- Joined
- Feb 19, 2021
Don't have it anymore. Already seen my afterlife. I worry far more about my wife and the people I care about in that respect.
How do you deal with fear of death?
- Thread starter Lord of the Large Pants
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2022
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2021
I understand the feeling, believe me. I really am just lucky in that regard, not much else to it.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
I try to rationalize it by reminding myself that I already know what death feels like. I imagine the feeling of nothingness that existed before you were born continues ad infinitum after you die, and that I shouldn't worry about it since I'll technically never know what it's like to truly be "dead" since human consciousness can't really experience that feeling
LeroyJenkem
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2022
Death was always somewhat of an abstract concept for me. Sure, I've lost people along the way, but it'd always been followed by a soft melancholy rather than proper grief. Then a few years back an ex who I'd had a very long turbulent relationship with and who was a year younger than me died in a freak medical situation while out on the town. I had not been with her for years, and had happily moved on with the woman who is now my wife. But when the news dropped and people started DMing me and calling, it was a real shock to the system. Even if the romance is dead, short of killing your cat or something, if you share an apartment and a life with someone for long enough, you become invested in their story because it's intertwined with yours. Unfortunately in her case, she had a pretty short one.
Queue the uncomfortable emotional tailspin.
Firstly, death has a great way of ripping the rose colored glasses off of your face, grabbing you by the base of the skull, and forcing your to really examine the past. With rare objective clarity, I realized there was a lot of shit I probably should have apologized for. Her death definitely dredged up a lot of negative feelings surrounding that situation. It was made worse by the fact she never held it against me. She wanted to be my friend. I didn't. Should've probably accepted the olive branch to get closure at the very least.
Then, I began ruminating about the past as a whole, and how much time in my life had actually already passed came clearly into focus. Blink twice and you've already loved through a decade. Things like high school, my twenties, etc all the sudden seemed very far away. I started taking inventory of people I just fell out of talking to. Former best friends I hadn't even thought about in years because we'd just naturally drifted apart. I logged into my old Steam account even though I didn't have a gaming rig and realized some people I'd spent every day talking to when I was a teenager hadn't logged in in over a decade. Some of whom were older back then, and are probably dead now. Cracked open every old obsolete email address I could in an effort to re catalog snapshots of a now alien time in my life. I spent a lot of time trying to remember. I'd painfully realized how much I'd blurred everything together being a busy body.
Then after five months of agonizing, the grandma I was closest to passed away after a long battle with hospital borne staph and the strokes that came with it and stole her away before she even died. At that point, I became a blank slate. I shut off so I could more effectively help my dad (who was devastated and barely functioning) do horrible mundane shit surrounding death like estate liquidation and casket shopping. After we put her in the back of the hearse, I walked around the corner of the church and cried alone for five minutes. Then I went back to taking care of my dad.
I had horrible nightmares when I rarely slept. I was a mess. I was counting minutes because I didn't want anymore time to slip away without being logged. It wasn't until I ruminated about it enough that I found a weird peace in the unknown. I sort of broke myself. I'd snapped my brain by thinking about every moment for months straight to somewhat slow the passage of time. If you deal with something you're scared of for long enough and sit with it, after a while it'll cease to be scary. I began trying to treat my life like a fine meal, where I savor small bites instead of wolf it down.
Death doesn't scare me as much anymore. A friend had to explain death to his four year old when they had to put the family cat down. She asked him if it hurts to be dead, and he hit her with "do you remember anything from before you were born? No? Well then I imagine it's kinda like that". Secular yes, but definitely comforting. (And not gonna lie, I put that one in my back pocket for when I have to breech that topic with my kids first time we have to put down a pet)
The idea of not existing as a being in this universe makes me uneasy. The idea of everyone else dying first also scares the shit out of me, because almost everyone I love is older than me or unhealthier than I am. I love being alive with those I love. I love the life I've led so far, even the shitty parts. My story is mine and mine alone, and it's been a fucking ride so far. I don't want it all the meaningful, surreal, and wild experiences to evaporate. The futility of how much effort we put into our finite existence makes me feel like Rutger Hauer and his doves. You can find your way into the history books and live forever, but you're gonna need to do something really clever or really abhorrent. Art is another way to extend your influence beyond the grave, but then artistic output only has a self life of a few years unless you really strike gold with a huge idea. And even then, it may be interpreted in a way that you didn't intend. The key to extended life is your children and grand children. A good legacy is raising a family that remembers its history with oral tradition and heirloom keeping is the only way to live far beyond the fragility of your meat husk.
