How do I stop being disappointed towards my parents, even though they’re trying to be well-meaning people?

[Jonah Hill poster]

Yesterday, I was getting ready to read books from the Unabomber himself, known as Ted Kacyznski. I also would like to point out that of course I do not agree nor wish to do the things that Ted did, but I still believe his mindset to be interesting enough to read about. I was always under the impression that in order to challenge yourself, you need to read books from people that force you to challenge perspectives that might be considered taboo or “edgy” to say the least. (I’ve done the same thing with the likes of Hitler, Mussolini, George Lincoln Rockwell, Malcolm X, etc.)

Again I’d never do the things that they described, but in the beginning, my parents always encouraged if not applauded me to read from different viewpoints. Now fast forward to present time, my parents are now disappointed in me reading these types of things, because they fear I might turn into a “bad person”. They never used to be like this when I was younger.

How does one ignore something like this, and how did we get to this point? There was a time when my parents were somewhat looked at as cool. They’re not the worst people in the world, but I get the feeling that growing older hasn’t made them mature from a mental standpoint, if that makes sense.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

If you're 35 and reading terrorist manifestos in their basement then they're probably going to take a dim view of it.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

If you're 35 and reading terrorist manifestos in their basement then they're probably going to take a dim view of it.

Do people still do that these days?

I only read stuff like this on the Internet

 

[Shield Breaker]

How old are you OP? Are you still living at home? If you are not in school, I would suggest you move out.

 

[???]

Your parents want you to succeed and give them grandkids. Say what you will about Uncle Ted's insights, he is not by conventional measures successful.

You should treat obscure philosophical works like candy, eat them sparingly and as a reward for doing something that sets you on the path to some sort of success.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

If you're 35 and reading terrorist manifestos in their basement then they're probably going to take a dim view of it.

Agreed, but if he's 35 then they should be able to more bluntly express their concerns that they think it's a bad influence, and furthermore they should be able to explain why (e.g. they're concerned to begin with that he's in a bad headspace as he's a fully grown adult still living with them)-- of course, if that's the case, they may as well do something about it, which brings me to my next point.

It's natural to be disappointed in people-- not just parents, but especially parents-- that express a major misgiving but can't be bothered to actually do something about it. Again, assuming that OP in fact is 30+ years old and lives with his parents reasons that don't render those circumstances as part of a concrete plan, I see four issues:

1. There's a disconnect between what they've previously encouraged and how they're responding now-- that is, they've told him before that it's a good thing to read different viewpoints, but now are disappointed that... he's doing what they've encouraged him to do.

2. They've expressed a major misgiving, but have failed to explain of what that misgiving is comprised-- that is, they figure reading this manifesto can turn OP into a "bad person" but haven't expressed why they think that would even happen.

3. They've expressed a major misgiving, but aren't actually doing anything about it. If they just fear that their son is aspiring to become the next Unabomber for whatever reason, the fact that the only thing they've done is express disappointment means that they're not invested in a concern that should be a big deal and does demand concrete preventative action.

4. They've expressed a major misgiving, and on top of a) not explaining why they feel that way, and b) not doing (or even saying) anything concrete, they've also declined to actually give OP the tools to catch himself if he were to actually go on the road that they fear he may go on-- it's as if they told him to be careful about making sure that he isn't joining a cult, but didn't bother telling him what a cult would look like.

They won't help him, and they won't help him help himself. They'll just express disappointment that he's doing what they've encouraged him to do all along.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Why do they know the type of shit that you're reading?

If it's because you're flaunting about how you read a savage mass murder's manifesto, then I would absolutely be concerned.

 

[Lemmingwise]

How do I stop being disappointed

Adjust your expectations in line with reality.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

How old are you OP? Are you still living at home? If you are not in school, I would suggest you move out.

I’m hoping to live on my own before I hit 30.
Give me maybe two or three years top.

Why do they know the type of shit that you're reading?

If it's because your flaunting about how you read a savage mass murder's manifesto, then I would absolutely be concerned.

If you’re thinking that I’m bragging about it, then you’re mistaken. I just randomly picked it up out of curiosity and they just so happened to see it one day when I was cleaning my room.

Also, I was not trying to hide it from them, but I was not flaunting. I already was honest from the get-go, but they simply just didn’t understand it.

 

[Spl00gies]

Your parents are the ones who should feel disappointed.

Shame on you.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I’m hoping to live on my own before I hit 30.
Give me maybe two or three years top.

As long as you're actually working toward some type of goal while you're living with your parents (going to school or starting some kind of business) there's no shame living at home.

If you're just working a shitty retail job with no real prospects, then you might want to reconsider your life.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

I’m hoping to live on my own before I hit 30.
Give me maybe two or three years top.

"Hoping to". As if it's something that's going to just spontaneously happen.

No wonder your parents are disappointed.

 

[He Who Points And Laughs]

You should be reading more technical manuals. The world needs more engineers and fewer philosophers.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

I’m hoping to live on my own before I hit 30.
Give me maybe two or three years top.

Holy shit I was just memeing but turns out I was dead on, minus the age. Expanding your horizons is fine up to a point, but if you're mid-20s and still reading obscure "literature" and babbling about it to your parents while you live on their dime then no shit they're going to take a dim view of it.

Maybe just keep it to yourself if you don't want them to look down on you for it. Also, if you access the internet from their basement then yes, you're reading things in their basement. I'm reading this in my kitchen right now, via the internet. Quibbling over the medium doesn't change the basic facts.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

"Hoping to". As if it's something that's going to just spontaneously happen.

No wonder your parents are disappointed.

I know it’s not going to happen immediately, but I do have plans on rebranding myself on being a better person. All I have to do is not fall prey to things that might hurt me.

 

[Lemmingwise]

I’m hoping to live on my own before I hit 30.
Give me maybe two or three years top.

Lol, I was 19 and the time it took from the decision to move out to actually moving out was 8 days.

I do have plans on rebranding myself on being a better person

LMAO, what are you, exxon mobile? I knew this thread had potential.

 

[Tim Buckley]

Maybe if you stopped jerking off to Elliot Rodger in their house and go get a job or start your own family they will show you more respect.

But even then, parents will always bug you a little bit because they usually wish the best for their offspring, that's very normal and mundane.

 

[Rice Is Ready]

Why do people post CRANGE stories here that reveal embarrassing details about their personal lives???

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

I do have plans on rebranding myself on being a better person. All I have to do is not fall prey to things that might hurt me.

Are you a space alien? Who fucking talks like this.

 

[Pedosnake]

I am sorry, but we are sadly not ResetERA. I hear they love people like you.