how many existential crisis-es are there

The first existential crisis you realize life is meaningles

The second existential crisis you realize youre not going to be anything special in life like the idols you worship.

Im almost done with the second.


What comes next

You become a bloomer who uses the basis of nothing in life mattering to live how you want.
 
The first existential crisis you realize life is meaningles

The second existential crisis you realize youre not going to be anything special in life like the idols you worship.

Im almost done with the second.


What comes next
You're full of shit about the 2nd. Even the best of them are flawed people and Caesar himself rose to his greatest heights in his 40s. You still have a life.
 
It's a combination of the two. I'm working on a very limited part-time basis atm and looking for a new job, still living at home, and have pretty much lost contact with all my old friends.

The doubts with school are more so just worrying whether or not I'm going into a field I'll be happy with as a long-time career. They aren't huge doubts, because I think I will enjoy it, but they still exist.

I just don't feel good about where I'm at in life and I have a long ways to go before I'll be out of this hole. I've wasted so much time and I'm starting to feel the repercussions of it now more than ever.

A big part of it might be the fact that you're still at home. Getting out was a night and day difference for me in terms of mental health. Not specifically because my family is unpleasant to be around (although, they often are) but because parents in general never stop trying to make you feel like a child, which can cause feelings of stagnation.

For what it's worth, I don't think 28 is very high up there. Everyone's frame of reference for age is different and this sounds more like an idea that you're imposing on yourself. Could it be that spending time around school kids is just making you feel old in comparison?
 
A big part of it might be the fact that you're still at home. Getting out was a night and day difference for me in terms of mental health. Not specifically because my family is unpleasant to be around (although, they often are) but because parents in general never stop trying to make you feel like a child, which can cause feelings of stagnation.

For what it's worth, I don't think 28 is very high up there. Everyone's frame of reference for age is different and this sounds more like an idea that you're imposing on yourself. Could it be that spending time around school kids is just making you feel old in comparison?

Yeah, living at home is definitely a factor. It's nice in some regards, but it does depress me quite a bit.

And it's more so comparing myself to peers that really drives it all home for me.
There is no set path, I know this, but the comparisons happen regardless.

I am trying to better myself and move forward, but there's still a lot that weighs on my mind regardless of that.
This past weekend has been the worst its been in quite some time, so I do appreciate the help and advice you guys are giving right now.
 
Ever since I was five, I’d zoom out at random moments and start thinking of life is truly just this. I can’t really put it in words but I’d think of that and I’d panic for some seconds, I hated thinking about that and would try to forget it as soon as I could.
 
I did have one moment in college, while sitting at a lab with a cranky TA, when I zoned out and imagined my entire future. It was basically a long tunnel of the same exhaustion and stress of that moment and I thought to myself “I’m not willing to live through this.”

Even though I was raised in an academically intense family with limited career choices, I lucked out in that my older siblings had already failed to become doctors and were suffering from serious mental issues, so my family didn’t fight me too hard when I started working on a more fulfilling career.

Getting a job that is relevant to my degree was a surprise and I don’t make a lot of money. I’m sure it’ll bite me in the ass one day. But honestly, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. This is still better than living a life I didn’t want.
 
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Yeah, living at home is definitely a factor. It's nice in some regards, but it does depress me quite a bit.

And it's more so comparing myself to peers that really drives it all home for me.
There is no set path, I know this, but the comparisons happen regardless.

I am trying to better myself and move forward, but there's still a lot that weighs on my mind regardless of that.
This past weekend has been the worst its been in quite some time, so I do appreciate the help and advice you guys are giving right now.
Oof, relatable. Only in my mid-twenties, so a bit younger than you, but I can relate to this quite well.

In my case tax debt is basically screwing me, so not much that I have control over (Since I'm taking care of a sick relative, thus the debt).

Then again, mid-twenties to thirties is a pretty common time for a crisis. I cope through daydreaming and keeping myself occupied with my underpaid job.

Wouldn't worry too much about comparing yourself to others. I do it myself quite a bit, but then I realize most of my peers (former classmates and so on) are all lowlives without much prospect either. Sure, some got married but then again, pretty sure they'll be bitter in a few years.
 
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The last existential crisis is when you're 70-80 and you realize you wasted your entire life.
 
reflecting on all the things you could have been had you just a bit more awareness when you had that early-20s vigor really stings. it's all gone now, never coming back. what's worse is that there's no point in even investing in my society (the US) anymore anyway as it's just one of rapidly increasing alienation from all sides. this alone makes me not want to have kids at all.
Your next one will be seeing people around you having their kids to live for, but not you, you can only live vicariously through other people's kids.

You'll get to be the weird wine aunt/uncle that everybody feels sorry for.
 
Even though I was raised in an academically intense family with limited career choices, I lucked out in that my older siblings had already failed to become doctors and were suffering from serious mental issues, so my family didn’t fight me too hard when I started working on a more fulfilling career.

lol I'd estimate that a pretty significant minority of doctors got forced in to it by their parents

It's pretty fun being a doctor though. Med school and residency is not.
 
lol I'd estimate that a pretty significant minority of doctors got forced in to it by their parents

It's pretty fun being a doctor though. Med school and residency is not.

It's probably fun for those who have a passion for it. I was pushed into it by doctor parents and they've always been pretty miserable.

Edit:

From their perspective, a lot of it involves dealing with homeless people and pulling makeshift dildos out of people's asses. I've also gotten disturbing stories like holding a stillbirth that's falling apart, or a teenager getting her face peeled off in a car crash.

I don't know. Academic shortcomings aside, that's pretty horrifying to me. Even if I didn't specialize in the same thing, there's always going to be something tragic and a lot of responsibility for others. I'm too stuck in my own head to handle that.
 
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Your next existential crisis is probably going to be when you realize you can make a weak but limited impact on the world with the weak but limited skills you have, then begin to suffer stress every single time anything interferes with your autistic desire to make a difference, no matter how ambitious or unambitious it is.

Currently in that stage like a crooked accountant ends up in a pair of cement shoes. Please send someone to shoot me in the head.

What are you, seventeen? Worshipping idols is a sure-fire way to fuck your life up; they're not real, you're not seeing the truth about them and you wouldn't really want to be them if you knew what it was like.

Eh, having no idols at all and being suspicious of every single person you admire is also a path to self-destruction. We only ever like the idea of a person anyway. I'd say, pick some more relatable idols who are also dead and have been for long enough that you can be reasonably sure no horrible shit came out about them afterwards.
 
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