Queue the uncomfortable emotional tailspin.
Firstly, death has a great way of ripping the rose colored glasses off of your face, grabbing you by the base of the skull, and forcing your to really examine the past. With rare objective clarity, I realized there was a lot of shit I probably should have apologized for. Her death definitely dredged up a lot of negative feelings surrounding that situation. It was made worse by the fact she never held it against me. She wanted to be my friend. I didn't. Should've probably accepted the olive branch to get closure at the very least.
Then, I began ruminating about the past as a whole, and how much time in my life had actually already passed came clearly into focus. Blink twice and you've already loved through a decade. Things like high school, my twenties, etc all the sudden seemed very far away. I started taking inventory of people I just fell out of talking to. Former best friends I hadn't even thought about in years because we'd just naturally drifted apart. I logged into my old Steam account even though I didn't have a gaming rig and realized some people I'd spent every day talking to when I was a teenager hadn't logged in in over a decade. Some of whom were older back then, and are probably dead now. Cracked open every old obsolete email address I could in an effort to re catalog snapshots of a now alien time in my life. I spent a lot of time trying to remember. I'd painfully realized how much I'd blurred everything together being a busy body.
Then after five months of agonizing, the grandma I was closest to passed away after a long battle with hospital borne staph and the strokes that came with it and stole her away before she even died. At that point, I became a blank slate. I shut off so I could more effectively help my dad (who was devastated and barely functioning) do horrible mundane shit surrounding death like estate liquidation and casket shopping. After we put her in the back of the hearse, I walked around the corner of the church and cried alone for five minutes. Then I went back to taking care of my dad.
I had horrible nightmares when I rarely slept. I was a mess. I was counting minutes because I didn't want anymore time to slip away without being logged. It wasn't until I ruminated about it enough that I found a weird peace in the unknown. I sort of broke myself. I'd snapped my brain by thinking about every moment for months straight to somewhat slow the passage of time. If you deal with something you're scared of for long enough and sit with it, after a while it'll cease to be scary. I began trying to treat my life like a fine meal, where I savor small bites instead of wolf it down.
Death doesn't scare me as much anymore. A friend had to explain death to his four year old when they had to put the family cat down. She asked him if it hurts to be dead, and he hit her with "do you remember anything from before you were born? No? Well then I imagine it's kinda like that". Secular yes, but definitely comforting. (And not gonna lie, I put that one in my back pocket for when I have to breech that topic with my kids first time we have to put down a pet)
The idea of not existing as a being in this universe makes me uneasy. The idea of everyone else dying first also scares the shit out of me, because almost everyone I love is older than me or unhealthier than I am. I love being alive with those I love. I love the life I've led so far, even the shitty parts. My story is mine and mine alone, and it's been a fucking ride so far. I don't want it all the meaningful, surreal, and wild experiences to evaporate. The futility of how much effort we put into our finite existence makes me feel like Rutger Hauer and his doves. You can find your way into the history books and live forever, but you're gonna need to do something really clever or really abhorrent. Art is another way to extend your influence beyond the grave, but then artistic output only has a self life of a few years unless you really strike gold with a huge idea. And even then, it may be interpreted in a way that you didn't intend. The key to extended life is your children and grand children. A good legacy is raising a family that remembers its history with oral tradition and heirloom keeping is the only way to live far beyond the fragility of your meat husk.
Hyro
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
Very late reply and semi offtopic but this weirdly wasn't my experience with general anaesthetic as I actually had dreams during the one time I was put under. Is it uncommon to have dreams under anaesthetic?
To be honest I never liked this perspective. I'm not religious but the idea that after dying that's it always seemed presumptuous. I don't see any particular reason why consciousness couldn't carry on in some way, take another form or at the very least re-emerge at some point even if you take an atheistic or even materialist approach.
