How many alarm cocks should I use to get up in the morning? - 🤔

[Space_Dandy]

I want to be up and ready to go as quickly as possible.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Just one that gets the job done.

And no, I didn't misread your title.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

One in your ass is hard to forget about.

 

[CallmeCicada]

OP felted by his own auto correct.

 

[eatler]

Usually one rooster. I have a hunch if you are on here your on this farm you don't have an actual farm so you may want to just keep your chicken count low.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

Use a Nintendo Alarmo.

 

[eatler]

Use a Nintendo Alarmo.

 

[Haloperidol]

Have one set for every ten minutes and be sure to leave your phone somewhere everyone except you can hear it, works for most people I know.

edit: I am illiterate.

 

[Aiōn]

I believe 3-5 in an 8 hour period. If you can't 'get it up' in the morning you should visit a doctor.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

There are many variables to take into consideration when determining the amount and type of alarm cocks that one should use to get up in the morning. Are you between the ages of 3 - 5 years old (children under 3 should not use alarm cocks)? If so, a half of an alarm cock should suffice. 5 - 23 years old and a whole cock is usually enough to do the job. 24 year old need 17 alarm cocks for some unknown reason. 25 - 99 years old needs 3 alarm cocks. It goes without saying that a person can use an additional alarm cock as needed, but never for more than 5 days in a row (unless approved by a doctor).

Secondly, in what position do you most frequently sleep? On your back? A digital alarm cock is most helpful. On your side? A free range organic alarm cock has the most recorded benefits. On your belly? If you sleep on your belly, no amount of alarm cocks will help.

Lastly, what is your desired outcome from the alarm cock? If you want a refreshing springtime fresh experience, try and find a alarm cock in a pastel color. If you are a more "no-nonsense" kind of alarm cock user, consider a leather or suede alarm cock. If you are the "footloose and fancy free" type, an aluminium alarm cock is indispensable.

I hope this answers all or most of your alarm cock related questions.

 

[Aunt Carol]

If you're in a city or incorporated area, check the local codes first. There are often rules about livestock in city limits. While an extra chicken can slip by, your neighbors are more likely to notice your cock.

After enough early mornings, you might have the unfortunate experience of city officials removing your cock to be humanely destroyed.

 

[Waifu Days]

Are you assuming you can get one in the first place, let alone multiple?

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

i set one alarm to trick my body into thinking i get to sleep in, the second alarm is 2 hours later

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

a big one can last you a long time