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- Feb 20, 2016
How our community handles death
- Thread starter Null
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- Jul 14, 2016
Been off doing this- But gimme a second to backtrack for a bit, and sorta address everyone's stuff.
@entropyseekswork :: She cheated before she was aware of him prostituting himself. That particular discovery was at the tail-end of their relationship. And her being angry at him for what he was doing without telling her, is what kicked off him breaking up with her.
Transparency of her activities and fidelity were required of Julie, but the opposite was clearly not true.
That said, in regard to her cheating - he had already started playing mind games with her, by that point. Her honest motivations simply seemed to boil down to wanting sex, but there also seemed to be a 'seeking companionship' component. Her life did not exactly provide her a stable partnership, considering they lived relatively seperately, and he just sort of dropped in on her, and then would resume doing his things, dealing with his issues, bouncing off the stuff relating to his ex, and his desire to be involved with the raising of said kid.
And she also seemed to thrive off the idea of pissing him off, and provoking him into hurting her/upping the ante of her punishments. Different strokes for different folks. All that Jazz.
@bacterium :: Thank you. I have long since become used to interesting people gravitating towards me (or meddling in their matters). So, I've become sort of old hat at navigating the absurd.
@Tacoman :: Kek
@Chan the Wizard :: Honestly? Had better, had worse. Maybe she just knew how to clench up? Meh, either way. The relative lack of a gag reflex had it's perks, though. *Shrug*
@Gym Leader Elesa :: There is no such thing as 'Sacred'. If Canada was bombed, I'd QQ a bit, then crack some jokes about irradiated igloos.
@Terrorist :: I think part of it, also, is so many of them were so disconnected from her life, and the things she was going through, that they literally had no idea what to say, other than whatever fluffy bullshit would let them sleep at night with an easy conscience. "We didn't know? How could we? She was such a sweet girl and certainly didn't seem indicative of a ticking time bomb waiting to go off with her blatant deathwish, self harming, and photos indicative of such. Shit, bro. Nobody could have seen this coming. Especially not us, her family, who were so close. Don't judge us, bro."
@entropyseekswork :: She cheated before she was aware of him prostituting himself. That particular discovery was at the tail-end of their relationship. And her being angry at him for what he was doing without telling her, is what kicked off him breaking up with her.
Transparency of her activities and fidelity were required of Julie, but the opposite was clearly not true.
That said, in regard to her cheating - he had already started playing mind games with her, by that point. Her honest motivations simply seemed to boil down to wanting sex, but there also seemed to be a 'seeking companionship' component. Her life did not exactly provide her a stable partnership, considering they lived relatively seperately, and he just sort of dropped in on her, and then would resume doing his things, dealing with his issues, bouncing off the stuff relating to his ex, and his desire to be involved with the raising of said kid.
And she also seemed to thrive off the idea of pissing him off, and provoking him into hurting her/upping the ante of her punishments. Different strokes for different folks. All that Jazz.
@bacterium :: Thank you. I have long since become used to interesting people gravitating towards me (or meddling in their matters). So, I've become sort of old hat at navigating the absurd.
@Tacoman :: Kek
@Chan the Wizard :: Honestly? Had better, had worse. Maybe she just knew how to clench up? Meh, either way. The relative lack of a gag reflex had it's perks, though. *Shrug*
@Gym Leader Elesa :: There is no such thing as 'Sacred'. If Canada was bombed, I'd QQ a bit, then crack some jokes about irradiated igloos.
@Terrorist :: I think part of it, also, is so many of them were so disconnected from her life, and the things she was going through, that they literally had no idea what to say, other than whatever fluffy bullshit would let them sleep at night with an easy conscience. "We didn't know? How could we? She was such a sweet girl and certainly didn't seem indicative of a ticking time bomb waiting to go off with her blatant deathwish, self harming, and photos indicative of such. Shit, bro. Nobody could have seen this coming. Especially not us, her family, who were so close. Don't judge us, bro."
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- Jan 17, 2016
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I think he was talking about your 'too soon' comment. As in, he isn't bothered by it.
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- Jan 17, 2016
Huh, I checked through all of this thread and didn't find that. Which is fine. I probably said something about the sanctity of life- I have on the forums before. I just couldn't remember bringing it up recently. I made a comment about all life being "precious" on page one but couldn't find anything about "too soon." Oh well. I think I get the gist of his position.
V
VJ 120
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Do you know more about her family situation? Like why they seemed to just fucking blow off their suicidal daughter and turned her obituary into their person family story? A lot of Kiwis (myself included) were horrified to see the way her family turned a blind eye to their autistic daughter's obvious cries for help. Are her parents druggies or something?
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2013
I haven't been very active on the forum, and I usually don't venture far from the Chris forum so I can't say I know the specifics about this lady involved.
I've known many, many people who were suicidal and sadly, I knew someone who did commit suicide. I think the thing to keep in mind is when you're in that state of mind, it's not simply one thing going on but a lot of different things. It's not a very pleasant state of mind as you're stuck in a worldview that nothing can possibly get better or you can overcome it. It's rarely the case that one specific factor is at play when it comes to suicide and blaming yourself for a person's suicide is no different than blaming yourself for not saving someone who was suicidal but didn't stop them.
As I've gotten older, I've seen people I know die. Many of these people were about my age (and I'm not that old) so they were robbed of their life in their prime. I think when you're young like this lady, sometimes it's really hard to appreciate the value of life when you really haven't seen people who died (when they didn't want to).
