How many vaccines is it rational to give a newborn baby

[A Real Munson]

Don't listen to everyon else ITT. You need to vaccinate them AGAINST autism first. Then give them all the other vaccines for HPV and Hep B or whatever. Doing the vaccine schedule out of order is what causes autism. Hope this helps.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

No thanks, not a big fan of SIDS

 

[I hate women (like you)]

Vaccines are setting young people up for failure. What are vaccines? They are weak versions of diseases. If you sugarcoat what real world looks like for them, they're going to become incompetent and unhappy adults. Or, if your child is particularly strong, the weak-ass vaccine will cause a dissonance strong enough for their organism to half-kill itself, which manifests as autism. Maybe throw the baby in some mud, maybe don't wash their hands, whatever you do remember, that nothing good comes from shortcuts in this life.

 

[Preacher ✝]

If you think about it, baptism is like a vaccine against original sin.

 

[Rootless Cosmopolitan]

Skip hep B at birth unless the mother is an IV drug user or prostitute. In which case, there’s a whole protocol with antibodies and whatnot they do anyway these days.

You can always give your kid the hep B vaccine later, but it’s silly to give it at birth these days when every woman with access to prenatal care is screened 20,000 times for hepatitis anyway.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

The ones that are actually vaccines, rather than experimental gene therapies.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

No thanks, not a big fan of SIDS

SIDS is actually caused by fat women crushing their babies in bed while sleeping: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11230594/

Conclusions: By demonstrating that among an urban population at high risk for SIDS, bedsharing is strongly associated with a younger age at death, independent of any other factors, this study provides evidence of a relationship between some SIDS-like deaths and parent-infant bedsharing, particularly if the parent is large.

(I'm pretty sure that "urban" is a code for "black" here)

 

[Rootless Cosmopolitan]

SIDS is actually caused by fat women crushing their babies in bed while sleeping: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11230594/

(I'm pretty sure that "urban" is a code for "black" here)

It’s also caused by people crushing their babies while bedsharing after going to bed drunk/high/on meds.

 

[FBI's Moderately Wanted]

Give your baby every vaccine all at once. Only the strong will survive.

 

[Pagan Min]

Make sure your baby receives JUST enough vaccines to cause the little crotch-goblin to start frothing at the mouth. That's how you know they're working!

 

[Cap-tan]

Inject the baby into the vaccine.