Seth MacFarlane
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2021
How to be based and redpilled:
1. Consume Monster energy drinks.
2. Always carry a can of Monster energy drink in your purse, in your glove box, and in the trunk of your car.
3. Drink 1 full can of Monster Energy Drink and feel like you’re in a video game.
4. If you get pulled over for whatever reason, immediately start in about whatever video game you’re playing in your head.
5. When the police ask you why you’re speeding, tell them that you’re trying to get to the end of a level.
6. If you don’t know how to play the game, ask the officer for a few tips.
7. When the police tell you to slow down, tell them that you’re trying to accelerate to an imaginary destination.
8. Always respond to the police officer with a question. For example: “Sir, would you care for a Monster Energy Drink?”.
9. As soon as the officer grants your request, tell him: “I’d love a Monster energy drink, Sir.”
10. If your car stops abruptly in the middle of the highway, immediately start screaming about your character in your game: “I’m on the last level, I can’t stop!”.
11. If the police threaten you with a “perp walk”, tell them about your game.
12. If the officer says: “You shouldn’t be driving if you’re under the influence of alcohol.”, tell him: “Sir, I play video games every night. You can search my car for any traces of Monster energy drink.”
13. When the officer pulls you over, say: “Sir, I hope you’re not writing me a ticket for my game. This game doesn’t mean I was drunk. I was trying to accelerate to my house. I’m from the future, Sir.”
14. Tell the police that your car has “time-travel” capabilities.
15. If you’re pulled over and the police say: “Can I look inside your car?” Tell him: “Sir, I don’t know where the game settings are.”
16. If the police pulls out a gun and puts it to your head, ask him for a second chance.
17. If the officer asks: “What were you playing when I pulled you over?” Say: “Sir, it’s a game from the future. We’re not supposed to play it. I didn’t know. I’ll make sure this never happens again.”
18. Tell him: “I’m the President of the United States in real life, Sir. I play video games because I’m bored. If I can’t play video games, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
19. Tell the officer that you were born in the 80s and just learned to drive.
20. Ask the officer if he wants to try out a racing game. If he says “yes”, take him to go play the game and get him intoxicated.
21. Tell the police that you have a gun pointed at the back of your head and you’re going to run him over.
22. Tell the police that your car is “self-aware” and could kill them if it wanted to.
23. Tell the police that you have a secret nuclear weapon hidden somewhere in the car.
24. After a few moments of “wasting” time, tell the police that they can either arrest you for drunk driving, or you can go free.
25. Tell the police that you can smell gasoline on the officer’s breath, and you’ve known him for a long time.
26. When the officer leaves the car, turn the vehicle on.
27. Tell the officer that you’re a member of an “urban combat league” and there’s another policeman nearby watching. You’ll kill him if you have to.
28. If the officer pulls his weapon, shoot the officer. (He can’t shoot you.)
1. Consume Monster energy drinks.
2. Always carry a can of Monster energy drink in your purse, in your glove box, and in the trunk of your car.
3. Drink 1 full can of Monster Energy Drink and feel like you’re in a video game.
4. If you get pulled over for whatever reason, immediately start in about whatever video game you’re playing in your head.
5. When the police ask you why you’re speeding, tell them that you’re trying to get to the end of a level.
6. If you don’t know how to play the game, ask the officer for a few tips.
7. When the police tell you to slow down, tell them that you’re trying to accelerate to an imaginary destination.
8. Always respond to the police officer with a question. For example: “Sir, would you care for a Monster Energy Drink?”.
9. As soon as the officer grants your request, tell him: “I’d love a Monster energy drink, Sir.”
10. If your car stops abruptly in the middle of the highway, immediately start screaming about your character in your game: “I’m on the last level, I can’t stop!”.
11. If the police threaten you with a “perp walk”, tell them about your game.
12. If the officer says: “You shouldn’t be driving if you’re under the influence of alcohol.”, tell him: “Sir, I play video games every night. You can search my car for any traces of Monster energy drink.”
13. When the officer pulls you over, say: “Sir, I hope you’re not writing me a ticket for my game. This game doesn’t mean I was drunk. I was trying to accelerate to my house. I’m from the future, Sir.”
14. Tell the police that your car has “time-travel” capabilities.
15. If you’re pulled over and the police say: “Can I look inside your car?” Tell him: “Sir, I don’t know where the game settings are.”
16. If the police pulls out a gun and puts it to your head, ask him for a second chance.
17. If the officer asks: “What were you playing when I pulled you over?” Say: “Sir, it’s a game from the future. We’re not supposed to play it. I didn’t know. I’ll make sure this never happens again.”
18. Tell him: “I’m the President of the United States in real life, Sir. I play video games because I’m bored. If I can’t play video games, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
19. Tell the officer that you were born in the 80s and just learned to drive.
20. Ask the officer if he wants to try out a racing game. If he says “yes”, take him to go play the game and get him intoxicated.
21. Tell the police that you have a gun pointed at the back of your head and you’re going to run him over.
22. Tell the police that your car is “self-aware” and could kill them if it wanted to.
23. Tell the police that you have a secret nuclear weapon hidden somewhere in the car.
24. After a few moments of “wasting” time, tell the police that they can either arrest you for drunk driving, or you can go free.
25. Tell the police that you can smell gasoline on the officer’s breath, and you’ve known him for a long time.
26. When the officer leaves the car, turn the vehicle on.
27. Tell the officer that you’re a member of an “urban combat league” and there’s another policeman nearby watching. You’ll kill him if you have to.
28. If the officer pulls his weapon, shoot the officer. (He can’t shoot you.)
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