They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It took me a long time to really appreciate that as I think it's quite true. Likewise, I used to think that saying "suicide is selfish" was a wrong thing to say - why does your death matter if you're dead? The thing is, from what I saw when one of my online friends killed himself, his impact really rippled out. I barely knew the guy but his death still had an impact on me. I can't imagine what his closest friends and family thought either.
This may sound morbid but sometimes I use other people's death to reflect on my own mortality and to be thankful that even given all my other circumstances, which may not be ideal, I am at least alive.
As a side note, to mention a note Null said, it's boggled my mind how much the forums have had an impact in people's lives. I started the forums purely as a sperg containment off the CWCki and it's become a thriving community where people have made friends, found a community they can belong to, and even found love. That said, I realize this is often at the cost of abusing other people. Personally, I'm reluctant to mock people who have serious mental health issues like that Gail lady or someone who is deeply depressed. Again, I do not know the specifics with this lady but I think as long as people are not actively trolling these people and actively harassing them, I don't see the harm of people mocking Internet weirdos on here.
I've known many, many people who were suicidal and sadly, I knew someone who did commit suicide. I think the thing to keep in mind is when you're in that state of mind, it's not simply one thing going on but a lot of different things. It's not a very pleasant state of mind as you're stuck in a worldview that nothing can possibly get better or you can overcome it. It's rarely the case that one specific factor is at play when it comes to suicide and blaming yourself for a person's suicide is no different than blaming yourself for not saving someone who was suicidal but didn't stop them.
As I've gotten older, I've seen people I know die. Many of these people were about my age (and I'm not that old) so they were robbed of their life in their prime. I think when you're young like this lady, sometimes it's really hard to appreciate the value of life when you really haven't seen people who died (when they didn't want to).
They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It took me a long time to really appreciate that as I think it's quite true. Likewise, I used to think that saying "suicide is selfish" was a wrong thing to say - why does your death matter if you're dead? The thing is, from what I saw when one of my online friends killed himself, his impact really rippled out. I barely knew the guy but his death still had an impact on me. I can't imagine what his closest friends and family thought either.
This may sound morbid but sometimes I use other people's death to reflect on my own mortality and to be thankful that even given all my other circumstances, which may not be ideal, I am at least alive.
As a side note, to mention a note Null said, it's boggled my mind how much the forums have had an impact in people's lives. I started the forums purely as a sperg containment off the CWCki and it's become a thriving community where people have made friends, found a community they can belong to, and even found love. That said, I realize this is often at the cost of abusing other people. Personally, I'm reluctant to mock people who have serious mental health issues like that Gail lady or someone who is deeply depressed. Again, I do not know the specifics with this lady but I think as long as people are not actively trolling these people and actively harassing them, I don't see the harm of people mocking Internet weirdos on here.
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- Jul 14, 2016
As I mentioned before, my interactions with her family, beyond her 'grandmother' figure, were non-existent. I simply got to hear about them from Julie.
H
HG 400
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kiwifarms.net
Nah if you're the type of person who gets talked about on Kiwi Farms (or even just posts here), suicide is probably the smartest option available to you. If you have anything to do with this website you clearly have serious, permanent problems and should probably just do everyone in your life a favor and take that shot.
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- Nov 16, 2015
So when are you going to take that shot?
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- Oct 10, 2013
R
RI 360
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kiwifarms.net
Julie's memory lives on.
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- Jul 16, 2016
Julay finally got a gravestone. Mike continues in his attempts to act as though he gave half of a shit about her while she was alive- including trying to glom onto the rest of the Terryberrys.
http://archive.is/8jLBJ
http://archive.is/8jLBJ
R
RI 360
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kiwifarms.net
That's what her shitty tattoo said.
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- Feb 23, 2015
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Yeah, it was the illegible tattoo she had from the movie The Crow.
V
VJ 120
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kiwifarms.net
They couldn't even get the quote on her headstone grammatically correctJulay finally got a gravestone. Mike continues in his attempts to act as though he gave half of a shit about her while she was alive- including trying to glom onto the rest of the Terryberrys.
http://archive.is/8jLBJ
Julie's an eternal cow. God bless.
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- Jul 12, 2013
It would be hypocritical for any of us to get all sad about a lolcow death, just move on. This isn't the happy love forum lol
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- Nov 7, 2016
She presented herself as some disrespectful, know it all brat online. If Effluence is right about her being a sweet girl IRL who could actually have friends then why was she being such an unlikable bitch online? We'd all feel bad for her if she wasn't trying to keep up this awful online persona and admitted to being unhappy. People showed actual concern for her in her thread and she grouped those messages with the h8rz. Death doesn't pardon the shit you do/ say when you were alive you don't have to respect someone just because they die.
She put Mike on this goddamn pedestal and rejected all outside opinion about their relationship (of lack thereof) just like every lonely young girl does at her age. She obviously had no idea what real love was and that's a shame.
She put Mike on this goddamn pedestal and rejected all outside opinion about their relationship (of lack thereof) just like every lonely young girl does at her age. She obviously had no idea what real love was and that's a shame.
kaiwaii
kiwifarms.net
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- Aug 21, 2016
I'm not surprised she ended up taking her life as in Canada mental health help is abysmal. Most treatment centers are entirely private and the wait to see a Psychiatrist can exceed six months. We also have no national drug coverage so it's unlikely anyone without insurance could ever be able to afford meds.
People that kill themselves typically see no way out. And a person such as you described did not have a lot of options to keep her going.
People that kill themselves typically see no way out. And a person such as you described did not have a lot of options to keep her going.
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