Wow. A lot to unpack here.
First of all: You're 26 and you live with your parents? Barring some sort of special life circumstances (you're CWC, you have cancer, etc), there's no reason for someone at your age to be living with mommy and daddy. Make your own way; the military is always hiring, if that's your only way out. (if you do have cancer, my sympathies.)
Second: You're 26 and still reading the manifestos of mass murderers? That might be okay in an academic or professional setting, but it doesn't sound like this falls into either of those. Read a science textbook instead.
Finally: They may have encouraged it when you were younger so as to allow you to be exposed to varying viewpoints to make you a better rounded person. (Example: someone who grew up in the city who only had experience with firearm violence goes to redneckville and learns that you can have fun shooting cans in your backyard.) By now, you're more or less set in your viewpoints and beliefs, and reading that sort of shit means you're either radicalizing or not trying to better your situation. There are people your age who went to trade school, outright own their own homes, and have a kid.
You're not the victim here.