry fetal DNA, and we're full of hormone-aggravating plastics. Is it at all surprising that gender confusion is so rampant today?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Some days I am disgusted and feel ugly and like I am not in the correct body.

It's frustrating to hear this retarded pseudoreligious talk. You're not piloting a flesh Gundam, you are your body. It can't be wrong and you can't get a new one or change your only one. The sooner you excise such foolish thinking the better.

 

[Azdy]

This may not be the popular opinion around here but if you've meditated on how you consider your identity, it's not an issue of how others view you that decides whether you're comfortable or not. It's YOU.

I feel absolutely alone in the world and like no one will accept me.

You are the only one who needs to accept you for who you are. If your username is correct, you have an idea of what your identity is - meditate on it, if this is how you see yourself, then go ahead and be it.

 

[dick brain]

you are your body. It can't be wrong and you can't [...] change your only one

ngmi

 

[Ultrapenguin]

You can't always take the stuff Joshua Moon says at face value. Like so often online it's easy to present really bombastic black and white opinions when you're communicating through a screen. That's the nature of the internet, it encourages people to act like angry caricatures of themselves.

Although I also just think the gender stuff's not really relatable for a lot of people; I can 100% understand how someone would feel incompatible with how things are, we live in an alienating period and I'd guess the majority of users of a website like this have put their time in wondering why they aren't more like "normal people" (whatever that means) and needling themselves over perceived flaws, but I've never been able to figure out how the fixation with gender as a representation of that develops.

One point to keep in mind though is that being charitable towards other people will help you be less harsh on yourself. You say you think nobody will accept you, have you considered you're being rather unfair?

There's a level of ego involved in presuming rejection by others, you're taking the decision out of their hands and assuming none of them have the understanding, experiences, or empathy to care. It's a little insulting and a fantastic way to senselessly shut yourself off for no reason.
It's tough when we live in a system that tends to break people down to a set of on-paper characteristics for ease of processing, but paradoxically if you focus on not being judgemental towards others you'll probably find your own view of yourself softens somewhat.
Just go forth with good intentions and let people come to their own conclusions, don't always insist on filling in the blanks.

 

[Dicksmash Turbofist]

Quitting porn entirely has done wonders for me and I recommend it to anyone who has lost themselves to that habit. Keeping a running tally of days without porn was the method that worked for me.

On another note, you can find redemption and healing in the arms of Christ. The parable of the prodigal son is one none of us should forget.

 

[SandyCat]

While I like our autistic site owner I wouldn't use him as a basis for mental health advice. Same goes for the people on this site.

Talk to a talk therapist. I thought therapy was a load of baloney but I found out a good therapist can help a lot. A good one is more than just someone you talk to, they have a understanding of your brain on a scientific level

But be wary of psychs, theyre pill pushers

 

[Rock hard as a Flintstone]

While I like our autistic site owner I wouldn't use him as a basis for mental health advice. Same goes for the people on this site.

Talk to a talk therapist. I thought therapy was a load of baloney but I found out a good therapist can help a lot. A good one is more than just someone you talk to, they have a understanding of your brain on a scientific level

But be wary of psychs, theyre pill pushers

Just beware of the ones that will push transgenderism as a viable solution to your self doubt because it fits the current social and political zeitgeist, the whole gender identity disorder thing has been softened into 'dysphoria' the DSM-V.

Do any of you think that a retard like me has hope for remission?

You've been thoughtful enough to realize that the fad cure of having yourself mechanically and chemically mutilated may not be a viable solution to your mental anguish. I'm no doctor but I'd say this is a good indicator that you aren't actually retarded, I believe in you OP.

 

[Chadikus Maximus]

I thought this was going to be a bait thread and I was going to give an appropriate answer but so I'll try to give a half way sensible answer here goes.

Jesus loves you and he always will no mater what, You are Gods precious creation after all his final master piece that God using his own hands molded in his image and there is nothing you could ever do that God would find disappointing because God already knows everything there is and ever will be to know about you and will accept you despite all of your flaws.

 

[Not a bee]

Find security within yourself, and love your body with all of its beauties and flaws. You say you have good days and bad days, yes? A lot of people do, some struggle more than others. It doesn't mean they are transgender though. A lot of people struggle with their body image, I mean hells, the whole cosmetic industry is based off of body insecurity!