How do you *not* end up as a lolcow on this site?

[blimpBig907]

Might be a change of pace.

I'm a furry [get your furfag chants out now] that has been gaining some major recognition lately on social media. I have heard the many stories of those who fell victims to the perils of clout and fame or general stupidity that end up on here. Usually, they get doxxed and their entire life story posted.

I wonder, since the definition seems to be vague and general - what qualifies one as a lolcow? Is it being a reactionary bitch to anybody who dares criticize them? Is it someone who is a predator? Is it someone who is just vulnerable enough to be exploited for entertainment? And who doesn't qualify as someone worth a-logging on an internet forum?

If this thread has been done before, I apologize - my leftie eyes can't bear to read all your hateful language

 

[KingCoelacanth]

No matter whats being discussed, you say "both sides are idiot"

 

[LurkTrawl]

are mentally sound

If you are a furry you are definitionally mentally unsound.

Hanging yourself is a %100 certified way to quit being a lolcow, just ask Byuu

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

The first start is to stop expressing extremely embarrassing details about yourself.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

I wonder, since the definition seems to be vague and general - what qualifies one as a lollolcow?

This is like asking "what makes something funny?"
There's no strict criteria. If you attract a lot of attention, some of it will be negative. If some of that negative attention comes from users on this site, someone might start a thread.

The real question is "why are you afraid of having a thread?" Have you shared embarrassing details about yourself on The Internet? Why did you do that? Do you intend to continue doing so?

 

[CoffeeCup]

How do you *not* end up as a lolcow on this site?​

By any means necessary.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

Two same-day joins, each on this same day, both powerleveling.
What exactly is going on here?

 

[Lokenstien]

Every furry has a humiliation fetish and threads like these prove it.

 

[Jarl Varg]

Total.Furfag.Death.

 

[blimpBigv2]

Alright, this has been a "great" thread. Let me reply to some of the messages that weren't just "die, dogfucker":

@PyrrhicRustle: I learn from my mistakes and apologize pretty quickly if I do make one. I made sure to pick an extremely random username so it's not traceable (no, I'm not into inflation, thank God) but I negated to read the warning about the throwaway email. Nobody is going to LARP as me anyways, right? (thanks for waiting until the end, by the way, and giving solid advice)

@Penis Drager 2.0: I haven't shared embarrassing details about myself on the Internet - I'm not worried about people going after me, but moreso my family.

@Latex Catmaid I practice pretty decent opsec - I think the most information I've shared publicly is what state I live in - but I do need to go through old accounts and make sure nothing is left behind.

Overall a surprisingly decent thread, but since I don't want to rot my brain any further, I bid adieu, and recommend everybody play Black Myth: Wukong. It really is that good.

 

[Cemetery Support]

Be uninteresting. The perfect lolcow is a neverending shitshow of a human being who allows their life to publicly crumble. Becoming uninteresting online is extremely easy once you realize that its all fake, gay, and public. The incentive to have an active twitter or discord shrivels up pretty quickly after that realization sinks in.

You should have stage fright every time you make a post, no matter where you post it.

Alright, this has been a "great" thread. Let me reply to some of the messages that weren't just "die, dogfucker":

Also, you have to say nigger before you leave. Dems da rules.

 

[LibBat18]

Just do not use the internet as your personal diary

 

[Drip Torch]

The only winning move at a game you cant win is to not play.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

send feet pics to a mod

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

send feet pics to a mod

We could solve 99% of the worlds problems if everyone just sent Null feet pics.

 

[Marc]

I practice pretty decent opsec

You made a thread about yourself in which the kindest words you had for yourself was to proclaim that you're a furry. This serves only to give the impression that what you're eager to admit to being is merely the tip of the iceberg. There was no demonstration of self-awareness that the sentiment "I'm not into inflation, thank god" is how other sexual deviants feel when they compare themselves favorably to whatever horrible shit you apparently practice "pretty decent opsec" in order to consume.

Lolcows continuously rationalize how they're "totally not a lolcow, guys!" in public (as you have done). Preemptively making a thread to prove to yourself that you're in control of your Internet proclivities (and not liable to slip up in some coomer brain lapse of judgement with catastrophic consequences) does not serve to make the impression you seem to think it does. Having to ask how to avoid being a featured lolcow is to implicitly concede that such an outcome is something within the realm of possibility for you, and which you hope to avoid through insights unknown to you. That's not an inference any interested party will take lightly: They will assume you desire to be outed and humiliated.