Don't wash them for about 5 years. Then go into a police station and request to have them registered. One whiff of 'em and you'll get that registration for sure!
start kicking some cops and they will have no choice but to put some cuffs on your tard legs. This is an implicit admission by the local governmental executive branch and police by extension that your feet are a lethal weapon and need to be binded together. I have seen many masters of foot kwon do in my time, many get tard restraint wheelchairs.