Balalaika Z Bree
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Prayer, trusting in God's mercy.
Death is not to be feared, dying might be extremely unpleasant, but what happens afterwards and forever is what is worth fearing.
Matthew 10:28
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Death is not to be feared, dying might be extremely unpleasant, but what happens afterwards and forever is what is worth fearing.
Matthew 10:28
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2018
Dying helps. If you die, not only do you get to see what's on the other side, therefore nullifying the anxious anticipation of whether or not there's life after death, but you'll be dead so you won't have the capacity to be afraid of death.
PaleTay
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2020
I was dead or near death for a bit, and it felt like wandering through an empty forest.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
When youre in your early 20s, its amazing how much you dont fear death.
As ive gotten older, ive taken steps to prepare for things that could kill me. I learned to defend myself, I eat better, I practice driving and take basic extra steps to be ready for scenarios. I even watch industrial accident and car crash dash cam videos qs gay as that sounds.
Im not so much afraid of death anymore as much i just dont want to die.
As ive gotten older, ive taken steps to prepare for things that could kill me. I learned to defend myself, I eat better, I practice driving and take basic extra steps to be ready for scenarios. I even watch industrial accident and car crash dash cam videos qs gay as that sounds.
Im not so much afraid of death anymore as much i just dont want to die.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Live as well as I can for as long as I can and do the stuff I want to do. That way I die without regrets.
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2020
- Joined
- May 23, 2019
I put a rag in their mouth first so I don't have to listen to them plead for their life.
Oh, you meant fear of MY death. Nevermind.
Oh, you meant fear of MY death. Nevermind.
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2022
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2022
honestly it depends what you see death as. its only natural to have a fear of the unknown most people have that fear as its core survival thing to be afraid of things you do not understand. which is why solar eclipses were seen as world ending events long ago.
for me i can say i am scared in a way mainly because i have a desire to see everything i can and knowing that one day somethings gonna happen to me that will prevent me from doing that does bother me. but at the same time i have seen enough to realize that there is no way to know what happens.
you can listen to religion if you want but even that stuff is based on the stories of others. the fact is death is the ultimate unknown you might just die and thats that but if thats the case just live your life and when it happens it happens.
but there is also a possibility you might wake up elsewhere. maybe this is all a test and we are all gods of our own creation. maybe we have all been dead since the start and this is just an endless loop who knows.
best thing you can do in my opinion is just live life how you want and be happy. least then you can say regardless whats at the end that you made the best of the time you had here.
for me i can say i am scared in a way mainly because i have a desire to see everything i can and knowing that one day somethings gonna happen to me that will prevent me from doing that does bother me. but at the same time i have seen enough to realize that there is no way to know what happens.
you can listen to religion if you want but even that stuff is based on the stories of others. the fact is death is the ultimate unknown you might just die and thats that but if thats the case just live your life and when it happens it happens.
but there is also a possibility you might wake up elsewhere. maybe this is all a test and we are all gods of our own creation. maybe we have all been dead since the start and this is just an endless loop who knows.
best thing you can do in my opinion is just live life how you want and be happy. least then you can say regardless whats at the end that you made the best of the time you had here.
I say this in the nicest way, but you can become completely desensitized to death and the idea of death if you're around it enough.
Many healthcare professionals, especially those who deal with end of life patients, have very different views on this.
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2022
Sure, but not your death. Seeing someone else die is one thing but dealing with your own mortality is a whole other animal.
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2015
Death is one of those subjects that conjure up questions that cannot be answered practically or to a satisfactory point.
When you try to process the mass of everything in contrast to you as a singular organism, of course you're going to feel existential.
Sometimes I feel like hopeless shit, but half of it comes from over thinking on my part. I try not to do it so much these days. Especially with what I could have lost between the years 2018 through 2020.
When you try to process the mass of everything in contrast to you as a singular organism, of course you're going to feel existential.
Sometimes I feel like hopeless shit, but half of it comes from over thinking on my part. I try not to do it so much these days. Especially with what I could have lost between the years 2018 through 2020.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I like to think the electrical signals that make up your thoughts and identity disperse into the background radiation. Ending up sort of becoming one with everything.